Cantabile XX went well. =)

I'm not going to dissect the concert song by song, or section by section, although I do have a lot of thoughts on them and learned a lot as well. We sang well, we enjoyed ourselves, that's all that matters. It's really different to be conducting rather than singing, though.

Thanks:

1. God, without Whom nothing is possible.

2. Tim, for all the preparations and organisation.

3. My alumni singers. All my seniors, super-seniors, batch-mates. To be making music together with you all is both my honour and pleasure. And of course, JOAN, for being the only singer from the 0405 batch!

4. The outgoing batch, for a job well done, far surpassing what we did 2 years ago! Wonderful committee, wonderful singers. Hoping to see all of you back for carolling and more!

5. The taking-over batch, for being the most lively, noisy and camera-loving bunch of singers I've met yet. We'll see each other soon for the HDB thing, and for carolling maybe. Who knows, maybe next year it will be your turn as guest singers for ASPECTS 07!

6. All the friends who came to support us. Always nice to see familiar faces. All I can say is, hopefully next year you guys will be on the stage instead of among the audiences! For those who wanted to come but couldn't, the thought is appreciated as well. =)

7. Christ, my Rock and Salvation.

i thank You God for most this amazing day.

(backdated 28 May 2006)

{/12:00 AM}

me

I miss Ash. I really do.

Right at this very moment, I wish she is here. She'll understand where I'm coming from. For reasons unknown to me we stopped talking since... End of last year? Sometime there.

Sigh.

I've come to realise that being older does not necessarily means being more mature.

I'm having a hell of a stressful time with the alumni now. I thought they would be easier to deal with than the kids. Oh boy am I wrong.

Is it so wrong for me to want a good performance?

I didn't even scold. I was on the verge of it many times but somehow I manage to hold back. I've already lowered my standards, why am I still being picked on?

Look at those guys standing at the back. Arms folded across the chest and leaning on one foot. Did I tell him off? No. Would I like to? You damn right I do. Half the guys have their mouths open so small you could not fit a grape in. And everytime I stop they turn to each other and talk.

I know probably half the guys are just there for the fun of it. The usual "my friends are here so I'm here". That's sad, but that's also reality. Timmo tells me I should not keep saying bad things about them or they will not want to sing next time anymore. So I'm suppose to keep them happy? If that's the way it is going to be I'll rather not be here anymore.

Talk about establishing the alumni choir. With this kind of attitude they have, nothing will be established.

20 plus years old adults and they can't handle a little criticism? I'm sorry, I'm not there to make you feel good about yourself.

Or do they resent me because I'm their junior? If any of them think they can do a better job, by all means, come tell me, I'll gladly hand over the baton.

/end rant.

I actually had a long, happy post about my Sunday thought out, but today really just spoilt my mood. So I'll just give a summary.

Visited Joan's church in the morning. Pretty much your normal charismatic church setting.

Saw HCV concert at VCH. Not bad.

Hung out with juniors. Ate, walked around, arcade, pool, secret recipe. Had fun. They are nice people all of them.

Sis drove me home.

Before I sign off, obligatory pitch for Cantab 06. 28May06 (this Sunday) 7:30pm @ ACS Barker Road Auditorium. $12/$18.

It probably won't be a fantastic concert, but maybe you'll like to come back to see old faces. Hah.

I just realise people who read this are mostly those singing, or those who already bought tickets. So that pitch was kinda unnecessary. Whatever.

{/11:20 PM}

me

Sometimes I think that God created women to frustrate men.

And all God-fearing men say, Amen!

By the way, I really feel like watching The Da Vince Code with a bunch of non-believers, so that I can interupt the movie every 2 minutes to point out all the factual errors. I think that will be fun. For me, that is. Probably not for the other movie goers.

I'm still trying to find my style of evangelising. Definately not the "feel-good" kind, though. I think controversies like Da Vince Code and Gospel of Judas etc presents a wonderful opportunity.

