let it shine..

Exerpt

2008-08-17T01:52:00.001+08:00

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It is far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the true worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.

2007-05-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

Dr Fabian asked me, "Where's your girlfriend?"

I said, "She's not, I'm not that lucky."

And he said, "Keep trying."

And I said, "I'm tired."

And he said, "It'll be worth it."

2007-05-12T01:01:00.000+08:00

A lot has happened since I last blogged.

But I can't seem to remember much.

Watched Phantom of the Opera. It was good.

NJChoir got Gold with Honours. Well done and they totally deserved it.

Miss Lim is thinking of starting a choir. I hope it happens soon.

2007-04-25T21:47:00.000+08:00

Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging for Choirs for Secondary Schools has officially ended.

This year I have considerable interest in the Secondary Schools' competition. While I was still a student, the then Chinese High School had no choir, so I didn't really care about how the secondary schools did then. This year is different though. I helped coached both Chinese High and Anderson Secondary, so I had SOME stake in the competitions.

Miss Lim was nice enough to secure me "Instructor" passes, so I was basically there for the whole duration of the competition, together with Cherie and sometimes Krystal.

...

Ok, I cannot stand keeping it in anymore.

...

ANDERSON GOT GOLD WITH HONOURS!

WOOT! Congrats to Lao Niang! Well of course, me and Cherie had a little contribution. Haha! I am really happy for them. It was quite a nervous time waiting for the results with Ms Yeo and Yee Cheng and Cherie. I'm so proud of them! They sang really well that day. =)

And I thought things couldn't get any better.

But...

CHINESE HIGH GOT GOLD!

Wow! That was like, completely unexpected! For a first-time choir, where they had around 10 members 6 months ago, it's quite unbelievable that they managed to get Gold. Mr Yong and Miss Lim both super happy. I was too shocked to feel anything. I thought it was perhaps a good enough for Silver. But the results were announced and when I heard "Hwa Chong Institution, Gold", my jaw literally dropped. Lol. Damn happy for them too. And, again, me and Ern Theng made a little contribution. =)

Here are the more significant results:

Gold with Honours:

1) Catholic High School (Kwei)
2) Dunmen Secondary School (Toh)
3) River Valley High School (Tham)
4) Anderson Secondary School (Lim)
5) Tanjong Katong Secondary School (Kwei)
6) Anglican High School (Terrence)
7) Tanjong Katong Girls School (Lim)
8) Raffles Girls School (Anna Loo)
9) St Nicholas Girls School (Lim)
10) Nanyang Girls High School (Lim)

I guess Miss Lim wins! =)

Gold:

1) Victoria School
2) Holy Innocent Secondary School
3) Fairfield Methodist Secondary School
4) Xinmin Secondary School
5) Chung Cheng High School (Main)
6) Bedok South Secondary School
7) Raffles Institution
8) Commonwealth Secondary School
9) Singapore Chinese Girls School
10) Nan Chiau Secondary School
11) Pasir Ris Secondary School
12) Cedar Girls Secondary School
13) CHIJ Toa Payoh
14) Methodist Girls School
15) St Gabriel Secondary School
16) Hwa Chong Institution (High School)

Well, it has been fun watching the competition. Looking forward to the JC one!

2007-04-15T01:10:00.000+08:00

I guess I should stop feeling sorry for myself.

I hate self-pitying people anyway, so I shall not commit that error myself.

I mean, shit happens, right. I'm sure every single day there are countless other guys out there being rejected. I just happen to be one of them. No big deal.

And isn't love supposed to be selfless? Isn't it suppose to be about her best interest? Isn't it about giving despite not receiving?

It's hard, no doubt. I didn't know I could feel like this. It's hard because she sees me as nothing more than a friend. It's hard because I have to stand by and watch her suffer being bullied and there's nothing I can do.

I guess I invested my feelings too early, too much. I thought she felt something for me. I thought there was a chance, so I took it. Guess not.

What's worse is since she has pretty much been the only one I've been talking to all these while, now that things are this way between us I have no one else to turn to. I'm troubled, sad, miserable, confused and conflicted, and I have nobody to tell.

Ah crap.

Well, it was fun teaching Anderson Secondary and TCHS, I suppose. Anderson more than TCHS. Haha. The difference is numbers. With Anderson every week I go I get to see the Tenors and Basses of a choir that is of considerable size, and then I get to do combine with everyone too, so it feels like I'm actually fulfilling an instructor's role instead of merely being a glorified SL. But with TCHS, I see somewhere around 10 Tenors every week, occasionally see some Baritones, and never the basses at all.

Also, not to mention, the TCHS boys are... Difficult. In terms of caliber, but in terms of attitude as well. Every time I try to teach some singing technique, or some principle or another, without fail there will be 2 or 3 boys rolling their eyes, going "Yeah, right...". I mean, duh?

Well SYF's starting next week so I guess that's the end of my "career". I'll most likely be watching all the secondary school competing seeing as Miss Lim has gotten me an instructor's pass. I'll probably die of boredom listening to "Everyone Sang" so many times. But I'll probably have fun too giving grades and seeing how accurate I am.

Hopefully I'll get a pass for the JC competition too. I mean, that's where all the real action is, anyway. NJ has a good chance of honours this year, I think. Hopefully they won't disappoint.

What I am dreading is the alumni and Cantab. I don't really work well with them, and we don't really see eye to eye on many things. The way things are going is just not what I have in mind. The only reason I'm still sticking around is because I'm hoping to go overseas again next year, provided Miss Lim and the teachers manage to find a festival that is between the May-July period. I just want to sing in a proper choir again. And win. Haha.

Well the outgoing year 2s are a rather nice bunch...mostly. So hopefully they will join the alumni and tag along next year for the competition too. I guess it's too much to hope for people like Honseng, CY, Sher, etc.. to go.

Now I shall go play Starcraft. Bye.

2007-04-08T17:26:00.000+08:00

Seek not to be consoled, but to console;

Not to be understood, but to understand;

Not to be loved, but to love.

2007-04-08T03:21:00.000+08:00

Oh, it hurts alright.

Why else would I spend the day sleeping?

There are many advantages, being asleep, as compared to being awake. You don't feel the pain. You don't feel the sorrow. You can avoid thinking about the complicated things. You can put off making a decision.

There are the dreams, of course. But at least you know that the dreams are not real.

The pain's real.

I knew it would come down to this, but that doesn't make things hurt any less, does it.

In the end I'm still not good enough, no matter what I do.

Every decision I make from now onwards will hurt. There isn't an option left open for me that does not hurt in one way or another. I wish I can be selfish but I can't.

What's best for me? No.

What's best for you.

You.

2007-04-06T17:23:00.000+08:00

Let's look at the pros and cons.

Pros:

1. We'll be less troubled. Or at least, I will be, I think.
2. I will no longer feel stupid.
3. I will be free to place my heart at the feet of another.
4. I won't torture myself fantasizing about what may be anymore.
5. I won't keep trying to fool myself into thinking there's a possibility.

Cons:

1. I will lose a friend. Or at least things won't be like they are now.
2. I will be sad for, like, 5 years.
3. I'll be bored from now till August. And probably long after that too.
4. I will be forever tormented by "what if".
5. I won't be able to forgive myself if she's hurt.

Other factors:

1. I really like the way things are now. At the same time I really hate it. I think the word here is "complicated".
2. I'm a better guy than him. Not saying I'm great (not even close), but I'm better than him at the least.

What am I to do?

I see 3 choices:

1. Stay and let everything be the same, let nature take its course.
2. Fight. And hope for the best.
3. Run.

At the moment, none of the options look even remotely appealing.

I wished I had a straight answer. Saying "I'm not ready for it yet" is just inviting me to consider even the slightest possibility.

Okay. Rant over. I'm going to sleep.

2007-03-24T00:59:00.000+08:00

Cowabunga!

Watched TMNT!! Quite nice, I quite enjoyed the show.

I wished they had played the theme song though! You know, the one from the cartoons. They probably did in the beginning, but too bad I missed a little bit of the starting, all thanks to the super long queue at the ticket booth! Bah.

I liked the animation. I thought the turtle shells were a little too small though. Too longish. And Splinter looked more like a wolf than a rat. And since when did April became a ninja-chick?

I wished they gave more personality to Donatello though. Like, Leonardo is this wise leader, calm and strong, and Raphael has his anger-rage-emo angsty thing going on, and Michelangelo is his party-animal, pizza-loving self, and Donatello is... What? What happened to the tech whiz??

Really want to THANK the person who watched it with me, despite being tired, overworked, and having cramps. And having to find an excuse to go out so late at night.

Thanks for always going out with me. I don't know where I'll be without you. You make me happier than anyone else is capable of. =)

Finally got my paycheck from Mr Yong! It's with Cherie now, so I have no idea how much it is, but who cares!

2007-03-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

If anyone sees me now, they will say me a fool.

A fool I may be, but at least I'm happy. =)

Study outing turned movie date. Music and Lyrics is a nice show! Funny, and obviously romantic. I mean, how can it get anymore romantic than a guy playing and singing a song he wrote to win the girl he loves?

Don't Write Me Off
Huge Grant

It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually something on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines

Since I met you my whole life has changed
It's not just my furniture you've rearranged
I was living in the past but somehow you brought me back
And I haven't felt like this since before Frankie said relax

And I know based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you is
Don't write me off just yet

For years I've been telling myself the same old story
That I'm happy to live off my so called former glories
But you've given me a reason to take another chance
And now I need you despite the fact that you've killed all my plants

And though I know I've blown more chances
Than anyone should ever get
All I'm asking you is
Don't write me off just yet
Don't write me off just yet

2007-03-11T01:20:00.000+08:00

300 is a good movie.

It could have done without the sex, though. And the half-naked oracle.

I mean, the sex wasn't really necessary to move the plot or anything, and it wasn't like 300 had the strongest plot.

"Hey honey, what's wrong? Come to bed!"

"I'm going off to fight a half-million strong army tomorrow with 300 people, so forgive me if I can't sleep."

"Awww, it's okay! Let's have sex."

=_=

And the oracle? Hello? Aren't oracles supposed to be old, frail, haggard women hunching over their walking sticks, with one eye and a crooked nose, and speak in rhymes?

Instead we have a young nubile girl in a transparent gown gyrating on the floor like she's having a sexual high.

It's just unnecessary. I suspect it's just included to attract the boys. Haha!

HonSeng will probably want to watch it now, if he hadn't already. LOL!

The fight scenes were pretty good though. All the 300 Spartans have like 8 pack abs. By rights my date should be squealing in delight at a screen full of men with power abs and wearing helmet and loincloth. But somehow that didn't happen. Hmm..

Could have had more decapitating. There were only 2 I think. And the odd severed limb here and there. The blood looked fake, probably because it was CGed. In fact, everything was CGed except the horses.

Man, I wanted to see Leonidas 1v1 the abom!

Xerxes looked pretty cool though. But the way he speaks, I could catch maybe a quarter of it all. I think the gods usually speak with more clarity than that!

The arrows scene was cool. Fight in the shade, lol!

Okay, so I left alumni practice to watch 300 with someone I like.

It's not like the practice wasn't what I expected it to be. Let's see. Late comers? Check. Less than 10 people? Check. Nothing prepared? Check. People generally wanting to sit and slack instead of practice? Check and check.

Sick of it, really.

They don't like the songs I've chosen, they can go ahead and choose whatever they like. I don't care, I'm not the one singing anyway. Worse come to worse, I'll even tell them, no thanks, I don't feel like conducting you all. Let Cherie have her fun with them! Hah!

I don't think the situation will improve anytime soon. Meanwhile, I could care less if we ended up not singing for Cantab after all.

Today, the most exciting thing I did was to play Snakes on my phone from Level 1 all the way to Level 36.

Tomorrow, the most exciting thing I'll do is probably play Word Search in Sunday times, and play Snakes on my phone from Level 1 all the way to Level 36 with my toes.

2007-03-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

I think my Father was right.

Last July, when he was the only one who wanted to buy a car (then, for my sis), and all of us were against it, I thought it was dumb. I saw it as an unnecessary waste of money. He said, you'll see, you all will be fighting over the car soon. I said, yeah, right.

Now, I can honestly say that I don't think I can do without the car.

And, it IS great to be able to drive around. So much more convenient. How else do I get to pick up and send home a pretty lady? =)

Anyway, the petrol cost is just killing me now.

And washing the car, that's another bad side effect.

Going to watch 300 tomorrow! I hope it's good!

I don't really have very high standards when it comes to movies. Most shows I've seen are alright with me. There's the occasional few that I really like, but there really isn't anything that I intensely disliked, or felt was immensely bad. I'm quite easy going when it comes to movies.

Watched Pursuit of Happyness last week. I thought it was a rather good show. Will Smith delivered good acting, the plot was good, although the pace was a little slow at some points, and his son is just cute.

I have been seeing a certain someone rather often lately, and I am enjoying it.

=)

2007-03-04T01:32:00.000+08:00

Went to ECP again today.

My, Bishi has growned.

The last I saw her was 3 years ago, when she was just a Sec 1 kid, I think. Sec 4 now, a big girl already.

Still remember when we first met at Genting. I was J1, the choir was at Genting as guest performers for the competition, and she was with PCPS choir (my alma mater) who was competing.

It was just weird. Nothing linked the 2 of us (me and Sher) to her, except that we were from PCPS choir, and now she is. For us, it was like, hey, look, there's our old choir, let's go talk to the teachers.

But, somehow, we got stuck with her. Or she with us. We ended up exchanging numbers, bringing her around with special permission from her teachers in charge, and basically adopted her as a kid sister.

The weird thing is I never expected the relationship to last. The age difference was too big, and the novelty soon wore off, for me at least. And, indeed, things did turn out to proof me right, or at least half-right. Another girl her age who was also stuck with us soon fell off the radar. So I kinda expected her to do the same. Oh, there was the obligatory meet-up after we're back in SG, then there was the Christmas party at Sher's place, then a piano recital, and frankly I thought things would end right there.

But she's a special kid, that one.

She hung on. She tried, where I never did. I feel ashamed of myself for this.

I've decided to give it a try. The 5-year age difference seems smaller now.

Anyway ECP was great fun. Great, tiring fun. Great, tiring, PAINFUL fun. Man, 2 hours on a bike can really do something to one's butt, especially if one's butt is as meat-less as mine.

Well, you can't really describe fun, can you? Words often fail me when it comes to feelings, anyway. Suffice to say it had been a great day. Good to see Sher too, that busy woman.

Hmm.. I guess the promise to blog more isn't really working out, is it?

I'm just lazy.

=p

2007-02-26T00:28:00.000+08:00

How can I blog when the only thing I care about, I can't write about?

2007-02-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

I didn't exactly had a normal CNY this year. Last few years, it was pretty much the same, visiting the same people and doing the same stuff.

This year was a little different though. I can't really elaborate, but it wasn't quite as normal as previous years. For one, I think I spent the least amount of time this year with my family during the season. For another, I actually won gambling! Not that I played a lot this year. Hah.

Even though events that happened these past few days were because of someone else, I think I learnt a lot about myself in the process too. Discovered a few things in me that I didn't know was there.

My sis is back from the States for another few more days to go. It wasn't really a dramatic reunion, mainly because of the very frequent calls and MSN chats, so we didn't really miss her all that much. She'll be flying back again this Sunday. Pretty short holiday, but I guess it was worth it for her, especially seeing the relatives again (not all of them, I'm sure. HAH).

I missed the Alumni meeting. Can't say I really tried very hard to turn up though. I won't be too surprised or too upset if our Cantabile item doesn't fall through this year. Somehow I feel more exhausted and less enthusiastic about the whole thing than last year. Probably because I don't like those juniors all that much, and they are probably going to become the bulk of the singers.

I almost lost it with the Chinese High boys today, but some of them really had it coming. You would think the small secondary one boys would be naughty and stuff, but surprisingly it was the secondary threes and fours that were rowdy and hard to control. I wasn't in a particularly good mood to begin with, and they just had to piss me off.

Went back to the gym today after ending the session with the Chinese High boys on an impulsive, spur-of-the-moment feeling. I guess I was guided by my sub-conscious. Surprisingly my coach still remembered me! Even my name! Even more surprisingly, a couple of juniors recognised me and ALSO remembered my name. I feel guilty not remembering them. >_<

It was quite therapeutic to be jumping on the trampoline again. After so long I surprised myself that I could still do the moves, although it was really unstable and ugly and I was quite scared jumping. But it really helped cleared my mind, jumping up and down, takes my mind off things for awhile. Felt better after that..

Watched Epic Movie and Norbit since I last blogged. Sure, they were both lame movies, but it was nice too, because sometimes even dumb, brainless, and somewhat funny movies are enjoyable, but really it was mainly because the company was enjoyable. HAH!

I predict my ang bao money will be all gone by the end of the month.

2007-02-15T00:45:00.000+08:00

Haven't posted in a while, I know.

I wonder who still comes here in spite of that... If you happen to read this please drop me a line.

This post isn't spontaneously inspired by some significant event or happening, so if that's what you're expecting, let me disappoint you in advanced.

That said, I think I need to get back into the habit of writing, of putting my thoughts onto paper, even a virtual one. Graduating from army and not having a job tends to have the effect of lulling one's mind (in a negative sense), which I think is seriously detrimental to my ability to cope with schoolwork once again, when my NUS term starts.

Not exactly not working, of course. I more or less spend most of my time in choir these days. Originally I was roped in to help with NJ, but soon it became apparent that they don't need much of it at all, so I was just there as a half-consultant, half-critique, full-supporter.

Apart from visiting NJ choir rather regularly, I am also coaching (if that's the right word for what I do) the Chinese High boys and the Anderson Secondary kids. Basically, I do with them whatever Mr Yong and Ai Hooi tells me to do. En Ting (that's Hanyu Pinyin; I can't remember how to spell his English name) is helping with Chinese High as well, as Cherie is helping with Anderson too.

Well the Chinese High boys frustrate me sometimes, mostly because I am largely used to a rather higher standard of choral singing. This is not in anyway belittling them, of course; in fact I think they are having a commendable beginning as a newbie choir. Large credit goes to Mr Yong, who is a superb choral director. But I am not used to TBB singing, and granted they are not fantastic, and them being boys tend to be slightly on the naughty side. Supposedly Mr Yong is paying me, but that hasn't happened yet, and I don't really feel inclined to "chase" him for it.

Anderson is much more enjoyable, although I spent less time with them than I have with Chinese High. Several factors: they're SATB, which I'm used to. They're of a higher standard, which makes things a lot easier (teaching wise) and also, more enjoyable. And, they are more behaved. Perhaps the presence of girls have a instilled a positive, I-must-not-be-too-rowdy-in-front-of-girls mentality on the guys.

As all well know I am not a very people person. I still can't remember most of the names of the Chinese High boys, although I think I can recognise their faces okay, in large due to the fact that they are an extremely small choir. Anderson is another matter altogether. I can recognise maybe a quarter of their faces, mostly the guys. Names-wise, forget it.

I do hope I can get to know the people in the 2 choirs better though. Having spent some time with them, and foreseeing more (probably up to the SYF period), I think one would wish to take away at least something other than "I once coached them in choral singing".

In the midst of all that I turned 21. I'm glad my friends turned up for my little dinner party; I almost decided not to invite them. Already I missed the 21st birthday 3 03S20 classmates, and 1 other classmate from my, believe it or not, primary school class. Zhiwei's I missed because, well, he didn't invite me to any party. The other 2 I missed because they spread the news using my old hotmail account, which I seldom check (in favour of Gmail), so when I got the news it was too late. And I didn't turn up for my primary classmate's because, well, frankly I don't really see the point of going. I mean, honestly, after not being in contact for so long, I'm suppose to turn up and what, pretend that we're friends? I hardly know them!

Well I hope to be there for at least the rest of my 03S20's parties. At least I know them better. But then again, I practically have had no contact with them since graduation. Oh, there were the occasional MSN chats, and that one class gathering that I knew of. There were times, of course, that I had considered making more of an effort to keep in contact, like when I see Evan or Serene online, or thought of calling Zhiwei out and just catch up. I don't know Tingshu's situation, but I guess it's easier for the girls to stay together, and Zhiwei with them because of Jin.

My spiritual life isn't doing too well at the moment, to be honest. It doesn't help that most, in fact all of my close friends are not Christians, so no help there. And, of course, I am no longer in Hope. It's amazing how those so-called "friends" disappear so quickly. When I was still in Hope they were friendly and warm and enthusiastic and all buddy-buddy. The moment I disagreed with them? Wham bam, thank you sir, hope not to see you again.

I'm pretty much saddened everytime I think of them. No, not because I have lost some people whom I might have become good friends with had I stayed, but because I'm pretty much certain that they've got almost everything wrong about their Faith. I do not say that with condecendingness or pride, but with the conviction of truth on my side. Go ahead, pick your favourite Charismatic-Evangelical teaching, and watch me rip it to shreds. None of them have the guts, nor, I suspect, the knowledge. That's what feel-good theology does to you, ladies and gentlemen.

Man, thinking about them gets my nerves up. It's not that they practice bad theology that bothers me; I think other than the very basics, nothing much else is of any import, at least soteriologically speaking. It's the lethal combination of being Charismatic AND Evangelical that's the problem.

I don't have a problem with Calvinists. I think they are wrong, but at least they don't spread like wildfire.

The problem with Charismatic-Evangelicals, is that they give us Christians (Catholically speaking) a very bad name.

Here's a quickie list off the top of my head:

1) Jesus-is-my-friend. This can't be further away from the truth.

2) Let's ignore 2000 years of Church history! Right.

3) Feel-good sermons. Urgh.

4) Bad exegesis. You see it everywhere, most prominently from the Pastors during sermon, and also sometimes from the "leaders" that think they know enough to do a Bible study with their caregroup after reading "A Purpose Driven Life".

5) Speaking in tongues. Self-explanatory. (That is, speaking in tongues as it is applied in such Charismatic-Evangelical churches.)

6) Low Christology. See (1).

7) A generally post-modernistic outlook towards theology, that is, an unusually large credit given to personal interpretation. When you try to raise theologically issues with them, or question their held beliefs, more often than not you'll get thrown "It's okay, it's okay, just love God."

8) The belief that God is their own personal PDA. I cringe everytime someone says or blogs "I prayed and my bus came! Amen!", or "I prayed and it didn't rain today, Amen!", or "I passed my test! Amen!". =_=

9) The large emphasis given to evangelism. I guess you don't call them Evangelicals for nothing.

10) Mega-church mentality. Numbers, numbers, numbers. Convert as many as you can, don't bother about teaching them the correct things!

And that's just off the top of my head.

I can't recount how many times while having a Christianity related conversation with a non-believer that I had to actually DEFEND such rubbish as speaking in tongues the way they do. ARGH.

I'm starting to lean towards the Eastern Orthodox thinking. It's kinda hard, as there is no one to throw ideas around with. Exploring on one's own is tough.

I guess I should sleep now.

Oh, happy Valentine's day.

2006-11-27T10:22:00.000+08:00

M-Pact was well worth the $34.

Our seats turned out to be occupied by the sound tech guys, so we ended up sitting closer to the stage at the side.

