Shout

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned...

Psalm of David

To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.

No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous without excuse.

Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;

guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.

Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.

Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.

All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

He will spend his days in prosperity,
and his descendants will inherit the land.

The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.

My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.

The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.

Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.

See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!

Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.

May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.

Redeem Israel, O God,
from all their troubles!

-Psalm 25

O, let me shout my Christian Voice.

{/3:00 PM}

me

weekend

What an amazing weekend!

Friday. OSC's 3rd Anniversary Celebrations@Sentosa. It was alright I guess. Nothing too fancy though. After dismissal at around 1330 most of the guys went on the play soccer on the beach. I didn't join them though; trotted off with the rest to get off the island. Had a hard time deciding whether to go straight to school or head home first. In the end, decided that going home THEN going to school again was too much trouble. Reached NJ at around 3. Nobody anywhere. Couldn't find SP anywhere as well, so was a bit disappointed. Year ones chased me out of the choir store, so couldn't stay there as well. Decided on my favourite activity - went to Coffee Bean to enjoy coffee and read book.

And as luck would have been, it started to rain. And it soon got real uncomfortable sitting on those cheapskate, low quality chairs at Coffee Bean. Ahh.. missed those Starbucks sofa.. Got a bit restless. Proceeded to irritate and pester Feli to come for ESS. Haha. Went back to NJ in the rain.

The farewell program went quite well I suppose. Kudos to the year ones, even though they didn't want me there at all. The usual, speeches by pres and vice pres. Speeches by teachers [thanks to Ms Teo who advertised THE ALUMNI on my behalf]. There was a slideshow of pictures that was quite heartwarming and memory-stimulating. The A Cappella singing was the usual tip-top standard. The skit was pretty hilarious, although I was slightly peeved at the 'I'm not THAT Ms Lim, I'm C.K. Lim' thing. I know she has something against me. BAH. Don't bloody care. The Bin Nam Ma parody was a blast. Lol.

Dinner, more singing, blah blah. Angela and Liting arrives. Sang a couple of oldies with the year twos. Talked to Ms Lim about [what else?] alumni and next year. The 'prize presentation' was so super draggy. We finally left the school at around 10 I think. Headed to Coffee Bean with a few of the year twos. Left at around 2330.

Reading Ash's blog, I realised that I myself didn't really blogged/talk much about MY choir experience in NJ. But, that's another story for another time.

Saturday, woke up super early [like 6am] and debated with myself whether to trot down to popular to collect my Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince or not. In the end, the lure of my bed won over the desire to read. Slept until 11+, then went to collect the book before going off for service.

CRAVE! The singing was fantastic. The dance was not bad. The cut scenes were quite funny. The sermon was super good as usual. Nice to hear Pastor Jeff preaching again!! Quite a good harvest, praise God! Could really feel the HS working towards the end, during worship and altar call. Here's praying that the HS can work overtime next week to have an even BIGGER harvest! FELICIA is coming for service! That is, if she doesn't change her mind last minute. Haha. Pray with me people!

Got some NJ converts too yay! Hope NJ is huge =D I thought Harry's classmate looked super familiar, but I just couldn't place it. She, on the other hand, had a much better memory than me. Seems like we met in LT1 before, playing piano.

After service slacked around Starhub waiting for Dilane [I think that's how you spell it? >_<] to come. Mich almost ran away with my HBP ahh! Haha. Then went to Pizza Hut with my CG. Talked a lot, mostly about NS stuff la, which was fun, watching and hearing them grumble about staying in, doing sai4 gang1, lack of sleep, insane training programs, burning weekends, etc..., while I just nodded my head in amusement. LOL. I don't understand even half the terms they were throwing around, all those NS jargon, but nonetheless it was fun.