Oh ya, I need someone to learn Koine Greek with me. Any takers? Haha...

{/9:20 AM}

me

How does one go about being friends with somebody whom he doesn't see often, hardly knows as a person, and never seems to be free enough to talk for extended preiods of time online?

Somebody teach me.

So last Thursday afternoon, out of the blue, Qianjin messaged me. Uh oh, I thought, must be something about Hope (church). And I was right! First he asked me how come he doesn't see me in church anymore. Well, how does one officially "quit" from a church, anyway? "Hi guys, I'm not coming to this church anymore, bye ya'll!"? In any case I have wondered from time to time what Daniel told the rest about me not going to Hope anymore, or even if he has told anybody at all? Not saying that I think he's bad-mouthing me in front of them or anything, cause he certainly is not that sort. Just that, I don't really think he'll tell them exactly the reason(s) I had, or the little argument (debate?) we had.

So QJ asked me if I would go back to Hope. And I told him that Hope is not the church I'm looking for, and briefly cited several issues I had with is and evangelical new-age churches in general. He replied with something interesting, along the lines of Hope being the only church he ever knew and stuff, and asked me to consider going back, saying that if I had doctrinal issues I should "teach" the church and help it to "grow" instead of leaving.

Now I had indeed considered going back and "exposing" all the dubious teachings they had. But my experience with Daniel right before I left stopped me. If he was typical of the church leaders, then there is not much I can do going back.

It's amazing how I have not backslided (much) after being church-less for so long. Everyone seemed to be shocked when I tell them "I don't have a church", but can't really answer me when I asked them what's wrong with not having a church. I think it's a wonderful experience. Everyone should take a break from church from time to time.

One of the bigger issues I have with Hope and other evangelical new-age churches is their advocating of a "personal relationship with Jesus". I never understood that, although I didn't really began to see the wrong of it until I started reading and doing my own study, that is, gaining knowledge from outside the church. Just how is one suppose to have a "personal relationship with Jesus", exactly? He is God, I am man. He is Perfect, I am Fallen. Evangelical churches advertise Jesus as a personal friend, like those $2 per minute friend chatlines. Facing problems? Talk to Jesus! Feeling down? Talk to Jesus! Jesus is your bestfriend!

It felt weird and wrong to me from the start, and now I can confidently tell these evangelical Christians: Jesus is your God - The Holy, Just, Righteous, Infinite, God. It's called reverence; start showing some.

An excerpt from an article titled "Leading Christian Myths":

"The modern hymn calls Jesus a "friend" and some may appeal to a verse in John where Jesus calls his disciples "friends". But the understanding of the word is decontextualized. People of the time of the Bible did not "get to know" each other as modern persons in the West do. A "friend" meant a person who looked out for your practical interests -- not someone you had beer and watched football with.

Even some preachers today (I am thinking of John MacArthur, but there are others) have lamented the modern view of God as a "buddy" as detracting from God's holiness. The result has been numerous corrupt theologies which see God as one who dispenses wealth like a gumball machine, and whose voice is constantly in one's head, sometimes defeating sound practice and doctrine but sometimes even just giving advice on what house to buy or what have you. This myth is a common one perpetrated by some persons of influence listed below.

But really, even a more common view can be misleading. Many evangelists speak of a "personal relationship with Jesus". The phrase is used to mean something not too far from the "God is my buddy" idea, in essence meaning we can talk to Jesus any time, and so on. If I had to correct this, I would say that what is required of us is a patronal relationship with Jesus. The NT explains our relationship with God in terms of a client-patron relationship, one in which God, as a client, is remote; and Jesus, as a broker, mediates between ourselves and God. Then we do have the indwelling Holy Spirit as a broker as well; but though the Spirit supplies us with mediation and perhaps power, there is nothing to show that the Spirit is some sort of intimate conversation partner. And finally, since people of the ancient world seldom "got to know each other" personally (as is taken for granted in modern, Western society) there is no way that NT writers could have had an idea like a "personal relationship with Jesus" in mind in the first place -- not as we perceive it.