Anyway it was a fantastic show! The guys were smooth and extremely talented, individually and collectively. I liked how every member got plenty of opportunities to show their stuff; plenty of solo riffs and ad libs. It kinda got a little boring near the end. I mean, one can only be impressed by Britt's super-duper high half-falsetto beltings so many times, although, I must stress, that it was very, very impressive.

NaNu and Tic-Tac-Tone wasn't too bad, but standing next to the perfect sounding sextet, I don't think any local group can avoid paling in comparison.

Bought their Christmas CD. I'm broke now.

Oh, btw, Saw III sucked. I'm glad it was R21 and, as such, I was prevented from spending $9.50 on it.

Countdown - 22 working days..

2006-11-09T14:32:00.000+08:00

50 days to ORD.

Make that ROD, as I don't think I'll be liable for anymore National Service.

As the day approaches, my workload in the office gets considerably less, and so it becomes inevitable that I should be spending much of my time trying to figure out just what the hell I have achieved in this (almost) 2 years of National Service.

One often hear guys complaining about serving NS. It's unavoidable; in fact it can be considered something that bonds guys of this age group together, the let's-get-together-and-bash-NS mentality. All the whining aside, though, I didn't really enjoy my NS times, but neither do I detest it much. Quite ambivalent, I would say. I haven't made any great friends here, less one or two (maybe three). I'm getting quite used to that, by the way; I know for a fact that most of the people in my office dislike me or think I have attitude problem, regulars and NSFs included. It used to bother me, and I used to wonder what exactly is the problem with me. Then I realised that I was not the problem: everyone else is.

Can you blame me? The cliche is only cliche because it's true: guys in NS have limited mental capacity, and their thoughts never stray far from the following few topics: Soccer, cars, gambling, gaming, girls, sex. There are exceptions, of course; they are the ones I'm friends with.

The regulars themselves are problematic. I think it is common perception among NSFs that most regulars, for the lack of a more elegant word, sucks, at their job. All the top people aside, the rest are, simply put, unqualified. Of course, the environment is such that it doesn't pay to disagree with your bosses, so most of us end up exasperated.

NS aside, though, my last 2 years have been quite uneventful and, to tell the truth, wasted. I lost a really good friend, one that I thought I would be friends with for a long long time. Drifted away pretty much completely with another, and also, to a lesser extent, other used-to-be close friends and classmates. I haven't made any new friends besides the occasional choir junior. I haven't learnt any new skills. My spiritual life is in a mess. Everything just seems to be standing still.

Sigh. This has turned out to be quite a saddening post, hasn't it.

OK, happy stuff.

Let's see...

I don't have work tomorrow.

Weekend coming!

My new books should be arriving soon.

My scores and CD should also be arriving soon.

Christmas is soon. Presents!

Sis is coming back soon!

Bye! =)

2006-11-07T13:50:00.000+08:00

I couldn't get to sleep last night so I spent the time looking all over my house for my choir scores.

Yes, my scores are all over the place. Under the bed. In various cupboards. On my organ. Next to the computer. Under the sofa. Behind the TV. In various bags and files. Literally EVERYWHERE.

It was nice. Brought back many memories as I went through all the scores. From SYF 2003 to Genting 2003 to Cantab 2004 to Bremen 2004 Carolling 2004 to SYF 2005 to Carolling 2005 to Cantab 2006 to Verona 2006.

And lo and behold. I have missing scores. So to my choir friends reading this:

1. Impressions (SYF 2003)
2. Over the Rainbow (SYF 2003)
3. Voyage of Songs (Genting 2003)
4. Blue (Genting 2003)
5. Frogs in the Rain (Bremen 2004)
6. Dayong Sampan (Bremen 2004)
7. Mikyo no Kushi (SYF 2005)
8. Sunset (SYF 2005)
9. Yun Fei Tian Bu Dong (Cantab 2006)
10. Double Trouble (Current J1s)
11. Kodomo (Current J1s)
12. Kyrie?? (Current J1s)
13. Ave Maris Stella?? (Current J1s)
14. Commissioned Jap song (Current J1s)

I think that's all for now. If anyone reading this has any of the above, please contact me and zap me a copy! Many thanks in advanced! =)

Plato and DaVinci's Notebook

2006-10-30T15:13:00.000+08:00

Have you heard the latest episode of The Acapodcast?

At the very least, listen to the first track in the latest episode, a wonderful number by DaVinci's Notebook. Besides being amazing music, it is also damn funny.

Also, check out this video. Warning: Mature content in lyrics.

Seriously, man, listening and watching this kind of stuff always makes me want to sing a cappella. If only I can arrange half as well. Oh wells.

I recently came across an interesting article on the Euthyphro Dilemma, by a particular forum member of a particular forum I visit regularly.

Euthyphro, as you may know, is one of Plato's many dialogues. I was aware of the general idea of the work, but had never read it in full. Apparently it is available in Wiki, so here it is; it isn't terribly long, but quite brilliant as you may expect from Plato.

The gist of the matter is, as you may have guessed by now, translated into modern monotheistic terms, "Is what is moral commanded by God because it is moral, or is it moral because it's commanded by God?". This present a problem for Christian thought because if what is moral is only so because it is commanded by God, that hardly seems fair and, indeed, sounds very much like tyranny, while the alternative, that God commands that which is moral, begs the question of exactly what moral basis God is referring to when making that choice. Now at first glance it seems to be almost too perfect. Socrates seems to have Euthyphro soundly beaten! There goes the theistic basis for morality!

But wait! A closer examination of the argument presented by Socrates (Plato) enables one to poke many logical holes in his argument, as presented by this essay.

Facinating. Well, at least I think it is.

Departing from the realm of Philosophy, is anyone going for the Rockapella concert? I can't seem to find anyone interested in going with me. Also, the Swingle Singers are coming to town this December!

LFM A Cappella concerts pst.

2006-10-03T10:56:00.000+08:00

cher: I would LOVE to visit you in London. Maybe I'll save up enough to go. =)

yh: If you're talking about iMoo it's beside my pillow on my bed =p

---

I had Mac breakfast today. One of the relatively new guys posted to my unit was late for the morning brief, so he was jokingly commanded to buy breakfast for us, and someone jokingly quipped that he wants Mac Big Breakfast. And lo and behold, today he comes to work with 2 big boxes of assorted Mac breakfast! Man, he's got some deep pockets (drives a merc to work). It was very appreciated. A proper breakfast, for once.

Random thought: Why is it that every med student I know at some point of time will have as their MSN display name latin words of various parts of the human anatomy? Newsflash: We don't care if you can name all 216 bones in reverse-alphabetical order.

I'm in an ORD-mood right now. 3 more months baby!

One of the guys in my unit has secured a teaching position in HCI after he ORDs, teaching Chemistry to JC1s. Hopefully I will be able to do the same. Will be talking to teachers about that soon, hopefully Chemistry or Maths for JC1, or, if not, IP. Not sure if there's any difference though, in how NJC and HCI operates, given that my school is not an independent one. $65 a day is too good to pass up, and teaching has been my on-and-off passion. I was, after all, an MOE scholar for 2 years.

And, I really do not want to get stuck with an administrative job after 2 years of that in NS.

---

Came across an interesting article. Here's an exerpt:

"A Christian man struggles to maintain sexual purity in a culture that says he's crazy. (Once when I told co-workers that my wife and I waited till after marriage, they looked at me as if I'd just gotten off the shuttle from Pluto.) In a common scenario, an unmarried Christian man knows he could have sex with many women, but he withholds and endeavors to wait. He fights back temptation after temptation to please God and to give his future wife the gift of sexual purity. Then at last he marries and crosses the finish line, yet instead of fabulous banquets, he gets frozen dinners for years to come. Such men will tell you they feel robbed, resentful, victims of false advertising."

And here is a forum post in discussion of the above:

"Yes. You wait. Yes. It can be hard. Yes. There are times you want the rules to change, but geez. If God gives us these rules, do you think it's to hinder our joy or increase our joy? I would say seeing as God is all about joy, it would definitely be to increase our joy?"

"Does this mean that there are times that I see a beautiful lady and just sigh and want to say "How long O Lord? How long?" Absolutely. I don't cease to have hormones just because I'm a Christian and I don't think God takes away your hormones or desires until you say "I do." (This is one reason upon moving out I've taken a personal vow to not have a girl alone with me in my apartment.)"

"What is there to gain from sex outside of marriage? A moment of pleasure? Is that moment of pleasure worth it in the long run? Now let's suppose my theology is all wrong and when I get to Heaven I found out it would have been okay. I don't think I will at all, but I don't think you can have regrets in Heaven. I think I'd be thankful for the awesome time I did have with my wife."

"My approach at the point is that the human female form is simply the most beautiful form that there is. I am entirely unworthy at this point of beholding that form in all of its glory, let alone uniting with that form. Of course, I desire to see that form, but I am not worthy of it, and when it comes, I want it to be with a lady I've already established a covenant with so that she knows I'll be there and I know she'll be there and when we wake up the morning after, we'll know we can look over and see each other."

"One final point I'd like to stress. I think we treat sex too seriously also. We are tempted to sleep with someone beforehand to see if we're sexually compatible. Dude. If you have all the Y parts and she has all the X parts, you're compatible. Your marriage will not stand or fall on sex. If sex is the foundation for your marriage and the main reason you get married, you have a flimsy foundation and reason."

"Sex is a kind of spice to the marriage. It adds more pizzazz of the recipe of the one man and the one woman coming together. The company of the lady would be awesome enough as it is, but getting to be so intimate with her and literally enter into her and have her trust you entirely and you trust her only deepens things. I think a good marriage will consist of good sex, but "good sex" does not equal a good marriage."

"Instead, the main reason from what I understand couples break up over is financial reasons, yet for all this talk, when was the last time couples tried to see if they were financially compatible? When was the last time they tried to see if their in-laws were compatible? No. For some reason, sex takes the front seat."

"In a Christian marriage, you know God takes the front seat. I would see if you're compatible in faith first and then in other areas and know that if you do love each other and trust each other, you will be compatible in sex, and it will be awesome."

"And I do say that definitely looking forward to the awesomeness, but realizing as awesome as it is, that the great treasure is not the lady's function sexually, but the lady herself."

Something to think about.

2006-09-26T23:12:00.000+08:00

2 Saturdays ago I watched "The Devil Wears Prada" with Fel.

Last Friday I watched "The Banquet" with my mom and sister.

Last Saturday I watched "Gigolo Wanabe" with Sher, Honseng and Aud.

Nothing, just felt like writing that down.

Her Sacred Spirit Soars

2006-09-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

Eric Whitacre
For double chorus a cappella
Text by Charles Anthony Silvestri

Her sacred spirit soars o'er gilded spires,
And breathes into creative fires a force;
In well-tuned chants and chords of countless choirs,
Lives ever her immortal shadowed source.
From age to age the roll of poets grows;
And yet, a lonely few are laurel-crowned,
In whose sweet words her inspiration shows,
Revealing insights deep and thoughts profound.
O shall Cecelia, or shall Goddess Muse
Reach then to me across eternal skies?
Is heavens quickning fire but a ruse,
Abiding rather here before mine eyes?
Nearer than I dream'd is She whose fame
All poets sing, whose glory all proclaim:
LONG LIVE FAIR ORIANA!

A brilliant work. Note the acrostic...

If you haven't heard this before, I suggest you head here and grab it, as sung by Polyphony.

Imagine NJChoir and NJAlumniChoir singing this combined for Cantab next year...!!

Hehe

2006-09-11T22:04:00.000+08:00

I passed.

That is all.

=)

Back!

2006-08-28T12:16:00.000+08:00

I think a month's break from blogging has done me some good.

So I was waiting for something significant to happen, so that I would share about it and cease hiatus and come out of hibernation. Then I realise that I would be waiting forever, for there is always going to be something better (or worse) that happens. In any case, I thought I should have at least one post in August, less my archive page be empty.

So my army life is approaching its end soon. Since I'm PES E, I will be officially absolved of all National Service duty on 29th December 2006. I can't say that my NS life has been absolutely fulfilling, but I am also not of the opinion that NS is a complete waste of time. Unlike those typical NS guys whom you see always complaining, sulking, whining, and otherwise just being plain petulant about their NS obligation, I happen to feel quite proud to be serving my country in my own small way. I can only imagine this feeling to become greater, and not lesser, if I had been medically fit to carry a gun and be part of a combat unit.

Granted, work here may be boring sometimes. But who's said anything about NS being all fun? It's an obligation to serve the country! Anyway I am quite sick of the "NS sucks!" conversations which inevitably comes up when groups of guys come together. I am even more sick of the fact that I, under peer pressure, agree with them. From now on I shall put my foot down.

---

My sister's been gone for a little bit over a month now. It feels much quieter at home without her around. She's usually with me burning the midnight oil, and although we don't speak much, at least it was companion. With my little sister being the havoc "I-won't-be-home-before-11pm" one that she is now, it gets boring facing my mom at home alone all the time; I get to be the target of ALL her nagging! Then again, I also sleep earlier now, so at least that's one good thing.

She's supposedly coming back next February. I am thinking of visiting her in late January / early February, then coming back together, but I doubt I will have enough money by then. Maybe during the June / July period I will have enough money saved up. By that time maybe my friends would be free and interested in a US trip with me, and little sister will be having her holidays too.

---

Shopping for girl-stuff, I discovered, is quite a daunting task. The stares that I get when I approach the relevant counters just gives off the "What are YOU doing here!?" feeling. But in the end I "succeeded", so to speak. It was not much, just something to express my gratitude for the friendship. Happy 19th fel!

Hearing stories of other couples has led me to change my belief of how boyfriends are suppose to be like, what sort of behavior is deem acceptable. Of course, this varies largely from person to person, and I'm not even sure why I'm taking notes since I'm don't even have the slightest inclination of having a relationship right now. But it's interesting to me nonetheless; perhaps they can be referenced to in the future.

Speaking of birthdays, dad is planning to book a chalet for my coming 21st birthday already. I'm really quite resenting that. I'm not big on large parties. I don't want to be forced to invite lots of friends, having to entertain groups of people who don't know each other, or even pretend that I am good friends with everyone even though I'm not. It's quite sad. I don't think I have more than a handful of people to invite. A few old classmates, a few choir friends, that's it. I don't care for the presents and I don't care for the arbitrary significance of a 21st birthday. Oh well..

---

Visited the choir a few times. Quite possibly they are the best batch of J1s we've had so far. The old IP people inside may be the cause, I think. Xingqun is a good SL, but I hope I will get to see Xiangting in action soon. Miss Lim's mood seems great, so that's good.

On the alumni side, nothing is happening. Carolling will probably be like last year, since we've got no lobangs for ourselves, and attendence is always a problem. Tim seems to be extremely busy with university life. I don't think there is [b]anything[/b] going on in the alumni choir right now, but there's not a lot of communication so I'm not sure what may be going on behind the scenes. On my part, I have been busy buying more scores. Preparing for next year's concert? Maybe.

Sometimes I wish Miss Lim would just form a choir consisting of herself, and all the alumni from her schools. I think it'll be nice to sing under her again, along side with all her other "disciples". There's just not enough enthusiastic singers from NJ to form the kind of choir I want to sing in. Also, I harbour the great desire of showing Kwei that Miss Lim has what it takes to make it big on the international stage as well. Haha...

---

I've had some pretty interesting run-ins with some people on church matters recently. I'll save that for the next post.

Until then, I hope everyone is doing ok! God bless =)

2006-07-27T10:18:00.000+08:00

Taking graduation photos is rather interesting when you have your sister graduating together with no less than 4 cousins; 2 guys, from NUS (both 1st class, btw), and 2 girls, from NTU.

So it was quite crowded in the studio, with 5 people in robes and square hats, all the other family members, and the photography team of 2. I'm happy to announce that my sister is the most photogenic of the lot. And also the most accomplished, earning $4k per month in US now.

It was quite funny to see the photographer snapping away with his professional gear, and while he takes a break to adjust the settings or change the lens or move the lights, the bunch of us quickly jump forward and snap away with our own cameras and camera-phones.

So after the studio shot we went Esplanade for some outdoor shots. By this time it was getting rather boring, as me and my other non-graduating cousins soon found out. My little sister was having a blast directing the other sister and her friends for their shots, but we guys, we are not really interested in that stuff, so we chilled at Hagen Daz. There were a lot of other graduates there taking photos; I guess Esplanade is a popular spot.

Photos will be up later, if I can find one that I don't look too badly in. Lol.

Went K-boxing on Tuesday night, sort of a final activity together before my sister flies off. Originally I thought it would be a me-and-my-sisters thing, but we ended up having quite a lot of people. After taking a while to "warm up", we soon became crazy, singing all the fast-and-upbeat songs, screaming into the mics and dancing on the sofas. It was crazy. Best fun I've had in a long long while.

Sang non-stop from 8 to 1. Quite damaging to my vocal cords, I'll say, but who cares. After that, went straight to the airport as my sister's friends were already there waiting for her (they had to catch the last train there). We arrived to find them playing Monopoly in the viewing gallery, imagine that. Well we left my sister with her friends, while I went Pacific Coffee to sit out the rest of the hours.

I discovered that Changi Airport is really a rather nice and quiet place at that time of the day. Very little people, very little noise. It was very relaxing to slouch on a sofa and read and sip coffee and nimble on cheese cake.

My sister's luggage was overweight by about 8kg, so she was lucky that she got through without paying the excess baggage fine. Her friend, though, was not that lucky, and her's was only 3kg overweight! Anyway, the checking in was quite troublesome for the US-bound; there was even a little questioning going on, making sure we are not potential terrorists.

Well, I didn't exactly cry. There was a little tearing to be had towards the end, but all in all it was quite drama-less.

One less sister at home. I've not quite gotten used to it yet. Usually it's me and her in front of our computers with the TV on at ungodly hours of the night, so it's quite weird to think that I will be burning the midnight oil on my own for the next 1.5 years.

She better buy me some nice things when she comes back to make up for the $175 I spent on that Roxy jacket of hers. Haha..

Won't be blogging in a long while after this, I think. So don't hold your breath for the next post. Until then, God bless ya'll.

2006-07-26T16:42:00.000+08:00

http://tiggerytiger.livejournal.com/4365.html#cutid1

For those too lazy to click a link, I might as well just copy and paste:

------

I just need to rant about this.

Right you have been warned. Hohoho. Anyway, I happened to be blogsurfing this afternoon, and I saw this:
"Visited the choir that afternoon. Wasn't impressed, but they had missing people due to SYF. One thing that particularly irked me was that they practiced the rhythm for the song by speaking the words in rhythm. I have no idea why they subscribe to that. Inherited from seniors? I remember them practicing "El Hambo" by CLAPPING the rhythm, and speaking the rhythm for "Mikyo" as well. I seriously doubt that it helps that much. It feels so unnatural and forced, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself at the back at how ridiculous they seemed."

Well I'll have you all know that YOURS TRULY was the one who got them to clap the rhythm for El Hambo. Long story short, and cutting out all the technical details so people won't go o.O, clapping/speaking the rhythm helps sections to move together and basically neaten up a piece, especially if it's rhythmic. I can't help but feel mildly irritated and EXTREMELY insulted that someone who could be considered my "junior" where choir experience is concerned could even deem himself fit to pass judgement on his student conductors, juniors or otherwise. Yes, everyone's entitled to their own opinions, but to say it in such a way that passes judgement on a particular activity based on one's own opinion/experience of the activity seems a little too much to me.

Oh well. Maybe I'm being oversensitive again, and judging someone too harshly. That's entirely possible, but seriously, when I read those words, they certainly seemed offensive, rather than just a mere expressing of opinion.

------

Well then, this is interesting.

1. Hinting at hidden "technical knowledge" is rather amusing. So you think it works. I don't think it does. We can't just agree to disagree? And I thought I was the argumentative one. I don't care for a game of "let's see who's better", so feel free to remain on your high horse.

2. You assume I have less choral-related experience than you. I guess we don't really have to go into the whole "assuming is bad" thing.

3. I was not being judgemental. Trust me, you'll definately know it when I am.

4. I never considered you my student conductor.

A few more points, but I've decided it's not worth my time.

I know I have my fair share of people who hate me. That's fine with me, I don't really give a damn. I never liked you anyway; professionally, personally, or otherwise.

Oh, in case anyone is wondering, that's Cherie's blog.

Expect a more pleasant update soon, on graduation photo taking, k-boxing, and wandering about Changi Airport at 3am.

2006-07-17T11:21:00.000+08:00

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." - Mark Twain

Indeed C. S. Lewis speaks similiarly, in one of his many books, that joy is not fully experienced unless it is consummated by the act of sharing it.

Last Friday was my unit's anniversary. We are quite a young unit in the SAF, 5 or 6 years old only, I think. To celebrate we had a day off from work (aside from those unlucky enough to be on ops duty, that is), which we spent instead at HomeTeamNS @ Bukit Batok bowling. The bowling was enjoyable enough. It has been quite sometime since I last bowled, so I shall spare myself the embarrassement and not post my results. Suffice to say that while I wasn't the star player of my team, I was not the lousiest either. Sore arms aside, I believe I find bowling more enjoyable than playing pool, not that I play either much.

It was interesting to sit back and note the various different behaviors people exhibit in a team setting. Tells you a lot about the person, the way he behaves when playing a team game. Of course, I'm not particularly interested in knowing any of them better, so it was more of an intellectual exercise.

In a stroke of forgetfullness I left my insulin pump at home, which left me no choice but to leave early, skipping the buffet lunch. Not that I really regret it; I don't think the food was going to be particularly fantastic, and the company not much better either.

Visited the choir that afternoon. Wasn't impressed, but they had missing people due to SYF. One thing that particularly irked me was that they practiced the rhythm for the song by speaking the words in rhythm. I have no idea why they subscribe to that. Inherited from seniors? I remember them practicing "El Hambo" by CLAPPING the rhythm, and speaking the rhythm for "Mikyo" as well. I seriously doubt that it helps that much. It feels so unnatural and forced, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself at the back at how ridiculous they seemed.

Senior's farewell is this coming Friday. I'm still undecided as to whether I should go. None of the "old" people seem interested. If I have to go alone, I might as well give it a miss. Miss Lim won't be there anyway. And I have a dinner date =)

Pirates of the Caribbean was pretty nice. Saw it with Honseng and Wenlin at the new Cathay cineplex. Nice theater, comfy seats, only drawback is just the emptiness of the place. Depending on the shops, it could well prove to be more popular than PS. Cathay cinemas are better than GV's, anyway.

Thai Express lunch, Swenson's dinner. Quite an expensive day, I'll say. Feli joined us for dinner after I persuaded her, but I think she felt rather quite out of place. Didn't find my sister's stuff, she's now officially disappointed. But she's not leaving till the 26th, so there's still a little more than a week left for me to procure the item. Curiously, I'm not feeling much at the prospect of her leaving for the US for 1.5 years now, but I suspect that the reality of it will hit me a couple of weeks after she's gone. Ah, boring times ahead with nobody to bicker with at home.