Poor Lincoln, I must affirm him. He is so amazing, rushing down for service every week immediately after he booked out. You should have seen his face on saturday, he looked like he was going to fall asleep right there and then. And last week during Central F outing at East Coast, he actually booked out, came straight to East Coast to meet us, then booked in again that SAME evening. Such amazing dedication. And the LOVE he pours out for Dilane. WHOA. He rocks. =D

I met up with Jiehui at AMK. I was happily reading my HBP at Mac while waiting for him. I was so nice to wait for him until 10++, and he was actually LATE, AND he still DARED to JUMP ON ME. I literally jumped up from my seat la. I was engrossed in my book ok! Then he had to appear out of nowhere and scare me. Grrr. Anyway it was so nice to meet him every week, just talking about stuff, catching up. Went for late dinner with him. After 2 bowls of noodles he ordered 20 sticks of satay. Almost couldn't finish. We ended up playing pick-up-sticks, loser eat. Imagine that. LOL. Watched Fantastic Four. Not too bad a show. I don't know why people think Jessica Alba is so hot. Let's just say I wasn't particularly "tempted". Haha. 4 stars out of 5, because of the company =]. Walked back to his place. Listened to the Hope worship CD while he was chatting randomly on MSN. I flipped through his HCJC yearbook and realise that I probably know MORE people in his school than in NJ. I mean, all those TCHS people, there was not a single class where I didn't know at least one person. Finally fell asleep at around 0230, I think.

Woke up early to go for service. Quite a good sermon, although Pastor Ben's style is radically different from Pastor Jeff. Kaiyan was at the service too, I think he came in halfway. After service walked to Istana Park for CG.

I think it was our first official CG, with Daniel as the new CL and Nick and Junyao [spelling unsure] joining us. Only person missing was Dilane. In camp, I think. It was great fun! We played a variation of pig heart attack. The worship was quite nice - Daniel plays and sings well =] We were talking about NS ministry, how it's a two year ministry just like JC, how there's such a large pool of guys to tap into, how important it is for us as pioneers of the ministry. Can see that Daniel is really convicted about this. And super excited. Haha. He's just like a little kiddo la. What a great leader. Really "Man of Miracles". Can really see God working through him.

Could tell that Jiehui was a little distracted though. I think he's going through a lot in NS. Not backsliding though, just discouraged, I think, always having to miss service and all. O God, please take care of him. Thanks! =D

Went home after CG for a while to freshen up, then left again. Mom was pretty peeved. I was like missing for the whole of Friday/Saturday/Sunday. Haha. Lucky for the straight bus [got crooked bus one meh? - Jiehui]. 1 hour plus ride, just nice for me to continue reading HBP. Finally reached Bishi's house at around 1720. If you don't know, she is my junior from PCPS choir. Sec 2. NO, I am not a pedophile. Nice house. Her 2 puppies are soooo cute. Like, I was almost tempted to just bring one of them home la. Haha. Her piano was quite nice, cured my itch. =] She grew a lot since I last saw her, which, sad to say, was what, two years ago? She's so tall already, almost reaching my height, AND she still has a couple more years of growing to do! *shudders*. Taller than Sher already, hahahah..

Went down to Esplanade, ate at this California Bistro place. Sher met us halfway through dinner. Then we went for the concert. Clare Yeo@Esplanade. Youngest ever Singaporean admitted to Julliard. In fact, the ONLY Singaporean admitted. Truly a child prodigy. Her playing was fantastic. Good technique, very musical. AND she's only 13! Amazing. So envoius la. I wish I can play like that. What a great night to end a great weekend!

I loved my weekend =] Really blessed.

In the words of Ash:

gee/oh/dee rocks!

{/9:43 AM}

me

transformation

Transformation.

Getting scared now.

NS is really a trying time. There is never a day in work where I do not struggle with doing my best in everything for the glory of God, or just slack off and meet the bare minimum requirements since that's what almost everyone else is doing. Not a day passes where I do not struggle with respecting the authorities or scorning them with typical teenage condecension and superiority. Everyday I struggle with upholding my God given morals or succumbing to the peer influence of my perishing collegues.

Funny, how we feel the need to 'fit in' and 'go with the flow' of the unrighteous and unsaved. Even though we know it's wrong and not worth it. 'Total depravity' at work, it seems. My birthday verse again:

Do not envy wicked men,
do not desire their company;
- proverbs 24:1

It scared me, how quickly I jumped onto the bandwagon and went with the flow. Without even a noticable pause I joined the rest in bashing the CO, throwing in all the regulars into the mix for good measure as well. Not once did I even consider that what we were so used to doing was already WRONG in the first place, and that the CO's 'orders' were merely repetitions of what we already know we should be doing.