Ironically, the view of God as a remote patron is the one that is most conducive to the view concerned Christians like MacArthur wish to see us return to. Perhaps then we would see a greater respect for God and His holiness, and less obsession with self-fulfillment, ranging from best-selling books having titles like The Purpose-Driven Life to our most popular songs being titled, "I Can Only Imagine" (focus on experience, not on fact)."

So will I go back to Hope? I don't really see myself doing so. Perhaps for a visit from time to time.

And, just for the record, I had a terrible weekend.

{/9:26 AM}

me

Who's Your Type?

ChyeKeong, you're a Door!

Your type is the Girl Next Door

Cute, fun, and sweet, your ideal gal is just a stone's throw away — she's the Girl Next Door. She's Sandra Bullock, Doris Day, and Meg Ryan all rolled up into one. Naturally pretty rather than glamorous, she's unpretentious and generous. She loves animals and children, and is great with both. You're attracted to her strong values and traditional ways. Although she demands a lot of respect, she's not particularly high-maintenance. Her ideal date is more likely to be dinner and a movie than heading out for a night on the town. She's careful yet spontaneous — a little bit of the Guy's Girl, a smidge of Sorority Sister (the nice kind), and just a hint of the Hippie Chick. But she's got an appeal that's all her own, which is why you can't stay away. Her winning smile, bright eyes, and loving nature make you want to hold on tight and never let go.

What type are you? Find out!

{/11:05 PM}

me

I have a crush on someone, and I'm absolutely hating the feeling.

Sure, it's somewhat nice. Your heart flutters, you feel warm and fuzzy inside, you keep stealing glances her way hoping she'll look back at the right moment. You observe her every movement and notice everything that is the same and different about her.

But then you also realise that you are really wasting your time, that you and her are so different that nothing will ever come out of it.

Blah.

So we had our very first, proper, alumni choir practice last Friday. Surprising turnout of I think 16 people. Pretty good for a first practice, I say. I feel young again among them, most of whom are older than me, haha! We don't sound too bad, so that's a relief!

It's really nice to see people coming back to sing again. Sometimes it's rather disappointing, that some people that you expect to see coming back, people that seemed to be so enthusiastic and interested in joining in the past (I'll not name names) turn out to be not really that interested after all. So to each and every one who is back for Cantab 06, a big THANK YOU to you all for your committment and passion!

Well, as Timmo has said, one is only young once. While I don't think I am that old yet, the Verona trip has really made me realise that I am getting older by the day. Seeing those bubbly kids with limitless energy made me feel slightly inadequate myself. But I'm also thankful for them, an extremely enjoyable bunch of people to be around. Hopefully I'll not be too old 2 years later, because I really want to go back to the Choir Olympics and get a Gold there! Then again, 2 years later there'll be a completely new batch of people in NJChoir. I just hope to see more alumni members joining the choir for overseas competition in the future. Really, it was an experienced not to be missed.

I wonder how many of the current year twos will I see back for carolling this year, and how many of them will stay on for Cantab 07.

{/1:21 PM}

me

Nothing much to update about, really.

As you can see the post on Verona 2006 is still not up yet. That's because I haven't gotten the photos from Timmo yet!

I'm regretting a bit for not bringing my video camera there. Sigh. I also regret not using my own camera. Now I probably won't get to see all the pictures I took with other people using their camera! Sad.

They cancelled last Friday's practice. That was a bit disappointing. Never mind, I shall go on tuesday, using the excuse of returning my blazer and tie, but really just wanting to see everyone again, haha.

Saturday and today was spent lazing at home. Nothing productive. Eh, my life needs some fixing.

Tomorrow looks to be a lazy day as well. Enjoy the Labour Day break, ya'll.

{/1:07 AM}

me