Inspired by a list of "Things I Love" made by somebody else, I shall endeavor to make a similiar one of my own. No doubt mine will be much shorter. Nevertheless, consider this an attempt at "counting my blessings", in a way.

I love...

...God, the Great Lover of Man, from everlasting to everlasting, with whom all thing are made possible and, indeed, made beautiful in the reflection of his Perfectness.

...My Bible, the best and truest book ever written.

...My dad, who, despite me never meeting his expectations, continues to provide and care for me.

...My mom, in spite of all the nagging and scoldings.

...My sister, whom admist all the bickering and fighting I still can find love for.

...My other sister, the one I'll be alone with for the coming 1.5 years, and my senior in NUS to boot.

...My books, whatever will I do without them?

...My organ, which provides me with an outlet for my musical needs (although I still want a piano >_<).

...My computer, without which MSN would not be possible.

...My fridge, which contains my medication, my green teas and diet cokes, my cookies and chocolates.

...My mahjong + table, the official family entertainment.

...My insulin pump, which sustains my life.

...My choir scores, they bring back memories of the good old days.

...My "box", with all the little items of momento, including letters, cards, drawings, CDs, stuff from Bremen 04, from orientation 03, from Cantab 04, from outings with significant people, from Verona 06, and many many more.

...Coffee, possibly the greatest beverage ever discovered.

...Green Tea, the next best thing after coffee.

...diabetic-friendly peanut butter, and the person who bought it for me.

...Jie Hui, who taught me to love Christ.

...Daniel, who showed me Christian living, and inspiring me to better myself.

...Kaiyan, Lincoln, Chris, who were with me in my teething years.

...Qianjin, singer for God.

...Ashleigh, for leading me to Christ, and for half a year of singing together.

...Timothy, for making me want to be a better leader.

...Zhiwei, closest friend from 03S20.

...Enid, closest friend from the original 03S20.

...Evan, Mich, Jin, sisters in Christ, for making school fun.

...Sher, oldest friend since primary days.

...Honseng, for the support, and for making choir fun.

...Chinyaw, for the good old days.

...Cheryl, for the cookies and cakes.

...Huacheng, Angela, the rest of the NC committee, for making it possible!

...Audrey, for making me feel young, and reminding me to have fun.

...Natalie, for showing me the way life is supposed to be lived.

...Wenlin, for those food-for-thoughts.

...Felicia, saving the best for the last =)

There's probably more, but that's it for now.

116 work-days to ORD!

10 things

2006-07-13T09:31:00.000+08:00

10 Things I Want to Do After I ORD.

1) Go on a holiday.

Duh. I have a few people in mind that I would like to spend a holiday with. And I really hope to catch up with my classmates cause it's been like 1.5 years since I last saw any of them. Location is flexible; I don't really care as long as it's a getaway.

2) Learn Koine Greek. Properly.

Boring as life is now, I don't really have the time to seriously sit down and study it now. My weekday schedule is basically work, go home, eat, dota/mahjong/watch tv, talk on MSN, bedtime reading, sleep. I also don't have the will to seriously work on it for 3 hours a day now. And it's tiring to learn a language alone. I realise that's a lot of excuses right there, but they are all truths! >_<

I thought about asking my few Christian friends to maybe study with me. But I seriously doubt any of them will be interested, so I didn't bother to ask. Time issues aside, the Christians I know are just not interested in "apologetics" or "theology" or "exergesis". Sad as it sounds, they really do think its all about "love". Funny how that is, given their idea of "love" is a rather strange concept back in ANE times.

Greek is a wonderful language. It also helps you remember all those physics symbols, and laugh at everyone who pronounces "3.1412" as "pie" instead of it's proper pronunciation of "pii". My aim is to learn enough of it to translate semi-smoothly with the help of lexicons. Will probably take around 2 years, given my ineptitude with languages. To think I wanted to move on to Biblical Hebrew! Maybe if I can find a partner =p

3) Take up courses at a local seminary.

"Seminary" may not be the correct word to use here, but you get what I mean. Don't exactly have anything particular in mind, but definately something scholarly. Maybe OT history. My "current" theological interest lies in Ecclesiology (church history) and Eschatology (Christian End-times), but I don't think the local schools offer much in either.

4) Read more books.

I actually have quite a large pile of books on my shelves that I have still yet to plow through. Once again time is really the issue here. I try to get 1 or 2 hours of reading before bed, but sometimes that doesn't work out because I'll be too tired, or the subject too heavy to handle at such a late time. Ever tried reading N. T. Wright at 12am in bed? Your eyes literally swim through the paragraphs. I've more or less given up on reading that kind of stuff at night, and just stick to fiction.

5) Revise A levels Maths, Chemistry, Physics and Biology.

I don't want to make a fool of myself in NUS! 8 months is time plenty enough to get back into the studying mood, I think. Read up old notes, do some 10 year series, maybe teach a bit of JC tuition. I'm quite excited at the prospect of hitting the books again. Sounds weird (and probably insane to current students), but it's true. =)

6) Pick up a sport.

Yes folks, I am severly lacking in the "exercise" department here. I'm not looking for anything heavy, and I'm definately not thinking of hitting the gym for some iron-pumping. Just looking to run/swim/cycle semi-regularly, and maybe learn something, like skating, or archery, or fencing. I feel the urge to go back to TCHS to jump the trampoline, but I think it'll be kinda weird going back. Not even sure if the old coach is still there!

Yeah. My sedated lifestyle now is pretty detrimental to my health. Yikes.

7) Buy a piano and practice 3 hours a day.

Always wanted this. Practicing on an organ is so frustrating. There's not enough keys, the keys have no touch, there's no sustain pedal, and it screws up my fingering when I play on a piano. I'm not going to go for any lessons, just continue to learn whatever piece I like myself.

That said, anyone has a piano to sell me cheaply? =D

8) Do volunteer work.

Yes you've heard that right. My lack of CIP in my JC days has finally caught up to me. Am thinking of TOUCH, since I've never really participated in any of it's activity even though they still send me regular newsletters of events happening. Maybe serve a church ministry? If I've found a church to settle in by then.

9) Slog for NC.

That's right. Cantabile 07, Aspects 07. Enough Said.

10) Secret.

This item is secret and may not be revealed.

---

Noticed I'm not intending to work for money. Which means I'm going to be utterly broke by February 07. Hence, donations are very welcomed. =D

I leave you with this:

"This day I call heaven and earth as witness against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him." Deut, ch30, v19-20

2006-06-28T09:47:00.000+08:00

I am not a good person.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."

Lord, grant me strength to accept that which I cannot change. Amen.

Quiz, tags and sinful thoughts

2006-06-23T10:23:00.000+08:00

Random quiz taken from random blog-surfing.

[x] I know how to make a pot of coffee [instant 3-in-1 mix coffee counted? =D]
[ ] I do my own laundry
[x] I can cook for myself [cup noodles counted? Er.. I can fry eggs. Hah. Note that "can" doesn't mean "do"]
[ ] I do my chores after being told once [FAT HOPE]
[x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations [depends on the topic actually..]
[ ] I think politics are exciting [eww]
[ ] My parents and grand-parents have better things to say than my peers
[x] I show up for school/work every day unless I'm sick..really sick..
[ ] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse
[x] I've never gotten a ticket [don't drive...YET]
[x] I watch talk shows and point out the incredibility of it all [more like "stupidity of it all"]
[x] I know what incredibility means without looking it up
[x] I drink black coffee
[x] I know how to run the dish washer..or do the dishes [note that, once again, knowing is not doing]
[x] I can count in more than one language [English, Chinese, Japanese? (to 10), Malay? (to 10), a few dialects, Greek! Haha]
[x] When I say I'm going to do something, I do it. [unless I didn't mean it when I said it]
[ ] I mow the lawn [no lawn]
[ ] I wash my car [not my car...YET]
[ ] I can make adults laugh..without being stupid [adults...laugh?]
[x] I study when I have to [when else?]
[x] sometimes I pay attention at school/work
[ ] I remember to feed my pets [no more pets]
[x] I'm generally organized ["generally" is rather subjective..]
[x] I can spell experience without looking at the line above
[x] The first thing I do when I wake up is get coffee. [technically not the first thing since I don't take breakfast at home. First thing I do when I get into office, though.]
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need [only the male species is capable of this, I believe]
[x] I understand jokes the first time they are said
[ ] I understand the fact that the world always screws someone over
[x] I can type fast, because I type every day.
[ ] My choice in clothing is acceptable in an office or something like that [eh?]
[ ] I can watch politics and laugh because I understand what is going on [don't care about them]
[ ] I no longer watch cartoons. [are you kidding!?]
[ ] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] I can look at someone hot and not think of sex [that's not possible. Seriously.]
[ ]I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job [plenty of people have taken me seriously. Or they will. *shows fist*]
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it [I'm currently reading about 5 books concurrently. WILL finish them..in time.]
[ ] People have said that I act older than I am. [none that I can recall]
[x] I can be sent on an errand and not get side tracked [again, the fact that I "can" does not imply that it happens in real life. Haha]

Supposedly the number of "x"s corresponds to the age you act. If half-an-"x" (the first 2) adds to 1, then I'm acting like I'm 20! Which IS my age! Hurray for accuracy!

@Cherie: Let's just say I have many problems with RCC doctrines, and leave it at that.

@Sher: There's a difference between SAF and the Government, you know. That said, ORD IN 189 DAYS!

@Wenlin: Yes, I love my new blogskin too haha!

Recently I find myself having a lot of sinful thoughts crossing my mind. Not erotic, mind you, just plain-old devilish-sinful. All Christians reading this please add me to your prayer list, thanks!

ashes, ashes, we all fall down..

2006-06-20T09:23:00.000+08:00

@Timmo: I didn't mean anything mentioning you, just that you happened to popped up in my mind. Knowledge is the gift, but the desire of it is not. You ask me to share, but not many people are interested in theology or apologetics. In fact most that I've encountered don't care much. I'm tired of being treated with the same old "same old". It's not just about "loving God"; to love, you must know.

I'm not saying other things are not important. Mission trips are important too. Evangelism is important. But while modern day charismatic churchs are largely focused on evangelism, the very image they display of themselves drive people away. Speaking in tongues, anyone? The act that was supposed to be an outwardly divine sign for unbelievers has become, because of the pentacoastal and subsequently charismatic movement, the laughing stock of Christendom. I'm so tired of defending them and their practices to skeptics and answer-seekers that I don't bother anymore.

That's why I'm so frustrated with myself. The quest for knowledge is a difficult one. Doing it alone is tiring and unproductive, and sometimes, truth to be told, unmotivating. I've almost completely given up my Greek just because it's so difficult to plow through all the grammar alone.

Well, shan't ramble on...

It's 9:30 am and I'm already on my second cup of coffee. Big Boss is on leave for the week, probably going holiday-ing with her kids. Probably will be a rather slack week. Heh. No complains from me.

Nothing much else is going on. I've accepted NUS Bioengineering and Business DDP. Quite against my own wishes and desires, I suppose. Don't have much interest to speak of for Business; I only chose it because it was either that or Economics. Well my Dad will never let me off if I rejected it after being offered. And he keeps wanting me to start school in April. After serving the Nation for 2 miserable years, I think I deserve the 8 months of rest. We'll see how things go.

Hmm...

That's all.

Oh, welcome to my blog, moonstar! =)

LOST

2006-06-19T14:48:00.000+08:00

I'm in kind of a down period right now. Feeling just slightly more depressed than usual. Kinda like directionless (purpose-less?), don't really know what I'm doing / going to do.

A few weeks back on the chinese talk show on Ch U was a discussion about blogging in general. I think many bloggers, especially those "famous" ones, are rather delusional. They keep harping on how they are "blogging for themselves", just "writing what they feel", or how they "don't care what others think about their blogging", basically trying to present a what-you-see-is-what-you-get idea of themselves online and offline.

Admit it. We don't blog because we want to pen down our thoughts. If we wanted to do that it would not be on a public cyberspace. We blog for the audience. If there's nobody reading, why should I bother to blog?

Here's a fair disclaimer, although I'm quite sure it is not needed. Guys, what you read here is not the real me. Shocking, I know. Certain things are exaggerated, certain things played down, and certain things just plained unnoted. I try to be eloquent, to be funny, to be insightful, to provoke discussion, but you don't see me trying that damn hard in real life, do you?

I'm not saying nothing I write here is true. I've always thought blogging to be a convenient way to let people know me better. But it's all surface-stuff here; I can't possibly tell you about the new crush I have here, right? But it's a good start, so keep reading. =)

One thing I hate about the general invention / discovery of blogging, is that sometimes I would ask somebody "How's your day?", or "How was the insert-event-here?", or something of that sort, and I would get a "Go read my blog" reply. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why people accuse blogging of being responsible for the devolving of human interaction dynamics. While I'm sure I could read your blog perfectly well, it would have been nice to hear a personal response to a personal question. Such people I don't bother myself with much anymore; if they think reading their blog is enough "interaction", I certainly am in no place to disagree.

Tired as it sounds, post-Italy and post-Cantab depression still affects me. I guess choir is pretty much a huge part of my life. Have not heard from Timo for a long time. I am hoping to get the carolling stuff settled before he goes off to NUS, since he'll definately be very busy then.

I feel kinda separated from my friends. As in, I don't really know what's going on in their lives. Hmm. You know what? Talking to people scares me. I'm terribly afraid of not having anything to say. I fear I am a boring friend.

I have not been very active socially this past week. I was intending to visit Hope and see Jiehui and the rest on Saturday, but I didn't manage to wake up on time. Maybe this weekend. Just to take a look and see old friends.

My hiatus from church irritates me. Sometimes I feel like just giving up and conform. Everywhere I turn is Charismatic churches. Everywhere I go I see abuse of tongues. Every service I attend I see an over-emphasis on emotional appeals and feel-goodness. Every other Christian I meet is more interested in promoting simple-believism (a.k.a "Just Believe!!") or "Jesus-is-my-buddy" mentality than, for example, knowing proper exergesis methods.

Am I wrong? Is my path deviating from the Way? I highly doubt it, but still the small chance of it irks me. I was rather surprised to know how much Timo didn't know about Christianity after talking to him on a few occasions. How many are aware of the many different eschatological views (preterist, post-/pre-/amillenial, dispentionalism, futurism, historism, etc.)? How many are aware of the many different views on the mode of atonement (penal substitution, covenental, moral-influence)? How many "Jesus is God" proof-texts do you know? Calvin vs Arminius? Roman Catholic doctrines vs Eastern Orthodox doctrines vs Protestant doctrines? Christianity vs Latter-day Saints/Jehovah's Witnesses/Seventh-Day Aventists/Oneness Pentacoastals? Church history?

I'm not saying I know them all. What I am saying is that everyone should desire to know them. Or at least a basic defense of the Faith.

It's Monday and I'm feeling extra depressed. And I forgot to bring my Winnie-the-Pooh biscuits to work. Damn.

2006-06-15T12:07:00.000+08:00

June 15, 2006
Number of diabetes cases soars worldwide
Growing trend in China and India especially worrying, say experts

WASHINGTON - THE number of people suffering from diabetes globally has soared in the past two decades.

It has gone from 30 million to 230 million, claiming millions of lives and severely taxing the ability of health-care systems to deal with the epidemic, according to data released by the International Diabetes Federation recently.

While the growing problem of diabetes in the affluent United States has been well documented, the federation's data show that seven of the 10 countries with the highest number of diabetics are in the developing world.

China now has the largest number of diabetics over age 20, around 39 million people, or about 2.7 per cent of its adult population, according to the federation.

India has the second-largest number of cases with an estimated 30 million people, or about 6 per cent of its adult population.

Other countries have higher rates of diabetes than either China or India, but the federation's experts say rising diabetes rates in the large, rapidly industrialising nations are especially worrying because of their huge populations.

In some countries in the Caribbean and the Middle East, the percentage of diabetic people ranged from 12 to 20 per cent; the highest rate of 30 per cent was posted in Nauru, an island in the South Pacific.

In some of the world's poorest countries, the disease is a quick death sentence.

While Americans can live for many years with the disease, a person in Mozambique who requires injections of insulin can expect to live just a year; in Mali, such people survive about 30 months.

There are many factors driving the growth in diabetes worldwide, but most experts agree that changes in lifestyle and diet are the chief culprits, in addition to genetic predisposition.

As developing countries industrialise rapidly, people tend to do work involving less physical activity. At the same time, the availability of food that is cheap but high in calories becomes more common.

The combination causes weight gain, which leads to greater risk of developing Type 2 diabetes, the most common form of the disease.

The other form, Type 1, is responsible for only 5 to 10 per cent of cases and is believed to stem almost entirely from genetic factors.

'Diabetes is one of the biggest health catastrophes the world has ever seen,' said Dr Martin Silink, president-elect of the International Diabetes Federation. -- NEW YORK TIMES

---

Oh, woe is me!

By the way, what I have is Type 1, the insulin-dependent type. So it's genetic okay, not because I sit in front of the TV all day and eat unhealthy food and don't exercise. =p

Living with diabetes (5 years now) is a strange balance of what is good for me versus what I want. Now that is strange because I should naturally want what is good for me, so there is no apparent conflict between the two. But there is. For example, I want to eat chocolates, but it's not good for me. I want to eat ice-cream, but it's not good for me. I want to snack randomly and frequently, but it's not good for me. And on the flip side, there are also many things that are good for me that I don't want to do. Such as exercising (my excuse would be there is nobody to exercise with so it's boring =p). And checking my blood glucose level (an extremely troublesome task), which is ideally suppose to be 4-6 times daily, while in reality it's a miracle that I check it once a week.

I consider myself a slacker in terms of managing my diabetes. It's no small miracle that I am still able to maintain a fairly good HbA1c, considering how little effort I put into controlling my diet and checking my sugar levels. HbA1c, by the way, is an amazing standard that can check your average blood sugar level over the past 3 months or so.

Perhaps I need more accountability, someone to confess that chocolate cake, or that ice-cream indulgence, or the potato chips while WoW-ing to. Someone to nag me to check my sugar levels? Ah, someone to buy diabetic-friendly food for me (wink wink =D).

Or I should just have more self-motivation and take full responsibility for my own health. >_<

On a happier note, I realise that receiving random, unexpected presents are an immense joy. I didn't think it's a very big deal to have picked her up or sent her home (and I still don't), so I didn't expect anything "in return", so to speak. I was walking around trying to spot baby photos and such, but alas found nothing particularly interesting, except the "Model student of the year" award. The nephew had a devilish look on him, and that was confirmed when she later related his, shall we say, less-than-"healthy" conversational topics. Kinda missed having little kids around the house, my cousins being more or less grown up now. I wish my sisters would hurry up and produce a nephew or a neice for me! Haha!

Did I mention that she looks absolutely terrific in the white dress and matching shoes, handbag and watch (hee hee)? Like, seriously pretty. I didn't think much of her in a dress (think NJChoir costume) before, but whoa. I am beginning to be a wee bit jealous of the boyfriend. Oops! =D

I guess I should spread the joy around. Unexpected presents, I mean.

I am staring at blue and cream-white cards with scrawled handwritting.

I am staring at folded foolscap papers, one with a particular stain from a certain chemical during practical.

I am staring at black words on a CD or five, and the not-so-little green notebook.

Maybe it's time to pick up the pen and paper again.

2006-06-12T15:47:00.000+08:00

Met up with old choir friends on Saturday. Everyone turned up faithfully, except HonSeng who was, according to Aud, sick / on guard duty.

Afterwards when we parted ways and Raph and I was waiting for the train, he asked me what I thought about the outing. Quite a weird question, to me at least.

I guess deep down we have this uncertainty about where we all stand with each other in terms of the relationship. Or at least, personally. Most of them I don't really see much, nor talk to much, so in a way I was nervous about the whole affair. But it turned out rather well. Lunch at ThaiExpress, played pool, drank coffee and talked about things like school, army and choir. I'm glad we didn't end up watching a movie; that's just so not personal. Kinda missed HonSeng, to be truthful. Hopefully there'll be another meet-up soon.

After that I travelled down to Century Square to see Feli selling NutriTea and watch her pour sample drinks, explain the price / free mug, and scowl at greedy Singaporeans grabbing at the sample drinks. Sent her home; I think I can remember the way now.

I once read from somewhere, where somebody said that love is when someone is able to make you smile even when you're tired. I sort of agree.

Personally? I think real tired smiles are rare and especially beautiful. You'll almost never see me with one, though. Generally, when I'm tired, I'm also grouchy, moody, black- / blank-faced, unresponsive and speak in mono-syllables. That, or I'm asleep. Hah.

=)

2006-06-05T16:04:00.000+08:00

Hmm.

I can't seem to maintain more than 1 close relationship at any one time.

And by close I mean the kind where you really get to know the other person.

It seems that throughout the years, friends I have that I consider really close [note: the other party may not feel the same way] have come and gone, never overlapping, never more than 1.

Secondary 1 and 2 was yf. 3 and 4 there wasn't really anyone, and that happened to be one of the down-est period of my life [diagnosed with diabetes, missed competition, bad-getting-worst results, etc.]. Then there was Enid for maybe the first 6 months of my JC life. Then Aud, lasting another approximately 6 months or so. Then came Ash, and that was on-and-off for perhaps a year or so. And now I have Feli =)

It's strange. Somehow it's like I have just enough energy to maintain one relationship at one time.

And do you know what's the recurring theme among most of them? It is that the friendships developed due to physical proximity, and faded because of physical proximity as well. yf and I were classmates for 2 years. After that he went tower block while I went toilet block, lol. Enid was in my OG, then she went to Australia. Aud was hs' little sister who always tagged along with us, then she stopped tagging along as much. Ash was my junior in choir, then I left choir for A levels.

Notice who is the special one? Feli! I only started getting to know her after I left choir. Funny how that happened; don't ask me how, I have no idea either. What's even more unbelievable is that we are still good friends [I hope!] now, even though we're no longer in NJ, she's not in the alumni choir [a status I hope to change soon!], and we don't see each other much except for I think 4 or 5 dates in the past [no more now that her bf objects =(].

I think all my friends are special because I have so few of them. I really enjoy the getting-to-know-you-a-lot process, and I am always willing and eager for my friends to know more about me. Sharing personal details, thoughts, laughs and sorrows; that's what appeals to me, and, I'm sure, to lots of other people as well.

Why is it that I always seem to have only time for one?

There are so many other people around me that I would really like to know more and deeper, but for each of them there always seem to be some obstacle blocking the way.

So, if you are my friend [both old and new!], and you're reading this, please leave me a tag. Or e-mail me [chyekeong@gmail.com]. Or say hi to me on MSN [iamck_@hotmail.com]. Or call / SMS me [ask if you don't have my number].

I know, I know, it's extremely lazy of me to sit on my ass here expecting people to contact me, instead of going around contacting everyone. Bleah.

Oh yea. Happy birthday to these people I know!

YuehHsin - 6 June
Timmo - 7 June
De Wei - 7 June?
Mar - 5 June

/gives virtual present.

Cheapo, I know. =p

2006-06-04T19:18:00.000+08:00

2 updates in a day? That's a rare one. Hah. Just so you know there's another post below this that was typed today.