More sergeats in the office now, meaning more smokers. Thank God, that my office environment is not that bad, as I know there are worse in other units. I have every confidence in God that I will survive my NS unscarthed. Even better, I know that I will be enriched spiritually and grow in the ways of the Lord. And I pray the same for my NS brothers.

More later, now must do work.

{/11:58 AM}

me

happy things

I have decided, that I shall only blog about HAPPY things from now on.

That being said...

CENTRAL F ROCKS MY SOCKS.

I am now suffering from butt cramps. And scraped knees. And an overdose of happiness =p

Okay start from beginning.

Met Jiehui for breakfast at Cartel. Food was not bad, although the waiting time was a bit too much. Then we walked over to the station control to meet the rest. No surprises, the NS guys were the most on time! Haha. The girls, LATE LAH, as usual.

Anyway reached East Coast, put stuff down, found a nice patch of grass and started with double wacko, for the benifit of the 2 new bros joining central F who didn't know everyone else's names yet. Actually, for my benifit also, since I didn't know everyone either. Hah! After wacko we played PANIC. OH MAN. I almost lost. ALMOST. Thank God I didn't hah!

Then we played a bit of captain's ball. The guys were all irritated that their carefully calculated trajectories were all destroyed by the low hanging branches of the trees. Well, actually, more like amused. Makes the game more unpredictable and fun anyway. After that we were planning to go kayaking but the weather turned quite threatening so we decided to go blading/cycling instead. I cycled, because I know that my blading skills is non-existant. Long time never cycle le, quite shiok!

Poor Nick fell and dislocated his right shoulder while blading!! Called for ambulance, which took forever to come. Even when they reached they went to the wrong carpark. Lucky it wasn't really an emergency so it didn't really matter. He's alright now. TWO weeks MC somemore. SO LUCKY LA.

We were just returning our bikes and blades when it started raining. Heavily. Drenched like nobody's business. My white shorts became red because the color on my red t-shirt RAN. Anyway we decided to go derrick's house to change and have dinner.

His house is unbelievable. Not the biggest I have seen, but still humongous. His bed is so very comfortable! Incredible. Lucky boy. We bummed around until it was time to leave, with people having school tomorrow, or having to book in tomorrow, or worse, later at night.

Quite sad, now that I have to bear the reality of work for another week. BUT it was a fun sunday. =D

ESS is HERE.

What do YOU crave?

{/10:05 AM}

me

war

War of the Worlds.

3 Stars.

Should be 4 Stars, but minus one because I was watching it alone.

Again.

Darn I hate that.

People get on my nerves. Seriously. I'm quite done trying to understand them. So I'm settling for less understanding and more apathy.

My birthday verse spoke to me.

Do not envy wicked men, do not desire their company. -proverbs 24:1

Refreshing faith.

O God, press that F5 button in my heart.

{/11:06 PM}

me

wait

I hate blogging. When I don't blog it means I am having a good time, no complains, no depressing thoughts, generally getting along fine. And when I DO blog, it means there's something wrong.

I hate blogging because I always feel a lot but write very little. I can argue with people very fluently, but when it comes to penning my own thoughts, I am as hopeless as a sinner without Jesus.

University life starting soon for some people I know. Good luck to them all.

Dad is making use of every opportunity to "encourage" me to make better use of my extra-NS time. Not that I don't want to, but he'll never hear of me going SBC for night classes.

I'm depressed. What's new. Who knows, or cares? God does. Yea, but sometimes He takes one of those long vacations. Friends. They don't care. Try them. There's no point. Why? Because no one can do for me that which only God can. They may be able to help some. So? Give it a try. No way. Why? Too scary. Are you insecure? No. Then?

Then?

Often, it is things that you know you can't get that you so desparately want.

Wait.

I've waited long enough. Why should I have to wait anyway? Either give it to me, or just say it straight that it will be always beyond my reach.

Wait.

Shut up. I don't want to wait. It's driving me nuts.

Wait.

...

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. -2 Peter 3:9

...

Wait.

{/12:24 AM}

me