I was reading somebody's blog, a certain choir junior. And after that, since there was links to plenty of other choir people's blogs, I went through them all.

A common theme was found. Everyone loves choir, everyone hated the fact the the J2s are leaving. Everyone loves everyone else, period.

Funny. I can't help but feel a certain amount of skepticism. I can't help but feel that their enthusiasm will fade away rather quickly. Speaking from experience? Not really. I was never as close to my seniors as they are, and my juniors were never as close to me as they are. But, once the J2s leave to concentrate on their studies, how many of them will be back for visits? After their exams are over, how many of them will be back? Next year, as the girls work and the guys go off to NS, how many of them will be back? After professing undying love, how many follow up with concrete action?

Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that this bunch of people are so much more united and "bonded" then all the other batches I've known.

Ok, you've got me, this is a pitch for the alumni choir disguised as a regular blog post. Hah.

Choir. Life. Sing it with me.

2006-06-04T14:56:00.000+08:00

People who complain about being too busy and having no time makes me scratch my head.

I mean, isn't our time meant to be spent doing things and being busy?

I certainly won't mind having more things to fill out my time with.

I can't help but feel mildly useless sometimes. I think of Nat and her forever huge social circles, and cringe at my own. I think of other people with 7 A'level distinctions, and cringe at my own results. I think of people like Daniel, JH, QJ, Shuyi, Ash, etc, and I cringe at my own Christian life. I think of Dewei and laugh at my so-called musicality.

And there are lots of other things as well.

And the funny thing is, I think I should be more depressed than I really am. Somehow I am aware of my faults and short-comings, and I'm actually happy for them. Volunteeringly inperfect creatures like me should not expect perfection, should we? My short-comings allow God to work in me, and I am thankful for that. I think that is one of the purpose of life on Earth. To become better than we started out as. To become better for God. To become, as C.S.Lewis mentions, actually lovable and, indeed more lovable by God.

It's exciting to see the new choir committee taking over the old one. New people, new faces, new challenges. Am I happy with the committee? Barring the fact that I don't have a say in them anyway, I also can't comment much because, after all's said and done, spending a week together in Verona don't exactly mean you'll know them very well. And some of them didn't go, so I know them even less. I can comment on the IP3s in the committee, though, knowing them for 3 years now. I'm sure Tammy will do a good job; Timo said more than once she is President material, and I'll take his word for it. Phoebe'll do well as well. Jiayun is a good SL, Cil will probably make a good one as well, and XiangTing as SC.

Feels old. This is going to be the 3rd committee since my own.

Timo talked about alumni plans for the near future. Sounds exciting. Also sounds like a lot of work. Haha.

Went to PS for lunch with some of them. Then I went Borders, where I witnessed something rather interesting.

A guy and a girl browsing the shelves together, presumably a couple by the way they were holding hands. Religion section. I was there looking at some N. T. Wright book and wondering if I should pay $60 for it. Anyway I couldn't help but overhear their conversation, and soon find myself actually following them and lingering near them to catch more of what they were talking about.

The girl, I presume, was Christian. The guy had the sound of an agnostic or skeptic, possibly a Mormon. They were talking (arguing?) about the validity of the NT, specifically the Gospels. Here we see the usual crap being brought up by the skeptical guy. History is written by the victors, the Church destroyed all documents and writings that went against their doctrines. The Church sanctioned only writings that fitted their doctrines. 2nd century documents prove nothing. And so on and so forth. He even went as far to suggest that the Church destroyed all the original writings, then re-wrote everything to fit their doctrines. I was tempted to quote him 1st century sources quoting from the apparently well-established NT Canon. He also took several stabs at modern archaeological methods, claiming how they are inaccurate and untrustworthy. And, of course, the ever-important conclusion that we should use our own discernment, and "listen to our heart". That was what hinted to me that he was possibly a Mormon. Damn them and their "pray upon the Book of Mormon, and if you are Good enough god will reveal to you that it is a True Book" crap.

The sad thing is I see the girl having absolutely nothing to strike back with. She had no facts, no information, and no knowledge to rebuke all the crap the guy was saying. Is it any wonder that everywhere we go today we are being accused of having blind faith without any reason whatsoever? When a good Christian can't defend him or herself from the most basic and ridiculous of attacks from the opposition team, can we conclude that the Church has fail us at large?

We are called to defend our Faith. "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." 1 Peter 3:15b. Some people may say "Oh, I don't really have any interest in apologetics.", or "I don't care much for theology or doctrine.", or even "Apologetics is useless. Have faith!". Yes, not everyone must necessarily pursue a Masters in Divinity. But I believe it is important for every Christian to be equipped with at least the basics with which to defend against the most common of objections against our Faith.

I think all these Christian ramblings have caused my readership to dwindle. Lol. Tag!

I got accepted into NUS Double Degree Program. Bioengineering and Business.

I also failed my driving practical test.

Guess who was the first non-family to know both pieces of news?

The scary thing about thinking of somebody as a really good friend is that that person may not think the same of you.

Imagine how Jesus feels? The Lover, Whose loved ones do not love Him.

Whenever I feel insecure about my relationships with others, I remember Jesus at Calvary, how He sacrificed even His life in order to secure His relationship with Man. And I want to follow in His steps.

Jesus leads the way! Can I have an AMEN for that!? =D

2006-06-01T10:08:00.000+08:00

Why Johnny Can't Believe
On the Failure of the Church to Educate
James Patrick Holding

DRAFT -- subject to additions (original 5/26; updated 5/30)

Finally, the 21st century Apologist needs to take Apologetics far more seriously. He needs to incorporate Apologetics into every aspect of his or her ministry: every sermon, every class, every evangelistic activity. We have woefully neglected our responsibility to train our young people in the solid case for Christianity, and then we wonder why they depart from the faith under the influence of secular university instruction. We give our parishioners and our missionaries no foundation in the defence of the faith, and then wonder why our evangelistic efforts show so little fruit in a world where people have long moved beyond accepting something just because someone else believes it.

-- John Warwick Montgomery

This is an article about how the church at large has failed us.

It is, of course, by no means meant to imply that there are not exceptions to the rules to be discussed. You may be part of a local church body without these failings, and if you are, you should be glad of it. But let's be honest -- most churches ARE failing when it comes to these matters we will discuss.

Here is the problem that I see re-occurs time and time again:

1. Our churches do not educate people in the basics of their faith. We seldom if ever hear about things like textual criticism, the authenticity of the Gospels, alleged "copycat" savior gods, etc.

2. Because our people are not educated in these matters, they are caught "flat footed" when confronted with them.

3. Some people are unaffected and simply go on their merry way. Good for them, maybe, though such people also often stand in the way when someone tries to up the intellectual ante a bit. Others start having questions.

4. Their pastors cannot answer their questions because they too are generally lacking in such knowledge; their degrees are more geared towards counseling or preaching technique. Likewise Sunday School teachers and other figures of authority, who generally have even less relevant education. Persons with questions are told that eg, questioning is evil, they should have faith, etc. which is not satisfactory (and it comes often from the "merry way" sorts).

5. The lack of education also extends to the public sector, where people are not taught to think critically, nor to evaluate credibility of sources, but rather that everyone's opinion is as good as anyone else's. The church often teaches this as well, explicity or implicitly.

6. Persons with questions come across Skeptical literature in print or online that is mostly written by persons with no better education in the relevant areas. However, because the reader also lacks the necessary education and thinking skills, the base level of what is called "common sense" (as it would often be, if indeed the facts were as the literature says) becomes persuasive precisely because of their ignorance. For example, ignorance of the process and science of textual criticism could lead to the erroneous "common sense" conclusion that there is some problem in that we have "only copies of copies of copies" of the New Testament.

7. By this time it is often too late to even provide such people with sound material by credible authorities. They are not able to comprehend even the simplest defense at times (and indeed, certain things simply can NOT be simplified so much, for otherwise they lose power and credibility as defenses), because they have not been given the adequate foundation to understand what someone like eg, a Bruce Metzger says about textual criticism. Because it violates what they have taken to be a sound, "common sense" approach by a non-authority who is equally in the dark, it is simple for them to simply dismiss answering material as some sort of desperate effort to resolve what is really a very serious problem (though in reality it isn't).

What can or needs to be done about this?

* Taking your church through "Purpose Driven Life" won't solve this.
* Reading "Left Behind" novels won't solve this.
* More contemporary music programs and "seeker-friendly" techniques won't solve this.
* Joel Osteen will DEFINITELY not solve this. Pandering to what are perceived as "needs" is part of the problem, not the solution. There is a broad failure to distinguish between "needs" and "wants".
* Your average Sunday School materials, which strain mightily to make passages like Is. 42 somehow relevant to the average working person, won't solve this.
* Building a new church gymnasium won't solve this.
* Youth programs involving gimmicks and games won't solve this.
* Passing our tracts won't solve this.

Of course I'm being facetious. The only way to solve this is with a solid educational program, which is exactly what we lack in so many of our churches. It's time for fewer prefab sermons, with their rampant decontextualizations, and time for more demonstrations on textual criticism, the authenticity of the Gospels, and so on. It's time to make such efforts a priority and not something we take after the damage is done and we need to play "catch up". It's time to be proactive instead of reactive. It's time to make these things something that is discussed from the pulpit on Sunday morning, not hidden away in Sunday night church training classes or Wednesday night Bible study. It's also time to make this part of our evangelism, and throw away or at least de-prioritize all the gimmicks like the "Evangecubes" (I can never get a full picture on all six sides anyway) and the poorly drawn Chick tracts.

What's a good way to test this?

* Did your church do anything about The Da Vinci Code? What, and when (Sunday morning when so many people were there, or on some obscure night when they know only a handful will show up)?
* How about the Gospel of Judas? Was anything said about it?
* Is the youth ministry getting the youth ready for when they will go to college and have stuff like The Christ Conspiracy shoved down their throats?
* Any word on Bart Ehrman's best-selling book Misquoting Jesus?
* If you try to discuss things like Deuteronomy in terms of an ancient suzerainty treaty (which is very important to understanding its role and application today), or the argument stricture of i Cor. 14 (key to understanding the "women keep silent" passage) is there anyone on church staff you can discuss this intelligently with, or who shows interest, or do their eyes just glaze over?

There are some answers to this that are no good:

* "This kind of approach will intimidate people." Does it occur to someone who says this that the Gospel was a very intimidating message in its time, one that upended all of the social values of its day? Let's not water down the facts or the message behind them for the sake of making yet more converts without an adequate foundation.
* "The Holy Spirit will move people." Then you don't need to preach watered-down feelgood sermons either, do you? Obviously no one practices this idea consistently except for the sort of person who a century or so back would not send a missionary to India under the reasoning that the Spirit would do all the work without missionaries. At least they were consistent in their approach.

And, here are some good questions from a reader with similar concerns:

1. How can I find a church in my area that stays abreast of "hot topics" that attempt to falsify the Christian faith? What other questions can I ask my current church that would help me to get a sense of their direction?

I'm putting these two questions together because the answers to both of them are much the same.

We have a good chance here provided by The Da Vinci Code. Ask for a copy of whatever teachings they have on it from the pulpit. If they have none, you have an answer. If they have some, listen to it and see how they deal with it -- with facts? With appeal to "just believe"? Also, simply ask about some of the hot topics and how those have been handled. Someone who answers your question about the Gospel of Judas with a "duh" is not doing a good job.

Another thing I like to do is ask a pastor who their favorite Biblical scholar is. I did this once and got the supremely inane answer, "Warren Wiersbe" -- who is a pastor, not a scholar. See if they know of certain people like Wright or Witherington. If their knowledge of apologetics is limited to a copy of ETDAV, forget it. And, see if they have a staff position for education pastor (if it is a large enough church).

As bad as it is, you might just be able to ask if they know what "apologetics" is and get an answer that tells you all you need to know.
2. If my church doesn't see the need for stronger apologetics how can I convince them otherwise? One of the most powerful things you can do is show them the results of the neglect. I have gathered a small notebook of powerful "anti-testimonies" from people like Dan Barker; if you want a copy, ask me and I'll send it. These anti-testimonies show that there is a strong desire to "anti-evangelize". You might also be able to raise awareness by bringing copies of material like Losing Faith in Faith and asking staff how they'd deal with someone who got hold of it and started thinking it was valid.

Another thing you might be able to do is talk to some members about these issues and see if they have been looking for answers. If they have been, provide some and use that as a point in favor of change: The need obviously exists. But if this doesn't wake them up, be warned: It will just make them hide deeper in their shell. But that's a good thing, because right now, as serious as the problem is, the method is like the bumper sticker that says, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way." The ones who hide in their shell or who continue to neglect the problem can get out of the way.

Consider this a call to action.

------

Great article.

While I agree quite passionately with it, I have also been having my doubts.

Church hopping isn't exactly fun. Sometimes I wonder whether insisting on looking for a Church that suits me is really the biblical way.

2006-05-28T00:00:00.000+08:00

Cantabile XX went well. =)

I'm not going to dissect the concert song by song, or section by section, although I do have a lot of thoughts on them and learned a lot as well. We sang well, we enjoyed ourselves, that's all that matters. It's really different to be conducting rather than singing, though.

Thanks:

1. God, without Whom nothing is possible.

2. Tim, for all the preparations and organisation.

3. My alumni singers. All my seniors, super-seniors, batch-mates. To be making music together with you all is both my honour and pleasure. And of course, JOAN, for being the only singer from the 0405 batch!

4. The outgoing batch, for a job well done, far surpassing what we did 2 years ago! Wonderful committee, wonderful singers. Hoping to see all of you back for carolling and more!

5. The taking-over batch, for being the most lively, noisy and camera-loving bunch of singers I've met yet. We'll see each other soon for the HDB thing, and for carolling maybe. Who knows, maybe next year it will be your turn as guest singers for ASPECTS 07!

6. All the friends who came to support us. Always nice to see familiar faces. All I can say is, hopefully next year you guys will be on the stage instead of among the audiences! For those who wanted to come but couldn't, the thought is appreciated as well. =)

7. Christ, my Rock and Salvation.

i thank You God for most this amazing day.

(backdated 28 May 2006)

2006-05-23T23:20:00.000+08:00

I miss Ash. I really do.

Right at this very moment, I wish she is here. She'll understand where I'm coming from. For reasons unknown to me we stopped talking since... End of last year? Sometime there.

Sigh.

I've come to realise that being older does not necessarily means being more mature.

I'm having a hell of a stressful time with the alumni now. I thought they would be easier to deal with than the kids. Oh boy am I wrong.

Is it so wrong for me to want a good performance?

I didn't even scold. I was on the verge of it many times but somehow I manage to hold back. I've already lowered my standards, why am I still being picked on?

Look at those guys standing at the back. Arms folded across the chest and leaning on one foot. Did I tell him off? No. Would I like to? You damn right I do. Half the guys have their mouths open so small you could not fit a grape in. And everytime I stop they turn to each other and talk.

I know probably half the guys are just there for the fun of it. The usual "my friends are here so I'm here". That's sad, but that's also reality. Timmo tells me I should not keep saying bad things about them or they will not want to sing next time anymore. So I'm suppose to keep them happy? If that's the way it is going to be I'll rather not be here anymore.

Talk about establishing the alumni choir. With this kind of attitude they have, nothing will be established.

20 plus years old adults and they can't handle a little criticism? I'm sorry, I'm not there to make you feel good about yourself.

Or do they resent me because I'm their junior? If any of them think they can do a better job, by all means, come tell me, I'll gladly hand over the baton.

/end rant.

I actually had a long, happy post about my Sunday thought out, but today really just spoilt my mood. So I'll just give a summary.

Visited Joan's church in the morning. Pretty much your normal charismatic church setting.

Saw HCV concert at VCH. Not bad.

Hung out with juniors. Ate, walked around, arcade, pool, secret recipe. Had fun. They are nice people all of them.

Sis drove me home.

Before I sign off, obligatory pitch for Cantab 06. 28May06 (this Sunday) 7:30pm @ ACS Barker Road Auditorium. $12/$18.

It probably won't be a fantastic concert, but maybe you'll like to come back to see old faces. Hah.

I just realise people who read this are mostly those singing, or those who already bought tickets. So that pitch was kinda unnecessary. Whatever.

2006-05-22T09:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think that God created women to frustrate men.

And all God-fearing men say, Amen!

By the way, I really feel like watching The Da Vince Code with a bunch of non-believers, so that I can interupt the movie every 2 minutes to point out all the factual errors. I think that will be fun. For me, that is. Probably not for the other movie goers.

I'm still trying to find my style of evangelising. Definately not the "feel-good" kind, though. I think controversies like Da Vince Code and Gospel of Judas etc presents a wonderful opportunity.

Oh ya, I need someone to learn Koine Greek with me. Any takers? Haha...

2006-05-15T09:26:00.001+08:00

How does one go about being friends with somebody whom he doesn't see often, hardly knows as a person, and never seems to be free enough to talk for extended preiods of time online?

Somebody teach me.

So last Thursday afternoon, out of the blue, Qianjin messaged me. Uh oh, I thought, must be something about Hope (church). And I was right! First he asked me how come he doesn't see me in church anymore. Well, how does one officially "quit" from a church, anyway? "Hi guys, I'm not coming to this church anymore, bye ya'll!"? In any case I have wondered from time to time what Daniel told the rest about me not going to Hope anymore, or even if he has told anybody at all? Not saying that I think he's bad-mouthing me in front of them or anything, cause he certainly is not that sort. Just that, I don't really think he'll tell them exactly the reason(s) I had, or the little argument (debate?) we had.

So QJ asked me if I would go back to Hope. And I told him that Hope is not the church I'm looking for, and briefly cited several issues I had with is and evangelical new-age churches in general. He replied with something interesting, along the lines of Hope being the only church he ever knew and stuff, and asked me to consider going back, saying that if I had doctrinal issues I should "teach" the church and help it to "grow" instead of leaving.

Now I had indeed considered going back and "exposing" all the dubious teachings they had. But my experience with Daniel right before I left stopped me. If he was typical of the church leaders, then there is not much I can do going back.

It's amazing how I have not backslided (much) after being church-less for so long. Everyone seemed to be shocked when I tell them "I don't have a church", but can't really answer me when I asked them what's wrong with not having a church. I think it's a wonderful experience. Everyone should take a break from church from time to time.

One of the bigger issues I have with Hope and other evangelical new-age churches is their advocating of a "personal relationship with Jesus". I never understood that, although I didn't really began to see the wrong of it until I started reading and doing my own study, that is, gaining knowledge from outside the church. Just how is one suppose to have a "personal relationship with Jesus", exactly? He is God, I am man. He is Perfect, I am Fallen. Evangelical churches advertise Jesus as a personal friend, like those $2 per minute friend chatlines. Facing problems? Talk to Jesus! Feeling down? Talk to Jesus! Jesus is your bestfriend!

It felt weird and wrong to me from the start, and now I can confidently tell these evangelical Christians: Jesus is your God - The Holy, Just, Righteous, Infinite, God. It's called reverence; start showing some.

An excerpt from an article titled "Leading Christian Myths":

"The modern hymn calls Jesus a "friend" and some may appeal to a verse in John where Jesus calls his disciples "friends". But the understanding of the word is decontextualized. People of the time of the Bible did not "get to know" each other as modern persons in the West do. A "friend" meant a person who looked out for your practical interests -- not someone you had beer and watched football with.

Even some preachers today (I am thinking of John MacArthur, but there are others) have lamented the modern view of God as a "buddy" as detracting from God's holiness. The result has been numerous corrupt theologies which see God as one who dispenses wealth like a gumball machine, and whose voice is constantly in one's head, sometimes defeating sound practice and doctrine but sometimes even just giving advice on what house to buy or what have you. This myth is a common one perpetrated by some persons of influence listed below.

But really, even a more common view can be misleading. Many evangelists speak of a "personal relationship with Jesus". The phrase is used to mean something not too far from the "God is my buddy" idea, in essence meaning we can talk to Jesus any time, and so on. If I had to correct this, I would say that what is required of us is a patronal relationship with Jesus. The NT explains our relationship with God in terms of a client-patron relationship, one in which God, as a client, is remote; and Jesus, as a broker, mediates between ourselves and God. Then we do have the indwelling Holy Spirit as a broker as well; but though the Spirit supplies us with mediation and perhaps power, there is nothing to show that the Spirit is some sort of intimate conversation partner. And finally, since people of the ancient world seldom "got to know each other" personally (as is taken for granted in modern, Western society) there is no way that NT writers could have had an idea like a "personal relationship with Jesus" in mind in the first place -- not as we perceive it.

Ironically, the view of God as a remote patron is the one that is most conducive to the view concerned Christians like MacArthur wish to see us return to. Perhaps then we would see a greater respect for God and His holiness, and less obsession with self-fulfillment, ranging from best-selling books having titles like The Purpose-Driven Life to our most popular songs being titled, "I Can Only Imagine" (focus on experience, not on fact)."

So will I go back to Hope? I don't really see myself doing so. Perhaps for a visit from time to time.

And, just for the record, I had a terrible weekend.

2006-05-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

Who's Your Type?

ChyeKeong, you're a Door!

Your type is the Girl Next Door

Cute, fun, and sweet, your ideal gal is just a stone's throw away — she's the Girl Next Door. She's Sandra Bullock, Doris Day, and Meg Ryan all rolled up into one. Naturally pretty rather than glamorous, she's unpretentious and generous. She loves animals and children, and is great with both. You're attracted to her strong values and traditional ways. Although she demands a lot of respect, she's not particularly high-maintenance. Her ideal date is more likely to be dinner and a movie than heading out for a night on the town. She's careful yet spontaneous — a little bit of the Guy's Girl, a smidge of Sorority Sister (the nice kind), and just a hint of the Hippie Chick. But she's got an appeal that's all her own, which is why you can't stay away. Her winning smile, bright eyes, and loving nature make you want to hold on tight and never let go.

What type are you? Find out!

2006-05-08T13:21:00.000+08:00

I have a crush on someone, and I'm absolutely hating the feeling.

Sure, it's somewhat nice. Your heart flutters, you feel warm and fuzzy inside, you keep stealing glances her way hoping she'll look back at the right moment. You observe her every movement and notice everything that is the same and different about her.

But then you also realise that you are really wasting your time, that you and her are so different that nothing will ever come out of it.

Blah.

So we had our very first, proper, alumni choir practice last Friday. Surprising turnout of I think 16 people. Pretty good for a first practice, I say. I feel young again among them, most of whom are older than me, haha! We don't sound too bad, so that's a relief!

It's really nice to see people coming back to sing again. Sometimes it's rather disappointing, that some people that you expect to see coming back, people that seemed to be so enthusiastic and interested in joining in the past (I'll not name names) turn out to be not really that interested after all. So to each and every one who is back for Cantab 06, a big THANK YOU to you all for your committment and passion!

Well, as Timmo has said, one is only young once. While I don't think I am that old yet, the Verona trip has really made me realise that I am getting older by the day. Seeing those bubbly kids with limitless energy made me feel slightly inadequate myself. But I'm also thankful for them, an extremely enjoyable bunch of people to be around. Hopefully I'll not be too old 2 years later, because I really want to go back to the Choir Olympics and get a Gold there! Then again, 2 years later there'll be a completely new batch of people in NJChoir. I just hope to see more alumni members joining the choir for overseas competition in the future. Really, it was an experienced not to be missed.

I wonder how many of the current year twos will I see back for carolling this year, and how many of them will stay on for Cantab 07.

2006-05-01T01:07:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to update about, really.

As you can see the post on Verona 2006 is still not up yet. That's because I haven't gotten the photos from Timmo yet!

I'm regretting a bit for not bringing my video camera there. Sigh. I also regret not using my own camera. Now I probably won't get to see all the pictures I took with other people using their camera! Sad.

They cancelled last Friday's practice. That was a bit disappointing. Never mind, I shall go on tuesday, using the excuse of returning my blazer and tie, but really just wanting to see everyone again, haha.

Saturday and today was spent lazing at home. Nothing productive. Eh, my life needs some fixing.

Tomorrow looks to be a lazy day as well. Enjoy the Labour Day break, ya'll.

2006-04-30T16:38:00.000+08:00

I am not confident that I will be able to do justice to the trip by blogging it. There is just so much that cannot be adequately espressed through mere words or pictures. It's such a phenomenal experience that you really had to have been there to comprehend it, as cliche as that sounds.

So bear with me and my rusty memory (growing older by the second, man!) while I try to present to you all that has happened for that amazing week in as much sense as I can manage.

I think the best way to start will be a chronological summary of the whole event, although my decaying memory will no doubt fail me somewhere in the middle.

((Happenings))

Warning: Long and incoherent paragraphs ahead.

We met at the airport at around 1730 on Monday evening. I had the luxury of a long weekend to prepare for the trip, gradually adjusting my bio-clock and what not (I took Monday off from work as well). I was on time; the kids were all there already. Boy, they are an excited bunch. Already you could see them happily snapping away. And mind you, this is the generation of 6.0 megapixels digital camera, and memory space certainly isn't an issue for most of them. I've already mentioned how photo-happy they all are. I'm not complaining, lots of them are well above average on the photogenic scale. Miss Lim was the late one, go figure!

Ms Chua was there to see us off! Such a pity that she won't be able to go together with us. NOt to be rude, but she's nicer than Ms Teo! Oops. Huacheng, Joan and Serene were also there. I bet they are all jealous that they won't be boarding the plane with us. Haha! There's always 2 years later *HINT* HC bought ricola for everyone, how nice!

We went into the holding area and had MacDonald's dinner. There, me and Timo began our quest to "get to know everybody", starting from the 4 seating right next to us.

The choir was divided into 12 groups of 4 for the duration of the trip (the teachers are fond of small groups somehow), but Timo and I were left out. I suspect that it was a cunning move on the teacher's part, bidding us to mingle around with everyone unrestricted by the groupings, which we happily exploited as you'll see.

The flight to Bangkok was uneventful. At the holding area in BKK, Miss Lim lays down her rules.

The flight to Milan was long and tiring. The plane was nice, though. We had individual screens! Beat that, FinAir! (We didn't have individual screens when we went Bremen in 2004.) First time I'm on a flight with personal screens, heh. Watched The Chronicals of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. Still found it as good of a show as I did when I first watched it in the theaters. Food was served, and it was time to sleep (enforced by the teachers). I tried to find a comfortable position but to no avail. So I was literally staring into blank space, sometimes drifting in and out of sleep, while most of the rest were busy snoring. Come breakfast time, everyone woke up and watched more movies and played more games. Not a bad flight all in all.

We touched down at around 0730 Milan time to an 8-degree weather. Blowing out mist while talking was quite cool. We checked out and met our tour guide, a lady named Zwenette (spelling notwithstanding). Headed to Milan city center for a short tour. There was this hugh, beautiful fountain, which of course set everyone snapping away. Then we went into the castle for a walkaround. The guide mentioned about the courtyard having amazing accoustics, and BAM! Here we go! Ave Verum Corpus in the middle of nowhere, earning us applause from strangers! First sign of jet-lagged voices.

Had lunch at a restorant enroute to our Hotel. After the eating, we began taking photos with the chef and waitress. Flashlights everywhere, you'll think some celebrity was having lunch there.

Reached our home for the next 5 days - Hotel Vittoria, Bardolino, Verona, Italy.

We toured the place a bit. Then we had a pretty bad practice. We were split 50-50 into 2 separate but nearby buildings. Me and Timo were in the annex. As guys we helped the girls carry their heavy luggages up the stairs to their rooms, the hotel having no lifts. Who says chivalry is dead! =D Lights out was at 2200, so not much off free time to speak about.

The second day was all about preparation for the competition. We woke up early, ate, and practiced. Not as bad as yesterday, but still not too good. Miss Lim's face turning blacker. Que Ms Teo's two cents. Mr Chia remains calm and composed. Can see a storm brewing (Bremen 04 people should know what I'm talking about!). Nonetheless, we were quite capable of enjoying ourselves, going out for some shopping and lunch. Timmo and I were with Louis, Andrew, Claudia and Chuwen, I think. Strolled along the lake and walked here and there amongst the shops. A very lovely place, I'm sure you all will agree with me.

Then we had more practice in the afternoon. Then dinner. Then some of us went for the opening ceremony. Those who were clearly falling sick stayed behind for an early bedtime. In any case, the opening ceromony was nothing fantastic. The theater looked like the set from King Kong, but apart from the rather nice architecture, the program was a bore. Lengthy introductions in 3 different languages grew weary after a while. When the performance finally started, we were already half asleep. After the first item, we quickly sneaked out; the whole program threatened to last till 1am, and we needed our beauty sleep for tomorrow! We ended up reaching the hotel at around 12am.

And the big day arrives! Had an okay warm up in the morning, then it's off to the competition grounds. There was a nervous jitter in the air. Everyone was rather tensed up; well, I was, anyway. We gathered at a holding place not far away, while Miss Lim and the SCs went to check out the theater where we will be singing in. Had a brief warm up. A few of the guys were trying to look for a toilet, but none was to be found. Miss Lim came back and told us about the bad accoustic, which was pretty much expected. Anyway, we headed to the theater and dumped our bags in the cloak room. The dancers changed into their costumes and we went to the holding room to wait.

Short practice at the rehearsal room, which had rather good accoustics, causing us to feel pretty good about ourselves, and boosted our confidence as well.

On stage. Nervous. I thought I wouldn't feel as nervous as I did. I think it's standing in the last row. I've always been in the front row, so was feeling quite uncomfortable behind. My legs were literally shaking as we started "As Vesta Was". Luckily the nervousness faded away quite rapidly. Still, standing at the back meant that I couldn't hear anyone else but myself. Tried to focus; could feel most of the rest doing that too. Miss Lim had a confused look on her face. She later confessed that the accoustic was so bad (a.k.a we sounded bad) that she didn't know what to do. The songs went by quickly. Last song - "Janger". Cil was fabulous as usual. His chanting was so chilling that I almost forgot to start singing when Miss Lim qued us in. The dance was quite well received as well, even though Amos shook a bit at the last pose.

So we had our 10 minutes of fame on stage. Quickly went out and back in among the audience to catch the next choir who was going to be singing Water Night. We experienced the bad accoustic for ourselves the first time. The poor twenty-plus-membered chamber choir on stage sounded thin and unimpressive. Their Water Night was nothing to speak of. We splitted up and found seats where they could be found, but the show started to get boring and I soon dozed off. We left after less than 1 hour, if I recall.

Grabbed our stuff and changed, then headed out for a tour around Verona. Highlight was visiting the balcony of Romeo and Juliet! Not to mention the statue.

Apparently, if a woman touches the hands, she will find a husband soon, and if a man touches the breasts, he will be virile forever!

Our tour guide left us on our own for a while after that. There wasn't much time, so we just grabbed gelato. Then it's back to the hotel for our own dinner.

Went back to the same restaurent as yesterday's lunch, this time with different people. Turns out that a lot of us were at the same place! The word must have spread that the restaurent served food fast. Me and Timmo sat with a bunch of girls; YuehHsin, JiaYun, Tiffany, Joanna, Emile and LingZi. Timmo ate a whole set meal, which came with white wine, which everyone soon had a sip or three. Some, like ZhiRui, had more than that. Oh, I forgot to mention. Some time before this we celebrated ZhiRui's birthday.

Anyhow, while waiting for the food, we went around taking photos with different people (as usual). Then the food came, and we finished it quite quickly, except for Timmo and his 3 course meal. The girls were hurrying him so that they could go shopping. We still ate until quite late though, so that by the time we left the restaurent there wasn't much time for any shopping at all, and most of the shops were closed anyway. So we went for - you've guessed it - gelato! We formed a human road block on our way to the supposedly best gelato shop in the area. The eight of us blocked the alley just nice. The gelato was, of course, great. The best thing about Italian gelato was the generous serving. Fantastic!

So we were heading back to the hotel, and met the waitress of the hotel! The very woman who served us our meals! After a few lost-in-translation exchanges, where we finally know that her name is Patricia, she motion for us to sing a song. By then we were joined by another group of people we met at the gelato shop, so there were quite a few of us there, enough for "As Vesta Was", which was what we sang. Even at that time of the night, we still managed to attract a few onlookers who stopped and listened to us. That's what I love about the culture there! In Singapore they will only complain about the noise you're making! Anyway our gelato were melting while we happily sang, so that I was half-singing and half-licking my gelato. I still ended up in a really messy state though, which earned me a joke-ish remark about how I needed to not eat gelato like a kid. We later find out that Patricia met Amos and company by the lake later, and they too broke out in song (with Amos accompanying) for her and others.

Back at the hotel we were chilling outside where there were tables and chairs. Amos was strumming away, Cheryl and company broke into "Fire", which everyone sang along anyway (catchy accompaniment). Then when everyone was present we celebrated ZhiRui's birthday again! There was more singing - we even sang National Dream with Amos on the guitar, which sounded rather good! Everyone was quite high after the competition is over, haha! The fatigue of the day caught up with me, so I didn't stay up till very late. Everyone else were tired as well; I think most slept early that night.

The next morning, we trekked 3km along the lake to the market place, not unlike our own pasar malam. As usual we were singing and snapping photos along the way, but the view was fantastic so I guess the photo-taking was justified. We went separate ways for free time in the market. At first it was just me and Timmo walking together, but we were soon joined by Amos and Cil, and then CJ, Sheena and Sixuan. There wasn't really much to shop. The things sold were not very different from what you might find in SG. So it was more of just walking around, enjoying the view and, yes, snapping photos.

At around 12 we headed back to the hotel, as the stalls were all closing anyway. Had lunch at a different restaurent, but it was pretty much the same food. After lunch and dumping our stuff back at the hotel, me and Timmo went back out to spend our free time. Amos was with us, together with his guitar. At this point I was determined to spend my money on things other than food. It was surprising that I actually managed to buy stuff while shopping with two other guys. In particular there was this little shop that sold small figurines and toys and stuff that were quite retro. Met a bunch of little kids kicking a ball around. We almost joined them, but didn't in the end.

We went to the docks and sat ourselves on this stone/marble table that was supposedly where the natives sold their fish back in the old days. Amos whipped out his guitar and started his thing, so the four of us were pretty much just sitting there and singing/harmonising. Took a while for us to warm up, but in the end we overstayed and had to run back for dinner at the hotel.

I can't remember what we did after dinner. I think we had a little practice in anticipation of the next day, where there will be the prize presentation and the Gold choirs would be asked to perform on stage. As Miss Lim said, "just in case we get Gold".

The next morning we left bright and early for the closing ceremony, sitting at the same place where we sat for the opening ceremony - a single row of circle seats in the third or fourth storey. The American choirs were behind and above us, and they were big and noisy, so we got reminded by the teachers not to make so much noise, especially if we managed to get Gold.

And so began the long and nervous wait. Somehow I thought it was more agonising a wait than that which we had before the competition. I was experienced in waiting for results now, and I don't really want to be disappointed again. Anyway Miss Lim, Cheryl and Mr Chia were seated on stage, and the flag bearers were standing in a row at the back with the flags of the nations represented. After a surprisingly brief introduction (in four languages no doubt), they started giving away the prizes, from Bronze to Silver, in reverse order of merit. It was a terrible wait. The process was such that the schools were announced only in Italian, and the flag bearer of the nation of the school would move to the front to wave the flag when they receive the prizes. As such, all our eyes were on the guy carrying our flag, silently willing him to not move. There were many occasions that he appeared to be moving out, fidgiting and looking to his left and right, so we got quite a scare a few times. Finally all the Silvers were given out, and we all breathed easier.

As it turned out, we did even better than we expected, coming in second and earning for ourselves also a Distinction in the set piece "Ave Verum Corpus", which was worth 500 euros. They also gave out a few special awards, like for best interpretation and best conductor. We didn't get any of that, but we were more than happy with our results already. Went up on stage to sing "El Hambo" and "Janger" which were quite well received. Sat through the performances by the rest of the Gold choirs, which was quite enjoyable.

We actually managed to interact with an American choir before the closing ceremony, which was the chamber choir that sang "Water Night". Nice bunch of people. Photos were taken, emails exchanged. Generally same age as us, but they were definately, erm, bigger. Haha.

Anyway after the closing ceremony all headed to the arena for mass singing of this Italian song. The arena had really good accoustics, which this choir (whose conductor, an african american, won the best conductor prize) quickly made use of, presenting quite a few songs. Sang the Italian song twice, and that's it. Quite a short affair. After much persuasion Miss Lim led us for "Janger" and "El Hambo", and as we left we sang "Lay a Garland".

After the whole affair, we changed into casual clothes and went our own ways for sight-seeing and shopping around the area. Walked around in a rather large group. We saw this man painting pictures on the road side, so we stopped for a while to admire his work, which was quite brilliant. Inadvertable, we started singing "Lay a Garland", which brought quite an appreciative crowd.

We also went back to the Juliet statue, where me and XianYong had a change to touch it (previously Timmo was the only guy who did). Then we sang again, this time both "Lay" and "Ave". Ah well, we're a choir after all, and suffering from post-Gold high! Haha!

Anyway after shopping around, a bunch of us bought the same "Romeo & Juliet" t-shirt in different colors; me (dark blue), Timmo (red), Hsin (yellow), Jia (orange), Mae (magenta), Pris (purple), Phoebe (green), and Ting (black). We all wore it on the last day. Power rangers! Haha!

In the evening we went to this little church for an exchange with an Italian choir and an Austrian choir. Quite a cosy place, the church. We sang "El", "Janger", had the a cappella groups ("Fire", "That Thing You Do", "Smooth Criminal", "Dui Ni Shuo"), then sang "Hey Jude" as finale where we sang and walked around shaking people's hands. Our program was a little weird for the church, but it was rather fun. After the singing we retired to a side room for some food and drinks, and of course, more impromptu singing. The Austrian choir was particularly fun. Considering our language difference, there was quite a high level of interaction. It was really a good experience.

By the time we reached the hotel it was almost 1am. Not many people slept, of course. Many had instant noodles party, playing cards and talking and stuff. Those that slept are either the very tired, the sick, or, like Hsin, the I-didn't-want-to-sleep-but-KOed-the-moment-my-head-hit-the-pillow. Haha. Me and Timmo slept quite early at around 3+am. Some stayed up till morning. Well, can't pretend I can match up to the stamina of the kids!

The next day we left for the airport soon after breakfast. Then it's onto the plane and the 14+ hours ride home!

Touch down at Changi Airport at around 12pm. Picked up by Dad and Sis (in her new car!). Reached home and KOed in bed.

Well that's basically it! I'm quite sure I left out some things here and there, but that can't be helped. Also, while the events described are fairly accurate, the chronological sequence may not be. Haha...

---

I think this post is becoming too long. I'll post my thoughts and reflections another day! And the photos as well! =)

2006-04-26T11:06:00.000+08:00

It's sad to be back.

This post will NOT be about the trip. Well, not much anyway. I intend to blog about the trip when I get the pictures from the rest. Being the extremely lazy me, I didn't bother to take ANY pictures myself even though I brought my camera along. The kids are just so photo-happy that there isn't any real need for me to contribute to the cam-fest. Anyway, it might be a long wait for all the photos to be uploaded, so don't hold your breadth!

A summary though, is in order. It was fun. It was GREAT fun. It was EXTREMELY fun. If there's a word to describe a higher-order fun, I'll use it. We got GOLD. We came in SECOND. The people are FANTASTIC.

One helluva good trip, I'll say. Thanks for the prayers from all!

Anyway my dad and sis came to pick me up. In her car. What rocks is that my sis will probably be flying off to UK or US in August for a training program for this company who is setting up shop in Jurong Island. Which means I get to keep the car for myself, if I can manage to pass my driving test in June.

Now, back to the sad reality of ordinary life. 8 more months to go!

2006-04-12T15:54:00.000+08:00

Bearly Believer

An atheist was hiking in the forest one sunny day.

"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he exclaimed. As he walked along the river's edge he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a ten foot grizzly bear charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. Glancing over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart pumping frantically, he tried to run even faster but tripped and fell on the ground. He tried to pick himself up but the bear was already upon him. With a deafening roar,the grizzly raised his massive paw to deal the death-blow.

At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.

A blinding light shone upon the man and a resonant voice filled the forest, saying, "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others that I don't exist, and even credit my creation to a cosmic accident. Why do you expect me to help you? Have you now become a believer?"

Realizing his predicament, the atheist held up his hand to shield his eyes from the light and decided to cut a clever deal, saying, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly claim to be a Christian but perhaps you could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out and the sounds of the forest resumed.

The bear stopped in mid-swing, lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke.

"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful. AMEN."

2006-04-06T10:47:00.000+08:00

My package came yesterday! Finally!

When David Heard
Water Night
Leonardo Dreams of His Flying Machine
Three Flower Songs
Three Songs of Faith
A Boy and a Girl

Leonardo is my favourite. =) It's such a colorful piece! And the music itself is fantastic!

Leonardo Dreams of His Flying Machine
Charles Anthony Silvestri

Tormented by visions of flight and falling,
More wondrous and terrible each than the last,
Master Leonardo imagines an engine
To carry man up into the sun...

And as he's dreaming the heavens call him,
Softly whispering their siren-song:
"Leonardo, Leonardo, vieni a volare."

L'uomo colle sua congiegniate e grandi ale
facciendo forza contro alla resistente aria.

As the candles burn low he paces and writes,
Releasing purchased pigeons one by one
Into the golden Tuscan sunrise...

And as he dreams, again the calling,
The very air itself gives voice:
"Leonardo, Leonardo, vieni a volare."

Vicina all' elemento del fuoco...
Scratching quill on crumpled paper
(Rete, canna, filo, carta.)
Images of wing and frame and fabric fastened tightly.
...sulla suprema sottile aria.

As the midnight watchtower tolls,
Over rooftop, street and dome,
The triumph of a human being ascending
In the dreaming of a mortal man.

Leonardo steels himself,
Takes one last breath, and leaps...
"Leonardo vieni a volare! Leonardo, sognare!"

When the alumni grows large enough I'll make them sing the Three Songs of Faith together in one sitting. Woot.

2006-04-05T10:24:00.000+08:00

8 Characteristics of a Counterfeit Christian Church

by Eric Johnson

www.mrm.org

With the leaders of thousands of different religions and churches attempting to make their beliefs appear authentic, it behooves a person to carefully ascertain truth from error. In fact, many leaders of these faiths may call themselves "Christian" and even attempt to convert Christians into their churches.

After all, Jesus Himself said in Matthew 7:15, "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." This is why John warned the believers in 1 John 4:1 to "believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." And 1 Thessalonians 5:21 adds, "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good."

Jesus told the Pharisees in Matthew 23:27 that they were "like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness." How can we tell whether or not a particular religious leader (like the Pharisees) ought to be believed, especially when such a person may appear authentic and even claim to be Christian? Let's then consider eight basic doctrinal characteristics of counterfeit groups.

1. Denial in the true nature of God. The rejection of fundamental Christian tenets such as the historical definition of God should be a major warning sign to any perceptive believer. Groups that deny the Christian viewpoint of the deity of Christ and the Trinity typically follow in point-by-point succession each of the other characteristics in this article. One example is The Way International, a group founded by Victor Paul Wierwille, (He once served as a former evangelical pastor. In fact, several cult leaders had their start in authentic Christian denominations and churches.) Wierwille's view of God is Unitarian rather than Trinitarian as he denies that there are three persons in the Godhead. He also claims that Jesus was not God, teaching that the deity of Christ was not a Christian teaching for the Christian church's first 300 years. This is a common (though false) assertion of many cult leaders. Because Wierwille and his church deny the very essence of what makes God who He is, this is a group to avoid.

2. Works-emphasis salvation. Although a counterfeit's doctrine may include the idea that God's grace is important in the role of salvation, the leader normally emphasizes the idea that "salvation" ultimately comes through one's own efforts. Take the Hare Krishna devotees, for instance. These dedicated followers believe that they are in the middle stage of their reincarnation cycle. The way for a dedicated devotee to be born into the next level of existence is to deny himself on this earth while performing good works, including the repetition of the Hare Krishna mantra a total of 1,728 times a day. It may take a devotee who wakes up at 4 A.M. several hours a day to maintain this goal. Those who belong to such work-oriented groups are normally told that they can never know if their works are good enough to please God; instead, they are told to keep trying even harder.

3. The true church. Counterfeit Christian churches often make it a point to cast doubt and suspicion on other churches or denominations, with the leader oftentimes claiming that only his church is true. While many groups hold that the Christian churches do have partial truth, it is taught that full truth has somehow been lost and can now only be found in the "one true church." This may involve utilizing Christian terminology while having a different meaning behind those particular words. An example is the Watchtower Society, also known as the Jehovah's Witnesses. This group, founded by Charles Taze Russell in the 19th century, teaches that those who belong to any church outside of "Jehovah's" church are doomed to annihilation. Only those who belong to the Watchtower organization have a chance to attain "Paradise Earth." This is why Jehovah's Witnesses are adamant in sharing their faith door to door, even attempting to convert those who already attend Christian churches. The Jehovah's Witnesses will often use words that sound reasonable to a nominal Christian (i.e. "Jehovah's Christian Witnesses," "salvation," "Jesus Christ," etc), but they are usually reluctant to tell potential converts that the meanings behind these words are completely different than what has been historically meant.

4. Authoritative leadership. A group where the leader(s) has an authoritative role, even to the extent that they say they speak for God, is another cause for concern. Such leaders claim to have special revelation with God, and their words hold special precedence over their followers. A classic example is Jim Jones, who led almost 1,000 followers to their deaths in the jungle of Guyana in 1978. When men in his charge killed Rep. Jim Ryan (D-CA), a congressman who was visiting "Jonestown" in response to complaints from the relatives of church members, Jones called for his followers to drink cyanide-laced Kool-Aid. The majority of the people willingly followed his commands because they had come to accept his words as truthful and from God. Those who refused were shot. Trusting someone so much that you listen to any command, even to the point of moving to another country and then taking your own life, is something that God never intended.

5. Regimented giving requirement. Another heretical trait is when a church regulates the giving of its people or requires a certain amount of financial giving in order to receive certain privileges related to salvation. For example, the Church of Scientology teaches that people need to discover their true nature through a process called "auditing." This is accomplished by "clearing Engrams" from one's life. One Los Angeles Times article on Scientology religion estimated that it would cost a full "Operating Thetan 8" participant between $200,000 to $400,000 from the beginning of the lessons to the completion. Without these courses, the adherent is unable to clear himself of these unwanted "Engrams." Using finances as a requirement to reach salvation goals is much different than what Jesus, Paul, and Peter preached.

6. Loss of salvation for leaving. Many counterfeit Christian churches insist that if a member decides to leave the group, for whatever reason, they jeopardize their salvation before God. One group with such a belief is the Boston Church of Christ, also known as the International Churches of Christ. The leaders of the ICC teach that there should only be one church in any particular city, which they say is the New Testament model. Members who decide to leave are considered spiritually lost and their salvation is considered negated. This is true even for those who leave because they decide to attend a Christian church outside the ICC network. Since the ICC does not recognize the baptisms of other denominations, and since the doctrine of baptism is considered a necessity in order to receive salvation, leaving the ICC negates the baptism that was given when the person joined the church. Holding a person's salvation hostage in such a way is certainly not biblical.

7. Authority beyond the Bible. Although the Bible is sometimes utilized and even considered beneficial by a number of counterfeit groups, it is not considered as a completely authoritative scripture. Therefore, extrabiblical writings are necessary. Normally these scriptures are considered to have more authority than the dated Bible. The Christian Science religion is one example. Those who inquire into this religion are told that Mary Baker Eddy's 1875 pantheistic book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures is a "reference book for life," which is needed by a person who hopes to discover "practical, spiritual answers for health and healing, security, and lasting relationships." This book must be studied in order to ascertain full truth. When the Bible contradicts Eddy's book, then the Bible is considered to be wrong or misunderstood.

8. Unique truths never before revealed. The idea that a hidden mystery or new truth is available through a particular church should be taken as a strong sign that this group is a counterfeit Christian religion. In addition, many such groups may change their doctrines over time. Christians believe that God has very clearly shown His truth through the pages of the Bible; therefore, new or fluctuating doctrine—especially that which contradicts the Bible—ought to be taken with a great deal of caution. The Unification Church (numerous front names include "Association of Families for Unification and World Peace" or "Family Federation for World Peace and Unification") was founded by Korean "Rev." Sun Myung Moon. He teaches that Jesus never fulfilled his mission. Therefore, Moon says that he was commissioned to finish the job that Jesus never finished. Moon's followers (often known as "Moonies") accept Moon as a Christ-like representative on earth whose teachings supersede the Bible. The Unification Church theology has evolved over time, and there may be some drastic changes once he dies in the very near future.

Conclusion Not all counterfeits may be characterized by every one of these traits. However, a person should be cautious when considering a church that is marked by one or two of these characteristics, especially any of the first three in the list. Churches with three or more of the above characteristics ought to be avoided at all cost. In addition, there are some Christian churches that may not have doctrinal problems but are rather sociological abusers. For instance, some churches have controlling "discipleship" programs or church memberships with high levels of guilt or feelings of inadequacy. These types of groups also ought to be avoided. If you believe that your church has problems in either doctrinal or sociological areas, you would be wise not to get involved. If you are already a member, you need to consider leaving. As John 8:32-33 says, "Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

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Funny how many of these points can be applied to the RCC, even though the article is probably talking about the LDS. Things like work-emphasis salvation, claiming to be the true Church of Christ, papal infallibility, salvation only for RCC members and extra-biblical authority (sacred tradition).

Do I think the RCC is more cult-ish than Christian? Yes. But most Catholics I've met are not even aware of some of the teachings of the RCC.

Hmm.. Reading Cher's blog makes me feel like going ice-skating! Haha..

2006-04-04T12:53:00.000+08:00

"Young people are not interested in politics." - Mr Fong Chin Leong, Singapore Democratic Alliance

I ask a question of my own in reply. "Do we have a reason to?"

Serious, why do people always have to bring that up when talking politics in Singapore? As if it's such a terrible thing? So what if I'm not interested in politics? It's a loaded question presuming politics is interesting, which I beg to differ.

I'm not ashamed to confess that I do not give two hoots about politics, Singapore or otherwise. Go ahead and classify me under "apathetic Singaporean youth who don't care".

I don't really think it's such a big deal. Truth to be told, PAP is doing a wonderful job, in my opinion. There is no major policy that I know of that I can honestly say I'll disagree with. Or maybe I'm just ignorant.

On "Is it necessary to have an opposition in Singapore?":

"If it's just one party, we are looking at a communist state. Democracy requires opposition." - Mr Muhd Ali Aman, Singapore Democratic Alliance

"If there is no opposition, can you call it a true democracy? We need the opposition for checks and balances. We cannot let the ruling party get complacent." - Mr Fong Chin Leong, Singapore Democratic Alliance

Seriously, do anyone else see the problem with these 2 people's statement? "Democracy requires opposition"? Laughable. Shows why the Singapore Democratic Alliance is not the ruling party.

Let me illustrate how Mr Muhd managed to contradict himself with just 3 words. An ideal, perfectly democratic society will, by defination, NOT have any opposition, because there simply is nothing to oppose. Imagine a perfectly democratic government, occupied by a single ruling party. In an ideal situation, all policies made, all decisions, all laws, indeed all things done in the name of the government will by defination be done in a completely democratic manner, which leave no room for opposition, because a purely and totally democratic decision-making system is what everyone (is assumed to) want.

Hence, by defination, a perfect democracy necessitate that there is zero opposition. We have opposition simply because the system is not perfect yet. It will never be, of course, but we see that the chief end of a democratic system is to have no opposition, because everything is done in a manner that everyone agrees upon.

People say there is no political freedom in Singapore. Are they nuts? Do they see the situation in Thailand and go, "Gee, how nice would it be if we could form a 40,000 strong rally and march from Istana all the way down Orchard Road"? Or, looking at France, go "Wow, I wish the NUS/NTU/SMU students would stage a mass protest against the fee hikes, shout some slogans and burn some cars"? These people have no idea what they are asking for.

Do I care about the coming election? Discounting the fact that I can't actually vote, the answer is most definately NO. What I DO care about, though, is that fact that I, at 20 years of age, is not eligible for the progress package. All I got was a measly $100 that goes to each NSF.

Damn you, PAP, why can't you give out the package next year!!!?

2006-04-03T17:43:00.000+08:00

Soundscape 2006.

Successful? Depends on how you see it.

Most of the participants (a.k.a the kids) seem to think it was. In fact I'll say all of them thought they did great! All the teachers thought they did great as well. So did Ai Hooi. So did many of the seniors who were there watching.

Makes me wonder, what would Ashleigh think of the concert if she had been there?

I wonder what yardstick they use when they deem Soundscape 2006 a success.

If it's about ticketing, sure, 90+% filled LT5 is pretty good in my book. As I told Angela and Stef, our batch and our seniors could not even fill LT1 back in 2003.

If it's about pleasing the crowd, it was successful too. They obviously loved the A cappella groups, and the Amos solo show.

If it's about the logistics of things, it was rather successful too, save for a few (expected) hiccups here and there. Nothing too serious.

If it's about show the world that they could run a concert all by themselves, well they certainly did.

And if it's about the music?

People always like to say, "it doesn't matter what the end result is, so long as we've tried our best and enjoyed ourselves in the process".

Technically I can't disagree with that, if I want to remain "politically soccret", so to speak.

But really, people just seem to use it as a crutch.

The music wasn't fantastic. I don't think anyone will disagree with me on that. What worries me is that everyone seemed to be happy with their performance. Why is that? Are they all that easily contented? Teachers aside, is Ai Hooi so easily contented as well? I'm quite sure if I had been singing, I would not have been happy about the performance. At all.

This is why we will never match up to the standard of VJC, or ACJC, or VC. Because we are too easily contented with ourselves.

And I actually have alumni members saying "I'm interested in singing for Cantab, but I'm not really keen on coming for practices." I mean, really, you want to sing, but don't want to practice?

/boggle

2006-03-30T10:20:00.000+08:00

Alpha-Beta-Gamma-Delta-
Epsilon-Zeta-Eta-Theta-
Iota-Kappa-Lambda-Mu-Nu-Xsi-
Omikron-Pi-Rho-Sigma-Tau-
Upsilon-Phi-Chi-Psi-Omega

Greek phonology is driving me mad.

2006-03-28T10:37:00.000+08:00

I find that I'm really just living my life looking forward to weekend after weekend. It's like I'm zombie-walking through the weekdays, doing nothing but mind-numbing work while anticipating the coming Saturday and Sunday.

9 more months to ORD.

At least there are still driving lessons, choir practices, and Greek alphabets to look forward to.

Timo is now President of the NJChorale. No surprises there. Congratulations! Maybe with a male President we can finally attract more female singers!

Speaking of which, girls still needed for Cantab. Come on! If not, our poor Tenors will be forced to sing alto!

Checklist:
1) Clothes for general use.
2) Sweater for Verona trip.
3) Greek-English Lexicon.
4) Fiction book for the annoyingly long flight to come.
5) iPod or similiar. I think I'll borrow from someone, though, due to severe lack of resources. Any kind souls around?
6) Eric Whitacre scores (still waiting for them to arrive).
7) Eat more.
8) Read more.
9) Sleep more.
10) Watch "Ultraviolet".
11) Go blading/cycling/skating.
12) Go KBox.
13) Practice easier piano pieces instead of forever trying for impossible ones.
14) Finish Lost Season 2 (thanks Benghee!).
15) Buy/Download Grey's Anatomy Season 1 + 2.
16) Re-Read Song of Ice and Fire.
17) Know the choir kids better.
18) Meet old classmates.
19) Meet old choir friends.
20) Meet God.

I think more than half the list have no hopes of materialising. More like a wishlist, eh. Heh.

Work a-calling.

2006-03-27T09:10:00.000+08:00

Zoo's fun!

I should be happy. A random, half-joking idea becomes reality. How often does that happen?

Most of the animals were just plain lazy, just sitting on their asses instead of walking around and strutting their stuff. Must be the afternoon heat.

Weather wasn't that bad. It threatened to rain constantly, but except for a light drizzle here and there, the weather was actually rather cooling.

So, uhh.. Bird park next? Haha..

Drama in the office again. I can't believe how bitchy a bunch of NSFs can be. Man, some people just need to grow up. Can't say much unless I want the SAF to come after me for blogging sensitive, work related materials.

Just realised we don't have original scores for "I Sing You Sing" and "Pasigin". Like that how to conduct? I still don't like "I Sing You Sing". It's such a childish song. I don't really like "El Hambo" as well. And "Janger". Hmm. Guess I prefer the serious stuff more.

Really hoping that when everyone comes back for practice they'll have learnt their parts properly. I don't really want to throw people out for not knowing their parts, especially because they are all my seniors. >_<

Oh, I've been trying to teach myself Koine Greek. I don't really have any aptitude for languages. I can't even remember the 24 letters in order yet. Guess I won't be reading the LXX or doing any NT exergesis anytime soon.

3 weeks more to Verona. Maybe I should be learning Italian instead.

2006-03-16T10:19:00.000+08:00

When friendship fades and fizzles out, who's fault is it?

Is it a case whereby both parties still want to hang on to the friendship, but neither willing to take the initiative?

Or is it the sadder case of one party deciding that the friendship is not worth the time anymore, and drifts away?

It is one thing to lose hi-and-bye friends. Indeed they can hardly be called friends at all. It is an entirely different thing to realise that someone whom you thought you knew suddenly seems strange; someone whom you've shared so many things with suddenly seems cold and distant; someone whom you thought you had so many things in common with suddenly seems so different.

I've known many friends over the years, but not a single one can I point to and confidently say that I know the person inside out. Nor do anyone know me perfectly. Is it impossible to have a friendship that is totally sincere, honest, open, loving and selfless? When will I have a taste of that? Perhaps, in Heaven.

While having driving lesson yesterday I listened to the radio host starting a discussion with the question, "How long did you wait before saying to your partner 'I love you'?". Or, "How long did you wait before your partner said to you 'I love you'?".

I think good things are always worth waiting, and in some cases, suffering for. I'm glad I've never said 'I love you' (in the romantic sense) to anyone, because I want to really mean it when that happens.

How wonderful it is, for Jesus to have waited more than 2000 years for me to love Him.

And it's not too late, isn't it. Good things are never too late; they are merely waiting for the right moment.

And when the moment comes, when you meet the real Friend, the real Lover, you'll know that the wait has been worth it.

2006-03-15T14:44:00.000+08:00

Workshops are always fun.

Some guy who's first name rhymes with "curry".

I like what he did with "Lay A Garland". It fitted with what I had in mind for the song. I never liked how AiHooi did it, always asking us to "move" and not be draggy, and missing out the finer details that makes the whole delivery more subtle and elegant. I liked his slow, "lean back" approach, and the more dramatic flair towards dynamics changes.

I liked his El Hambo too. I always hoped for a more fun and silly approach to the song. I think the clapping needs changing; it looks too boring right now, and doesn't fit with our crazy delivery anymore.

I didn't like his As Vesta Was, though. Probably because I don't know much about 15th century english pieces. Didn't really feel right to me. Liked AiHooi's version better.

I wished he had done some warm ups with us though. It's always interesting, the kind of warm ups these conductors come up with.

Think I'm getting excited for Verona already! =D

2006-03-06T15:39:00.000+08:00

Thanks Wenlin!

Another week has passed. Nothing much happened. It was just like any other week.

Saturday's choir practice with the Verona group was rather nice. Ai Hooi is starting to drill us, so we are making some progress, finally. Liked the intensity of the practice. My ears were getting blocked so it was rather irritating. We paid the remainder of the cost for the trip. I am now officially $2240 poorer. =(

I have decided to just sing and keep my comments to myself unless asked, and I am trying my very best to accomplish that. It's not easy, though.

Suddenly it seems extremely likely that the alumni will be presenting itself at Cantab 06 after all. The plan is for a 3-song item. The numbers I reported to Ai Hooi are 10 sops, 8 altos, 7 tenors, and 5 basses. Rather optimistic, but we'll see if Timo can continue pulling rabbits out of his hat. =)

Mondays are for wishing you have done more productive things during the weekend. >_<

2006-03-02T10:49:00.000+08:00

I typed a long and angry post.

I deleted it.

And replaced it with this:

"My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever." - Psalm 73:26

2006-02-27T17:02:00.000+08:00

So I watched Munich with Feli on Sunday.

It was a rather nice show. Not jaw-dropping, eyes-glued-to-the-screen nice, but still pretty good. Better than "War of the Worlds", certainly. I quite like this kind of serious shows; feel like it's more worth the money. But of course from time to time one also needs a dose of brainless humor, or boy-meets-girl kind of romantic comedy.

I expected more violence in the show though, given it's M18 rating (Feli was NOT checked! No comments on the Ez-Link card photo *ahem*). I guess the director was more focused on the tension and moral dilemmas. Incidentely, I think one must never forget to turn the handphone to silent mode during movies, if one wishes to avoid the embarrassing moment where the whole theater is dead quiet in a moment of all-seriousness, and then hearing 'message for you darling!' (think Edna Mode from The Incredibles) coming out from your handbag. Yup.

It's Monday, start of a new week. Choir practices on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Driving on Thursday. Who says I have no life!? All I need is more activity during weekends.

Weekends. More activity.

In case nobody realised, that was a shameless plea for a date. Haha!

2006-02-25T11:14:00.000+08:00

I have less than 10 contacts in my handphone now, including my mom, dad, sisters and boss.

I think it's nice. All those people that I have long wanted to delete are no longer there.

Serving extra now in the office. Just some cleaning jobs. Pah. Boring as hell. Not to mention my whole Saturday is GONE. And there's NTU concert today! The kids are guest singing 3 songs! The dance for Janger is so nice la! Damn I was super impress by the dancers last evening. Hope their performance tonight goes well!

Well at least I've got a date tomorrow =D

Ok gotta go clean the toilets now!

2006-02-21T22:07:00.000+08:00

I lost my phone. On the bus.

Bleh.

So. If you want me to have your number, please either tag me (-->), or sms me.

Thanks!

2006-02-19T00:15:00.000+08:00

Choir prac today. Bright and early in the morning from 9 to 12. Luckily I slept (relatively) early last night.

I was almost late, because I went down to 6th avenue to get some coffee before going to NJ. Can't be helped - coffee is essential!

In any case I was hardly the latest to arrive. Many more were streaming in in 2s and 3s. Teachers starting collecting money, which took a good 40 minutes. Unbelivable, that simply collecting cheques can take so long. Nobody seemed in any urgency to start the practice.

I don't really understand the philosophy of Miss Lim and the teachers. They seem to subscribe to the "less is more" mentality. I would have thought that, given the "lesson" we had in Bremen, they would have learnt. Personally I believe one of the chief reasons why we didn't do well in Bremen was because we had too little practices, and towards the end the teachers and Miss Lim kept trying to keep practices less and less because they were afraid that we would tire out.

To me, hard work pays well.

Anyway I was rather uncomfortable during practice. I must say that most of the people were rather nice people. It's just that there's still this gap between us, which I hope to remedy soon.

It's the singing I am more concerned about.

Now, we didn't sound bad necessarily. But, anyone who knows me well enough knows that in choir, I simply cannot allow myself to just stand there and sing while not caring about the music of everyone else. So, I shall make a list of things that I don't like, so far.

1. I think generally everyone needs to be more focused towards the competition. Granted, it's still 2 months away. But speaking from experience it's really not too early to start being serious now.

2. Need more sectionals, I think. I'll have to try to make it for Wednesday sectionals.

3. SCs really can afford to do more. Both Cherie and Dewei. It's not how they conduct that I'm concerned about. It's the way they take the combined sessions. When I standing there singing can pick up twice as many mistakes as the SC, surely something is wrong somewhere. Currently they like to sing through the whole song, then make some general comments at the end, like "Sops need to be more musical" or "Tenors have split notes", then make us sing through the whole thing again. It really is not very helpful. I agree that singing through the whole song helps, and is necessary to get used to simply singing the whole piece through. But not now. Now we need to be stopped when there are mistakes, so that we can actually revise and remember and take note of the weak passages, and make sure we get what Miss Lim wants, which is the whole purpose of practicing with SCs when Miss Lim's not around anyway.

4. Need longer and more practices. Enough said.

Well well..it seems like I'm bitching about SCs again. Sometimes I think I just have something against SCs. I didn't like what Stef and Liting did, and I don't like what Cherie and Dewei are doing now. But it's not like I'm against them personally. Or that I hate all SCs. Remember Bingzhu from Huachong Voices? Now HE is what I call a really good SC. Conducts well and clearly, gives good musical advice, commands the respect of the rest, not boring in front, jokes around in good humor, strict enough when necessary. The best I've ever seen.

Everyone has a part to play. It's a team effort after all. I hope I can at least manage to bond relatively well with the rest of the singers before the trip.

I WANT TO WIN THIS TIME DAMNIT!!! =D

2006-02-15T10:32:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day ain't that bad. There was some consolation towards the end of the day.

I seriously cannot stand reading blogs written in anything other than proper English. For God's sake, the shift key is only a few centimeters away, so use it! It's not that troublesom to capitalise your sentences. And "..." is an ellipsis, while ".........................." is just a stuck "." key. And not to mention, all the short form and internet slang people use. Gah. I'm not asking for Nobel-Prize-for-Literature-worthy posts, just complete sentences with proper puntuations and spelling. Of all the blogs I read (not many), I think only Chinyaw and Timo writes properly. Kudos to you two!

From now on I will boycott all blogs (bar a select few =D) not written in proper English.

It feels terrible to have to adhere to a bedtime. I haven't had that since lower secondary school, where my mom just gave up on me and my elder sis. We two are the certified night owls of the family. 2, 3am nights are rather common for us. Now I have a tyrant (is there a feminine form of the word 'tyrant'?) breathing down my neck and compelling me to go to bed by 11:30pm. =( Haha... But I really do appreciate the concern.

I feel like a bum these days. Haven't exercise any at all. Had not had any badminton games for 3 weeks or so. Very unhealthy for a DM patient like me. Anyone up for any outdoor activities?

I'll leave you all with this super nice a cappella worship song!

Wonderful Merciful Savior
Praise & Harmony A Cappella

Wonderful merciful savior
Precious redeemer and friend
Who would have thought that a Lamb could
Rescue the souls of Man
Oh You rescue the souls of Man

Counselor comforter keeper
Spirit we long to embrace
You offer hope when our hearts have
Hopelessly lost our way
Oh we've hopelessly lost our way

Chorus
You are the one that we praise
You are the one we adore
You give the healing and grace our
Hearts always hungered for
Oh our hearts always hungered for

Almighty infinite Father
Faithful and loving your own
Here in our weakness You find us
Falling before Your throne
Oh we're falling before Your throne

You are the one that we praise
(You are the one that we praise)
You are the one we adore
(You are the one we adore)
You give the healing and grace our
Hearts always hungered for
Oh our hearts always hungered for

2006-02-14T09:39:00.000+08:00

So it's Valentine's Day today.

Excuse me while I wallow in sadness, loneliness and self pity.

On the other hand, I'm rather glad that I do not have to spend half my NS allowance buying gift and going on a date with my partner.

I'm positively tired of running around chasing this elusive dream of Love. I shall henceforth endeavor to focus my energy on more important things.

"For the pagan world runs after all such (earthly) things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well." Luke 12:30-31

Taking a page our of C.S. Lewis, from The Four Loves:

"There is no escape along the lines St Augustine suggests ('This is what comes,' he says, 'of giving one's heart to anything but God. All human beings pass away. Do not let your happiness depend on something you may lose. If love is to be a blessing, not a misery, it must be for the only Beloved who will never pass away.' -St Augustine, Confessions IV, 10). Nor along any other lines. There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in a casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the danges and perturbations of love is Hell."

And furthur into the chapter:

"God is love. Again, ;Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us' (1 John 4:10). We must not begin with mysticism, with the creature's love for God, or with the wonderful foretastes of the fruition of God vouchsafed to some in their earthly life. We begin at the real beginning, with love as the Divine energy. This primal love is Gift-love. In God there is no hunger that needs to be filled, only plenteousness that desires to give. The doctrine that God was under no necessity to create is not a piece of dry scholastic speculation. It is essential. Without it we can hardly avoid the conception of what I can only call a 'managerial' God; a Being whose function or nature is to 'run' the universe, who stands to it as a headmaster to a school or a hotelier to a hotel. But to be sovereign of the universe is no great matter to God. In Himself, at home in 'the land of the Trinity', he is Sovereign of a far greater realm. God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them. He creates the universe, already foreseeing the buzzing cloud of flies about the cross, the flayed back pressed against the uneven stake, the nails driven through the mesial nerves, the repeated incipient suffocation as the body droops, the repeated torture of back and arms as it is time after time, for breath's sake, hitched up. If I may dare the biological image, God is a 'host' who deliberately creates His own parasites; causes us to be that we may exploit and 'take advantage' of Him. Herein is love. This is the diagram of Love Himself, the inventor of all loves."

2006-02-13T13:34:00.000+08:00

I'm going to Verona! It's confirmed!

I hope it will be worth it. 7 days is rather short, I think, for the 2.2k pricetag. But it's Italy, damn it.

I'm paying for the trip myself, so it bloody well better be worth it.

I can't help but few a little apprehensive about the whole thing. Obviously I'm not as close to the people as I was when we went Bremen. Heck, on bad days I even get confused with who's who among the year twos, let alone the ones. (Clarification: year twos as in the old people, and ones as in the new people.) And it doesn't help that I really feel dwarfed beside Timo.

Well. The songs are nice, the people are (so far) great, I don't foresee any major issues. The only thing lacking is the presence of MR ANG. OMG. I really miss having him around in choir. And I'm sure I'll miss him in Verona.

Anyway, flight's on 19 April, Monday night. It's pretty confirmed so I don't think there'll be much changes. And after careful considering I've decided NOT to take leave on that day. Must save for December, haha.

So who wants to come and send me (us) off!?

Wheeeeee Verona here I come!

2006-02-09T09:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night I came to the conclusion that I cannot effectively persuade people to blog more often if I do not do so myself.

Obviously. Must set example myself first, right? If I myself blog once per fortnight, how can I ask others to blog more? Kind of like the fat doctor asking the patient to exercise more, right? (That's a real life example, by the way.)

So I've changed my blog skin yet again. I kinda like it. Switching back to a Christian-based skin feels exceptionally good.

Uhh... I shall blog a bit on CNY. Considering my previous post that may seem a little off chronologically, but bear with me.

Every time CNY comes it's like a massive congregation of aunties and uncles and cousins. I'm rather blessed with large familes on both sides. My father has 2 brothers and 2 sisters, and they account for the 11 cousins that I have. Now in line with Chinese tradition, cousins on the father's side is further divided into "tang2 xiong1 mei4" and "biao3 xiong1 mei4", which basically refers to kids of the sons and kids of the daughters respectively. Admittedly, I can only considered to be close to my cousin Vincent, since we are both boys of similar ages (I'm one year older). The others are either too young (lower secondary, preschool) or too old (married, university).

Which is why it's rather weird to see all of them gathering at Ah Ma's house on the first day of CNY, as is traditional. We don't really have to pretend to like each other, because we do, to some extent anyway. It's just that I personally have never took any initiative whatsoever to maintain a closer relationship with any of them than courtesy requires. But it's all good, though. We did the usual, ate mian4 sian4, offered joss sticks, played black jack and ate all the CNY goodies. And collected ang baos.

There was something new this year, though. My oldest cousin and his wife brought along a pair of puppies. And they were adorable (the puppies, not the couple). The pair basically ran around the house pawing people, and combing the floor for food scraps. They were even wearing cute doggie clothes. All in the name of the Year of the Dog.

I forgot about the reunion dinner. We had it at this "Fatty Weng Restaurent" at the Badminton Association. Food was rather good, but given the S$688+++ price tag, that's to be expected. Cousin Grace, who is same age as my sis, had her boyfriend along. Interesting. I think my sister is going to be left on the shelf unless she outgrows her childish ways soon. Haha. Anyway, reunion dinner with 29 other people is rather re4 nao4.

After the obligatory gathering at Ah Ma's house in the morning, we went separate ways to visit our respective relatives at mother's side. For us, we went back upstairs to our home to wait for some aunties. A large family at my mother's side too; she has 6 sisters and 1 brother. A pity that both grandparents are gone, one long before I was born, the other days before I was born. Since there are so many aunties we call them by numbers according to chronological order. So the eldest would be "da4 yi2" and then "er4 yi2" and "san1 yi2"(my mom) and so on. So we went to da4 yi2's house and proceeded with the routine: eating CNY goodies, and playing black jack and mahjong.

Although I have less cousins on my mother's side, I'm much closer to them as compared with the cousins on my father's side. I have no explanation. I do know, however, that I like my aunties and uncle better on my mother's side. Because they are generally nicer people, and we do not have that large of a generation gap in terms of our thinking and ideas. And they are so much fun, always. 3 small kids, two of them primary 4 this year and one just starting primary 1. The 2 older kids are rather naughty now. They have this territorial game that they like to play together with the small one, where they occupy the room (no matter whose house they are in), and thereafter whoever steps in to "their" room would be the "monster" and be, if lucky, thrown out violently, or if not, "killed". They use to be, er, less violent, in the past. 3 more cousins, my si4 yi2's kids, unfortunately we are not close to them. Or rather, they are not close to us, and are seldom seen in gatherings. My da4 yi2 has 3 daughters, youngest of which is my sister's age, now a trainee air stewardess with Emirates. The eldest is an accountant and has her own firm. The middle daughter is dirty linen which I do not wish to wash in public.

Whenever there are family gathers such as during CNY with relatives on my mother's side, I can't help but think of my cousin Derrick, who would be 2 years younger than me. He is dead, and he is and will be sorely missed.

And so the first day of CNY is just same as past years, filled with eating junk food and gossiping and fun-natured gambling. I don't know how others spend their first day of CNY, but I'm really happy with the way MY family spends it. =)

The second day is pretty much the same as the first day. On this day we have our "traditional" steamboat dinner with mother's side. The past few years this dinner has always been at my place, but this year we had it at my jiu4jiu4's place, since it's a new house. And so, it was more eating and more gambling. Not that I'm complaining. Hahaa..

On the third day I had some friends from NJChoir over for another steamboat. Lunch. Sort of like tuan2 ruan2 fan4 between friends. When I first thought of hosting this gather at my house with a steamboat lunch I had in mind a certain individual whom I was rather sure would not be having any sort of reunion dinner with her family this year, as is other years, as far as I know. I thought this would be sort of a replacement for that, albeit an inadequate one, but still, better than nothing. It was too bad she couldn't make it for the lunch. It was nice seeing old friends. We ate, we watched crap on my computer, we sang karaok. After they left my parents came and picked me up to go to my qi4 yi2's house for, what else, more food and more gambling!

I just love CNY =D

Speaking of choir. There is a chance that I may be going to Verona with the choir after all. With Timothy. Now we are just waiting to see if they have enough people going. If they don't then we'll be able to fill the slots. Hopefully will get to go. The trip is rather more popular now due to a little price slash (it's now in the regions of S$1,900 for the kids, with a S$200-S$300 subsidy from the school, or so I heard). Miss singing under Miss Lim.

NTU and NUS concerts coming up! Anyone interested??

Until my next update (hopefully soon.. Inspiration, please strike me!)....

God bless everyone!

2006-02-07T12:35:00.000+08:00

Hospital trips have always been lessons in patience.

Trying to avoid waiting for too long, I actually went 1 hour earlier than my appointment time. Got to go to the private children's clinic again. It's a wonderful place; stronger aircon and generally cleaner environment. Still it doesn't make me any less uncomfortable to be strolling down the corridors wearing my number 3 and have all the small little kids staring at me.

A 20 year old really has no place in KKH.

Check-ups are usually dreaded because I don't really do all the things that I am suppose to. Like check my blood glucose religiously. And recording the values down. And watching what I eat. And exercise regularly. And probably many more that I have long forgottened. I know I am suppose to be responsible for my own health. So sue me. It's an irritating life, that of a diabetic. Especially the sugar checks. Screw it.

Sometimes I have the wild urge to just neglect my insulin intake for a week or so. Then I'll probably hyperglycemia and faint, then I'll get sent to he hospital and stay there a week for monitoring and counselling. That would mean one week of MC, which sounds pretty good.

Yesterday's check-up had the added stress of knowing my blood and urine test results, on top of the usual HbA1C. Relax, I'm 100% healthy still, or at least as healthy as a diabetic can get. 7.3 for HbA1C, which is 0.4 better than 3 months ago. Considering all the food I ate over CNY, that's pretty comforting. I only saw Dr Fabian for 5 minutes. Other patients take like half an hour. Oh well. They are all small kids so I guess their parents have all the never-ending questions for the doc. That's why I say it's a test of patience. 90 minutes of waiting with nothing to do? Torture. Even the little kids are not that entertaining, at least not yesterday. No fights, no loud crying, no argument between mom and boy, nobody pooped their diapers, no drama, no action.

The only good thing that came out of the check-up? I got to go home early.

O level's results this friday. A level's next friday. Bwahahah. Good luck kids. Please try to refrain from jumping off the tallest block of HDB flats you can find, no matter what results you get. Remember to thank your teachers.

As Eugene's nick says, D-Day is coming.

Or rather, V-Day is coming. =(

Valentine's Day is a sad sad day for guys like me. We get to see all those couples being lovey-dovey to each other, guys planning romantic dates and giving thoughtful (=expensive) gifts, cuddling their lover under the moonlight while whispering sweet nothings. Making out, getting laid, and displaying their affections in public. We single guys look at all that and swear vehemently that when WE get girlfriends we would not do all that just becaused of some commercially hyped occasion like Valentine's Day. Instead we will spend the day play DOTA at the local lan shop with our buddies. We would not be slaves to our partner, buying 99 roses and having expensive dinners.

But, the sad, sad, sad truth is that we WILL do all that. We will spend our entire NS allowance for the month on a bunch of roses and chocolates and teddy bears, and beg and borrow to afford that expensive candlelight dinner. We will carry your shopping bags and pay for your skirts and shoes. All that and more, just to make our girlfriends happy. The only problem is we are still single and (very much, in fact desparately) available. *cue tears* And yes, we are jealous of all you couples. So excuse us while we spend 14 Feb at home with the computer, and animated pixels in the shape of a sexy female night elf mimicking pole dancing.

Boo hoo hoo, nobody loves me.

It's back to buying roses and presents for mom and sisters again. And they don't even appreciate it. &^*#$&*(.

24-01-06

2006-01-25T14:35:00.000+08:00

Ripcurl slippers, from Feli.

A tiny bottle of sand from Squeaky Beach Australia and a card, from Enid.

Levi's jeans, from big sis.

50 bucks, from mom.

Smses from Ash, Shar, Vincent and Nat.

I'm well contented.

20 sounds old. It sounds as if I should be responsible for something. And I am. As a Christian I am responsible for the spreading of the Word, which I haven't been doing. As a son I am responsible for taking care of my parents, and treating them well. As a brother I am responsible for looking after my 2 sisters, protecting and pampering them. As a friend I am responsible for lending a shoulder, providing an ear, and making others feel loved and cherished. As a citizen I am responsible for protecting the country, preserving our sovereignty. As a person I am responsible for my moral behavior.

Seems like 20 is a good age to start becoming more responsible.

2006-01-19T14:22:00.000+08:00

I want a holiday.

With friends.

I think the first thing I'll do after I ORD is not to go find a job, but go on a holiday.

Seriously need to get away from it all and just breathe.

2006-01-16T16:35:00.000+08:00

I debated with myself for quite a while before deciding to write this post. I am going to write about my date with Feli.

At first I wanted to wait and see whether she would write about it or not, and how long it would be, before writing about it myself. Because I don't want to appear to be too "excited" about it, or make it seem as if I see the date as of higher "importance" than she did. Finally, I decided - heck it. I was excited about the date. It was important to me. So I am going to write about it, for as long as I like it to be.

Feli: You watched ElizabethTown already? (probably in response to my msn nick)
cK: No, but I intend to!
Feli: Me too!
cK: Great! Watch with me!
Feli: Haha.. is that like a request?
cK: No.. it's more like asking you out for a date..haha
Feli: HAHA
Feli: You want to date me must PAY leh... haha..

(The above conversation is not exact, as my office msn does not keep message history)

Anyway, she paid me back in the end =)

To me, a friendship with somebody, boy or girl, is incomplete if you've never went out with him or her. Alone, one-on-one date, I mean. Because it's different when going out with a larger group of friends. It's not too difficult to notice that as the group gets larger, people's behavior gets weirder. Especially for guys, I think. Guys alone and guys in a group act quite differently.

Going out in a big group is the easy way out. But one-on-one dates are different. They are intimate. You can't run away when you run out of things to say. The security in numbers is missing. The whole thing is more real. And in the end you'll feel like you've known the person better.

But, back to the date.

I went down early to buy tickets. Then I did my usual - bought a book at Kino, and read at TCC while sipping coffee. She brought my birthday present along! They were nice slippers, and fit quite comfortably. Mega thanks, Feli!

Anyway, ElizabethTown was pretty so-so. It got a bit confusing at some parts, and there wasn't really a solid plot line throughout the whole show, but it was pretty solid acting. The romantic parts were there (the overnight call, the meeting in the middle to watch sunrise, the road-map), the funny bits were there (the suicide bike, the screaming kids), and it was longer than I expected (a solid 2 hours, I think). And the soundtrack was pretty good. 3.5 stars.

After exiting the cinema, and after the whole post-movie ritual (a.k.a the toilet trip), came the inevitable, non-spoken question: what's next? This, I think, is the most telling part of the date. Watching a movie together is easy enough, but what happens next is a true test of the relationship.

We went to Hereen to buy my Levi's jeans, but it was too crowded, so we went Taka instead. I finally bought my jeans there. It was sort of a weird reversal of roles, me the guy shopping and she the girl watching and holding my plastic bags (my book and my slippers) for me. The denim cost me $99.50, which my sister is suppose to pay for. Currently she's still ignoring the receipt nonchalently. Grrr..

So the rest of the day was spent walking here and there, looking at stuff and chatting. It was quite nice, and she's very easy-going. I sent her home and she didn't protest violently. I like that. I think it's only right to send your date home if it's late, say 10+. And the girl should just accept it nicely and not make a fuss about it. Guys, you don't have to be her boyfriend to send her home, you know. And girls, just because the guy send you home doesn't necessarily mean he's having designs on you. That said, I generally only send people home if I went out with them alone, or small group of close friends. In a large group, I don't, and I'm ashamed to say that it's because I want to avoid all the "woooo they are together because he sent her home" rumours.

Thanks for a great day Feli =)

Now, who wants to watch Memoirs of a Geisha with me? =D

Birthday

2006-01-03T12:34:00.000+08:00

In 21 days' time I will officially depart from the world of teenagers. The big two-oh. 1/4 mark of my life (hopefully). Sob sob... I can already feel age catching up with me...

So here it is, The List:

1) Bible - NKJV
2) Bible - NKJV-NIV Parallel
3) Strong's Full Bible Concordance
4) Koine Greek for Dummies. Or any other similiar.
5) Audio bible, NIV
6) Bible software. Those cheap (sub $100) ones will do, definately not asking for those professional programs for scholars that costs upwards of $1000.
7) Eschatology-related analysis books. NOT the popular 'doomsday' kind. The serious kind. Particularly those dealing with preteristic views.
8) Piano, upright
9) iPod Nano, white
10) WoW gamecard
11) Starcraft BattleChest. Ahh, nostalgia.
12) Short-sleeved shirts
13) Berms
~~14) Slippers/sandals (mine broke recently =()~~ TAKEN!
15) Levi's jeans (Da jie are you seeing this!!? =D)
16) Cross/Crucifix necklace
~~17) Wallet (mine is fraying more badly by the day)~~ TAKEN!
18) Homebaked goodies (specifically, I am missing Cher's baking =()
19) Kinokuniya/Borders book vouchers
20) Well wishes (cards, letters, emails, smses, etc)

/list

Goals

2006-01-02T02:38:00.000+08:00

I don't have any long term goals in my life. I just don't like making them. I think they are unrealistic. Seriously, who can know what will happen 10, 20 years down the road? God does, but he surely isn't sharing the information with me anything soon. I just don't have the motivation to sit down and thinking properly about the far future.

But, that doesn't stop me from having short term goals. It's already 2nd January, but surely it isn't too late to think about the near future. Say, for 2006.

1) Pass my driving test.
Nothing much to say about this. Although I still can't figure out the purpose of having a license when I don't own a car, I guess if anything it keeps my parents off my back nagging me to do it. It's quite fun, anyway. My driving coach has a little problem speaking properly though. He tends to mumble quite a bit, so I'm always not really sure whether he wants me to turn left or right or whatever. Anyway, just hoping to pass with less than 3 tries, which is what my sister needed. Haha.

2) Treat my family better.
This goes without saying, I think. I realise that at some point of time in the past, or rather, several points of time, I have talked about this. Too bad, action is slower than words. I'm not sure if anyone knows but I'm quite the disappointment around the family, and I'm not just talking among my immediate ones. Oh well. I fully intend to change that status quo, or at least try to. Family is important, you know. No matter how cliche that might be.

3) Treat my friends better.
Sort of like an extension of the previous one, no? Well. I've never been a very good friend to anyone, so 2006 seems like a good time to start. I'm not a social butterfly, so I'll be contented to just keep my old friends close.

4) To lose the ego.
In other words, less pride. Self-explanatory, I think.

5) Get a girlfriend.
No, seriously, not what you are thinking of. Not in that sense. I just want somebody to connect with on a deeper level, you know. Something like a "best friend". I've never had the honour to know a friend deeply, beyond the superficial level, into an intimate state of understanding and love. There have been a few hit-and-misses, I guess. Hopefully the right person will drop by my life.

6) Find a church.
Actually, as you may know, I'm not in a terrible hurry to find a church to attend. In fact I am beginning to think less and less of the importance of having a church to go to. I understand the advantages, but looking at the state of things it seems that the cons outweigh the pros. In fact it may even be counterproductive to spiritual growth. And, it's difficult to find a really suitable church. Especially with all the charismatic churches around.

7) Read more.
I should really read more different genre of books. If anyone has any recommendations, I'm listening.

That about covers it, I think.

New Year is Coming

2005-12-30T15:44:00.000+08:00

The New Year is looming ahead.

This is suppose to be the time when we ponder about how we did for the year, then make resolutions for the new year which we don't have any intention to keep anyway.

I can't really remember what resolutions I had last year, so I can't say whether or not I have kept them.

So, to prevent that from happening again next year, I shall keep my resolution short and sweet, so that it will be easy to remember:

Proverbs 3:3

Simple.

Anyway there's suppose to be some sort of gathering for my choir juniors tomorrow but I have no idea what it is about.

How come nobody liked Narnia!!? I thought it was fantastic! Better than Harry Potter, anyway. Let's see:

Narnia: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. 11 words. [+1]
Potter: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. 7 words. [0]

Narnia: Has talking beavers. [+1]
Potter: Has talking portraits [+0.5]

Narnia: Has magic. In fact, the whole freaking place is a magical realm. [+1]
Potter: Has magic. And muggles. [+1]

Narnia: Has no sexual scenes. [0]
Potter: Has Daniel Radcliffe topless. [-1]

Narnia: Has an army of rock-throwing wyverns and a flaming phoenix. [+1]
Potter: Has flying dragons and a phoenix. [+1]

Narnia: Has a talking lion resurrected upon a split stone table. [+1]
Potter: Has a dark wizard resurrected in an exploding cauldron. [+1]

Narnia: The lion looked good. [+1]
Potter: The dark wizard looked like crap. [0]

Narnia: Has a mega epic battle involving wolves, centaurs, goat-men and talking beavers. [+1]
Potter: Has a battle between a sickly-looking, crazy dark wizard and a 14-year-old boy who keeps running away. [0]

Narnia: Has a white witch that freezes enemies with her staff. [+1]
Potter: Has a dark wizard who kills with a 14-inch wand that shoot green sparks. [+1]

Narnia: Written by C.S. Lewis. [+2]
Potter: Written by J.K. Rowling. [-1]

Clearly, we have a winner!

Happy New Year, people. =)

2005-12-27T23:15:00.000+08:00

In the 4th century, Constantine the Great decided that Christians should celebrate Nativity on the same date as the Roman pagans honoured their god of agriculture, Saturn.

Even though the date can be said to be chosen out of convenience, to more effectively entice Roman pagans to convert to Christianity, the purpose of the celebration is still meaningful, and should not be forgotten, no matter how commercialised Christmas may be now.

Not just commercialised, but capitalised, least so by the Christians themselves.

The season where the words "harvest", "target", "turnover", "converts" and such can be heard as often as "love", "grace", "forgiveness", "suffering".

Nonetheless, this Christmas has been rather eventful. Carolling brought mixed feelings. I can't say I'm extremely satisfied with the way things went but who am I to complain? A lot of things that I did not like, but can't say due to political correct-ness. But, thank God that there are still things to be happy about. Actually, people.

Huacheng, much thanks goes out to you. Amazing guy, relentless in enticing the juniors to join the alumni, lots of commitment.

Timo, seldom late for practices, finally somebody with leadership capabilities stepping in to help.

Sher, Stef, Angela, old women coming back to sing. Kidding!

Eugene, Benghee, for joining us and singing! HOPEFULLY will see you all around for Cantabile. Have fun in NS haha..

Serene, for joining almost all the practices and performances. It doesn't matter if you are going overseas for studies, the alumni still wants you =D

Mich, Ruixia, Shuxian, Cheryl, Ben, Thomas, for joining practice(s)!

Junjie, for sticking with us for so long =)

And last but not least, Feli, for coming for practices even though you couldn't perform.

See, the alumni is not doing that badly after all. I can see some hope for Cantabile '06.

Happy Christmas, everyone.

2005-12-21T10:25:00.001+08:00

Where to begin...

Last Friday's practice was a mess. See, that's what you get when people just refuse to turn up for the same practices. Which means I've gotta teach those songs I've already taught at the last practice.

Do you know what are the most annoying kind of people you can get in the alumni? The kind that comes by at the last minute, attends the last practice, and then wants in on the performance. Worse, they then proceed to irritate the hell out of you during that last precious practice where you are trying to get everything together. For God's sake, at least have the decency to shut up while I'm teaching the other sections? Even after I've yelled at them they still don't get the hint. Basses. Go figure. These last minute people who only attended one practice do not deserve to perform, even if they know all their songs. Poor Feli practiced 2 days a week with us and don't even get to sing. So. Screw you. Keep your singing to your bathroom.

Saturday was BBQ at Sher's place. It was.. "meh". Like, on one hand it was nice seeing old faces again, but on the other hand I don't really have much to do with them anymore anyway, except HonSeng, who still indulges me (almost) every weekend. The food was alright, although it seemed as if I'm the only one constantly eating.

Sunday watched Budak Pantai concert with Sher and her friend. It was such a letdown. They sound worse than before. Even more out of tune, if that's even possible. Almost all old songs, save for I think 4. Which means, basically, that it was a waste of time, and if I had stayed at home listening to their CDs, I would have gotten almost the same program, which sounds better than their live singing. Hello, changing the title and adding witty narrative does not constitute "new" song. Even Michael's lame jokes are getting unbearable. Urgh. The worst part was the cost. $30.

After the show I met Feli to exchange presents, since she's off to Malaysia for Christmas. We had an early dinner and she went home for her beauty sleep while I went for my badminton game with my cousins.

Her gift for me was, for the record, fantastic. Diabetic cookies, diabetic peanut butter. How thoughtful! I must confess I am quite touched. Seldom has my friends been considerate with regards to my medical condition and food choices. Although I am partly to blame since I'm always showing the "I can eat anything bring it!" attitude. But, who doesn't care about his own health, really? I'm not asking for special attention just because I'm diabetic, but I think she's just the second person so far (minus family) to show this kind of thoughtfulness which I really missed. So Feli, it was nice of you =) Oh, the bookmark is a little difficult to use, seeing as how its so thick my book can't really close properly with it in the middle of it, but I'm using it anyway. I love your gifts (my stomach agrees), and it's probably the only one I'm getting this Christmas (minus family). So Thank You!

The last 2 days have been spent eaking up at 12+, eating brunch, and watching rented DVDs. I actually have my holiday cut short because my boss is on long MC until the end of the week. Which explains why I'm at work today. Sigh. Can't even clear leave in peace.

Oh well. It's kinda a good thing actually. More rest for the last week of the year. Hopefully somebody will date me for Narnia soon. Prod prod, hint hint.

I bought Christmas cards but I'm feeling lazier by the day to actually write something in them. The problem is, the more I think about it, the more people I feel I have to give a card to. I have only 9 cards left and I don't feel like buying more. Bah.

Oh, if anyone reading this feels like blessing me, I really feel like reading The Chronicles of Narnia. Yep.

2005-12-13T15:37:00.000+08:00

Why is nobody interested in going to Verona? SIAN. LIKE THAT I HOW TO GO. =(

Anyway back to the presents...

(puts on Santa hat and robe)

5. Chin Yaw
How's University life, eh? I would have you know that Miss Lim is extremely disappointed that none of her protégés has joined her NTU Choir. How can like that! Anyway, you receive: Soccer Boots of Awesomeness. On equip, gives +10 strength, +10 agility, +15 accuracy, and +15 beauty. And, it has the bling-bling factor, and inspires fear in your opponents just by the look of it. Now you can mock them all: Drool, you mere mortals!

6. Benjamin
Ah. The brooding artist. You should sing more and draw less. Because I dislike artists, as a general rule. Because I can't draw to save my life. You receive: The One Tuning Fork. You notice some engravings on it; looks like letters. On closer inspection you realise it's just rust. You sense an immense power oozing from within it. You shiver in fear. In your mind, flashbacks of the torture-days of old, those brutal sectionals. You try to melt it in the fire, to get rid of it, but to no avail. You try to auction it off on e-Bay; nobody wants a dirty, old, out-of-tune tuning fork. You sigh in resentment, and place it in a prominent position in your house, as befit it's status as The Tuning Fork handed down from generations of Tenor SLs.

7. Thomas
Hello! I have an awesome gift for you. I'm sure you will like it. You receive: Life-size Night Elf Doll. Fully programmed for any activity imaginable. Role-playing manual included. Keep away from small children. Batteries not included.

(takes off Santa hat and robe)

I'm having an extremely lethargic day.

Christmas toys all over the place

2005-12-12T11:17:00.000+08:00

Ah. The good old days where kids like myself really do get toys for Christmas.

13 days to Christmas. I don't have a wish-list. But since Christmas is a time for giving, here's a little something for everyone.

(Puts on Santa hat and robe)

1. Felicia
Ahh... My minesweeper buddy. =) I would have given you "The Complete Idoit's Guide to Minesweeper", but I don't think you need it. Instead, you receive: Talking CK portrait, Photoshopped Edition (to prevent late night scares). Think Harry Potter style. The purpose of which is to dish out praises whenever you require. Example:

You: Am I pretty?

Portrait: Yes.

You: Am I cute?

Portrait: Yes.

You: Do I look fat in this?

Portrait: Yes. (Oops)

You: #^&*$^#&^$@

Recommended usage: once a day. Excessive usage can lead to unexpected side effects such as bloated head and "floating in the air" sensations in the tummy. Note: The physical or verbal abuse of the Portrait is strictly prohibited in the event that the given reply is undesirable (see above example).

2. HonSeng
A pity that you couldn't join us for carolling this year! Oh well, there's always next year, during which you would be clearing leave already! I would have given you "Voucher for unlimited redemption of PS games", but I reckon you are already playing enough! Stop gaming and watch your msn screen once in a while! You receive: "Get out of outfield training free" card, 5 charges. Use it wisely, bro =)

3. Audrey
Hello there! My movie pal (together with her bro) for many a Saturdays lately. I would have given you a "The bearer is above the age of 18" card, for all those M18 shows that you are denied, but I figured you won't be needing it in another 2 months time. So, you receive: Bottle of "Elixar of Smackdown", tiny. For use on mortal enemies only. Use sparingly; anything in excess of 2 drops will cause mortal damage, which would really spoil all the fun. Enjoy!

4. Shermaine
Hmmm.... I originally wanted to give you a book of "1001 Sweet Nothings to Say to your Lover", but the thought of it being used was quite, er, disturbing. So instead, you receive: Complete DVD collection of [insert-anime-name-here]. Can't go wrong with that, I suppose. Hell, I'll throw in a bonus for old-time's sake: Idiot's Guide to Japanese: As Heard in Cookie-Cutter Anime Shows. Tada! Oh, and a DIY Popcorn Maker, to go with the DVDs. =)

(Takes off Santa hat and robe)

More when I think of them, or when I feel like it, or when I get less lazy, whichever comes first!

2005-11-30T10:38:00.000+08:00

Wow.

Didn't know SG gymmers are so powerful! First ever team artistic Gold! In fact, first ever gold since what, 1979? Wish I've been there to watch..

On Saturday I watched Zathura a.k.a Jumanji in Space with Honseng. Then we had dinner at J8 Swensons with Wenlin. The movie was childish, and the plot tried and tested and repetitive, but it was still quite alright. The younger boy is so cute! Haha.. And the sister was quite pretty also, alhough she doesn't get much screen time. The dinner was.. meh. Can I say "expected"? The moment I heard from Honseng "I've asked Wenlin to join us for dinner" I thought, "Yea, I know how that'll turn out to be like". Now if only my skills at predicting 4D numbers are as accurate...

Anyway I'm just sick and tired of hanging on. I'm uncomfortable with making new friends and I don't like having friends whom I don't know well, so I liked to hang on to as many "old" friends as possible. But guess what, policy change! If you don't care, I'm not going to either. If you think you are too good for me, then scram. If you are too busy with your little Inner Circle, I don't have time for you either.

Am I making it sound as if everyone owes me their friendship? Maybe. I'm irritated with others, but I'm mainly irritated with myself.

Christmas is coming, but I don't have a wish list. Just a card will do, thank you.

Or maybe you can surprise me.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2005-11-22T11:09:00.000+08:00

(Possible spoilers)

The Good:

1. Hermy looked yummy!
2. Fleur looked yummy!
3. Cho looked yummy (when you squint)!
4. Dragons were cool
5. Casting for Voldy was perfect
6. Nev dancing
7. MM flirting with Harry in the prefect's bathroom =D
8. DADA scene with Moody
9. Ron's face when the spider landed on his face
10. Draco turned into a ferret by Moody
11. Scene of the twins with the Globet
12. Entrance of the boys with their pounding stakes
13. Scene of Ron and Hermy after the Ball
14. Harry and Ron moping during the Ball
15. Nev "killing" Harry at Task 2
16. Filch running (limping) throught the Hall
17. Fred dating Angelina
18. Snape rolling his sleeves for the back of Harry's and Ron's heads
19. Hermy ordering Harry and Ron to bed
20. The premature cannon
21. Harry spilling pumkin juice over Cho's smile
22. Hermy being the "owl"
23. Filch dancing with Mrs Norris
24. Hermy in the Champion's Tent

The Bad:

1. Only 2.5 hours long, when it could have easily been 5
2. Dumbledore. Sucked. Richard Harris was infinately better.
3. Moody. His acting was weird.
4. Harry and Cho on the Owl Tower. Ewwwwww. Esp the accent.
5. No Quidditch.
6. Everything happened too rushed.
7. Not enough Draco vs Harry
8. Not enough Draco vs Hermy
9. Not enough Draco vs everyone else
10. Not enough Snape
11. Sirius in the firepit looked crappy
12. Entrance of the girls with their stupid butterflies
13. The Patil twins. OMG they were supposed to be pretty.
14. Where were the Elves!? What happened to SPEW!!! Ahhh WINKY!
15. Rita
16. No Veelas
17. No Leprechuans raining gold
18. Hagrid didn't have his Blast-ended Skruts

Who wants to watch it again?

Cute!

2005-11-21T13:10:00.000+08:00

I was watching TV last night when I realised something:

Girls with vampire teeth are CUTE!

Woot <3 =D

Anyway...

Other than spending $40 on the 4th book of Song of Ice and Fire - A Feast for Crows, I have nothing else to report.

Can't wait for carolling!

Cry more

2005-11-16T09:00:00.000+08:00

Nov 16, 2005
Support groups and charities should be secular

I refer to the article, 'Hope is here' (ST, Nov 14).

It is heartening to know that One Hope Centre is providing support for people affected by gambling and related money-lending activities. However, making non-Christians sit through 'Holy Communion and an hour-long sermon' bothers me.

The group's president, Reverend Edward Job, was quoted as saying that people of all religions are welcome and that the Christian method to recovery is used.

I would like to point out that there may be people who do not know that Christian methods are used by this group and they may be shocked when they attend a session.

We have to understand religious sensitivities in Singapore. One Hope Centre should add a clause to inform the public that it is a Christian group and sermons will be delivered at its sessions.

I note also that One Hope Centre is a support group, and is planning to expand its services islandwide. To cater to the vast majority, is it appropriate to use Christian methods and make people sit through sermons?

We have to bear in mind that Singapore is a multiracial and multi-religious society, and we do not want charities or counselling centres to offer their services only to their respective religious affiliations.

That is why the majority of charity organisations cater to society as a whole, regardless of race or religion. To cater to everybody, these organisations have to be secular, and not lean towards any religious beliefs. A very good example is Ren Ci Hospital, where religion is not used to help patients.

Lester Lam Yong Ling

---

Yet another nice, sensible, logical letter by our fellow Singaporean in ST Forums.

Not.

I'll just borrow a few phrases from WoW General Forums: It's fine, learn 2 play. Cry more n00b. Why are you a troll priest? He despawns at 20% health saying it's not his time yet. You must face your target to burn his shadow. In Soviet Russia, faces melt you!

What's that? Exactly what that letter is. N-O-N-S-E-N-S-E.

Fallacy One:

"The group's president, Reverend Edward Job, was quoted as saying that people of all religions are welcome and that the Christian method to recovery is used.

I would like to point out that there may be people who do not know that Christian methods are used by this group and they may be shocked when they attend a session."

That guy's title is "Reverend". I'm sure that just sets up the expectation that the method of recovery used will be getting everyone who attends to dance to Barney songs and have a group hug, right? Even if you are too stupid to realise that, once you step in and find yourself in the midst of a sermon that makes you squirm in your seat, I'm sure you have enough initiative to just walk out of the door. If you say "I endured through the sermon even though I didn't like it out of courtesy and respect", then have enough courtesy and respect left in you to not go around whining about it like some 5 year old kid that can't find his teddy-bear.

Fallacy Two:

"We have to understand religious sensitivities in Singapore."

In my book, "religious sensitivities" includes "not whining about the religious methods used in Christian organizations that you have attended on your own free will". Too bad, the Singaporean idea of religious sensitivities is simply to ignore any and all religion, as if they will all disappear if they refuse to talk about it for long enough.

Fallacy Three:

This is the most serious one. The writer, before penning this letter, already presumed that whatever "religious methods" used is wrong and crap and does not work. Apparently he believes that only "secular" methods are trustworthy. Hey, that's religious insensitivity if I ever saw one. This is exactly why we need more of such organizations, to show the rest of the world, including those delusional atheists and agnostics, the POWER of CHRIST.

"Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." - John 4:13-14

Over the weekend

2005-11-15T17:27:00.000+08:00

Quite an exciting weekend, must say.

Woke up on Saturday morning (or was it afternoon?) to Audrey's SMS. Actually, woke up right before the SMS. I didn't even need to read it to know what's the contents - company for the rest of the day.

Finally caught "The Exorcism of Emily Rose". Been wanting to since the preview, but owing to the fact that I'm not the "1st choice" for my friends as a movie date, and not wanting to watch it myself (I swear, it being a semi-scary show has nothing to do with it), I had to sit on my arse and wait for a date to come a-knocking. Heh.

The surprise was Hon Seng actually was willing to watch it. Haha. Audrey claims that he was covering his eys for half the show, but I can't be sure since she was sitting between us and I was concentrating on the show. Oh well... At least he came, that should be a good start. The 2 of them are fast becoming my regular dates for Saturday afternoons/evenings.

After the show we wandered around pondering over dinner. I HATE deciding what to eat for dinner. HATE. GAH. What's worse is that the fact that I'm a guy means that in the future I would be expected to be full of ideas for dining venues while dating my girlfriend. Maybe I ought to be thankful that I'm not attached yet. But, yeah, I'm the eat-anything-also-can and don't-eat-also-can kinda person. Anyway, coffee > food ANYDAY.

We ate at Burger King.

Went Paragon shopping with their mom after eating. I had nowhere to go so I tagged along anyway. Upon rendezvousing with her, the 2 females proceeded to shop at the lingerie section. Now, being the sensitive new age guys in the 21st century like we are, we would have been more than willing to tag along, offering tips and advice from our point of view (which is really what fanciful lingerie is all about, isnt it? Us guys' view-ing?), and then ultimately carrying out our divinely-pre-determined job of carrying women's shopping bags. But they shooed us off anyway. With a wave of an arm (or two) Hon Seng and I were relegated to prowling around the mall in our bored selves. We visited some CD shop and ate some ice-cream, and that's about it. Lo and behold, when we went back they were still at the same section. Go figure.

After more (mind-numbing) shopping they were finally done, thank the stars. And so we parted ways. Just as I was exiting the building somebody tapped me on the shoulder as I walked by. Shit. I started thinking of all sorts of excuses for being caught by a security guard at 1030pm with unpaid-for lace underwear in my backpocket that I could not resist back in Metro. I tried to run, but he had an iron grip. The sort that whisperes to you, "Run and I'll crack your shoulder blades." The sort that spoke of 2 years of insane canoeing and dragonboating training at NJC. Relief! My underwear secret was safe after all! And who should be with Zhi Wei but Jason, the 2 gay buddies, I mean, good friends. And a third person, as then unidentified. The three of them together looked suspiciously like the aftermath of a ménage à trois. For a split second (maybe about 0.2s) I felt a surge of jealousy within me, of being left out of whatever excitement these three had before bumping into me. I remembered the lace underwear in my backpocket and reminded myself that I was a straight, heterosexual guy who likes girls, thank the stars.

(Joke, for those who left their sense of humour at the door. Not the heterosexual part, though.)

So we walked around looking for coffee, as any sane gathering of 4 guys would do. Settled at some weird place in Cineleisure, and chatted over drinks of this and that. It was a pleasant surprise to bump into Zhi Wei. He hasn't changed much at all. We left at around 12, I think.

Sunday I decided to visit Lin Jin's church, which Zhi Wei is also visiting at. That smart guy told me the wrong church, which resulted in me being a good 30 minutes late.

This brings me to my next topic, churches. For those of you who are not particularly interested in my religious ramblings, it's time to blog-surf somewhere else.

I don't feel as strongly against female pastors/elders now compared to about 2 months ago. Since then I've read more, learnt more, and prayed more. In short, I can accept that the Bible is not at it's clearest when touching on this topic, but I put forth that I would still prefer not to see a female pastor/elder, and that is why I will not return to Hope for now, among other reasons.

Visiting Life Presbyterian Bible Church led me to ponder over many things. I did not feel 100% comfortable throughout the service, but it did led me back to the sort of "plainer and simpler things" that I was searching for.

Am I against having service in an auditorium instead of a proper (I use this term loosely) church? Nope.

Am I against the use of modern instruments during worship? Nope.

Am I against the majority of sermons being targetted at the unsaved rather than the saved? Nope.

I will direct what I am against at Hope, since I am familiar with it. I hope you Hope-ers don't take it personally, as these are merely my opinions.

I am against the excessive (mis)use of tongues. It is extremely distracting, and serves no purpose in the way it is used currently in Hope. Speaking in tongues is not stringing nonsensical consonants and vowels together. I cannot believe that all the instances of tongues in Hope is divinely inspired, and I repent for all the times that I have "spoken in tongues" just because I have been told to, and because everyone else is doing it. Is is possible that the entire congregation has the gift of Tongues? Maybe. Is it probable? Not.

I am against what I personally feel is a non-condusive environment for worship in Hope. This is a personal opinion, yet it is not unfounded. The atmosphere created by the band during worship and praise is just too crazy. It is definately not what I would consider meaningful worship. Whatever happened to fear of the Lord? I look at videos of praise and worship concerts and I feel disgusted. A rock band calling itself Christian leading 40,000 people in noise-making is not worship. We can sing and dance and create as much noise as we want, but don't call it worship, because it isn't.

I am against the "mega church" idea that Hope is trying to emulate. No, wearing "We're not going for numbers" on your lips in and out does not make it true. Numbers, attendence, growth in quantity, that's what I see. I see shallowness, lack of knowledge and understanding, and unwillingness to pursue them. Simple issues, they have no answer for. Controversial issues, they dodge.

Gosh, this is turning into some sort of a rant against Hope. I have a good bit more to say, but I think I'll skip them for now.

Somehow my mood is worse after the ranting. GAH,

Arbitrary-encouragement-for-A-level-students.

How's Life?

2005-11-10T08:58:00.000+08:00

Boring, that's how.

I don't even play WoW much now. Everyday I get home, eat, watch TV, read, sleep.

Sigh x n where n --> infinity.

I've never been much of a fan for "celebrity" blogs. The only one I read semi-regularly is Kenny, and that's because his post are moderately funny and, under comparison, less vulgar.

Yesterday's Newpaper carried a report on "Singapore's prettiest blogger". Woohoo, I thought. Double-woohoo when I found out it wasn't XiaXue, THANK GOD. Of course, I knew she would have some comments for this, and I wasn't disappointed.

www.xanga.com/clapbangkiss, for those curious, non-Newpaper readers. No, I didn't know her or her blog's existance before the report. Yes, she's quite pretty, doey eyes and long hair and all. And she's semi-rich and parties with local celebrities (the mediacorp kind). Now she's on her way to becoming the next big thing. Sounds great. Congratulations to her.

XiaXue: She's not really a blogger, just somebody with a pretty face who blogs.

Wow. Like, since when has the term "blogger" been reserved for those pathetic wannabes? I must have missed the memo. Go back a few years and blogging was reserved for fat, geeky teenage boys with too ugly a handwriting to manually write their thoughts in a physical diary. Now everyone and their dog has a blog. The daily chronicals of an individual for the benifit of close friends has morphed into controversial ramblings aimed at readership from strangers. That's evolution for you, science boys, and I'm not exactly sure it's for the better.

Face it. "Blogger" is simply the de facto term bracketing anyone who blogs, period. Boohoo, you lost an endorsement, and somebody is prettier than you. It's fine, learn to photoshop. kthxbye.

Oh, just for the record: I think it is wrong to use a toilet meant for the disabled, even if such a person is not in the immediated vicinity. Now, the defination of a "disabled" person, that's where the real debate lies. Heh.

I think it stems from our chinese roots. A lot of people seem to hold to the idea of karma, as if somebody is keeping account of the right and wrong doings of oneself, to be tabulated and used against one, to determine the "quality" of their next life, so to speak. This is the system where it doesn't matter how much wrong one did, as long as they did more rights. It sounds like a good system, mathematically beautiful, even. Just one problem: in view of whatever religious system you believe in, who is the Accountant? It must be God. And spare me the I-am-an-atheist speech. The fact that there exist what is morally right and morally wrong means there is a moral standard that we measure our actions against. Absolute morality, so to speak.

Now, in MY belief, the Christian God has a very easy job to do, as far as the moral accounting goes. As long as you ever did one wrong in your life, you're headed for hell. It's so easy, because it means everyone is going to hell! Think of it this way. If you did something wrong to a moderately good person, he's going to get pissed, so you'll try to appease his anger by doing this thing or that, until he is no longer mad at you. The better the person is, in terms of his morals, the angrier he will be for your wrong act, and the more it will take to appease him. Now it so happens that MY God is infinately good. That means that when he is pissed, he is infinately pissed, and there ain't nothing you can ever do to hope to appease His Holy Anger. So you are doomed.

Only the Christians are saved. Simply put, since mere humans can never hope to appease an infinately pissed God, God Himself has come to do the job for us, bearing all our sins and carrying all the shame of every wrong thing we ever did, and paying the price for us, of humiliation, shame, torture, pain and death. His sacrifice is infinate, because He is infinate, and it bridges the infinate gap between us and God.

Ahh, the sweet taste of salvation.

Sorry, I always get carried away when talking about such things.

Now where was I. Oh yes, life.

Starting driving lessons soon, finally.

Happy exams for the 18-year-olds. =)

Bye, work's a-calling.

2005-10-31T14:50:00.000+08:00

Hmm...I could use me one pair of that!

Watched "Doom" with Aud and HS. Quite a dumb show, if you ask me. Movies spawned from video games are not knowned to be blockbusters.

Somebody please watch a 9pm sneak preview of "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" with me!! >_<

Not again

2005-10-27T09:13:00.000+08:00

Oh man, she's back to haunt my dreams.

2005-10-26T10:08:00.000+08:00

I dreamt about school yesterday night.

It was a pretty nice dream.

Dreamt of ZhiWei and his 'Chess Club Intellectual' to 'Canoeing Champion' transformation. Dreamt of TingShu being bitched by Ms Chua during Math lesson. Dreamt of Evan breaking flasks and test tubes in Chem prac and looking sheepish. Dreamt of LinJin and her half-hour re-arrange-my-hair toilet breaks, and other general crazy nonsense. Dreamt of copying SuHui's notes frantically before Bio tutorial. Dreamt of Liz strolling into Physics prac half hour late without breaking a sweat. Dreamt of TzeSiang and his steady, down-to-earth character. Dreamt of Serene dozing off in Physics tutorial.

Dreamt of Captain's ball and ZhiWei being tickled to death. Dreamt of the pre-A'levels badminton and table tennis craze. Dreamt of Thursday morning breakfast. Dreamt of skipping Math tutorial together.

My class rocked. Love them!

2005-10-25T11:10:00.000+08:00

From STI, 25 Oct 05

No proselytising allowed in schools

A RECENT Insight article ('Say aaah... men'; ST, Oct 15) discussed the issue of proselytising.

Any form of proselytising to students is strictly not allowed in our schools, including both government and mission schools. Schools will take action against any teacher found to have engaged in proselytising.

The article cited the case of a National Junior College physics lecturer who invited his class to a Christmas party and prayed over them, and who attached Christian sayings to his lecture notes. The principal has warned the lecturer and counselled him. The lecturer is remorseful about his actions.

If parents have any concerns regarding any action involving their children being encouraged to join a religion other than their own, I encourage them to approach the school.

Ms Geraldine Chay Mei Fong ('Not true that all schools are secular'; ST, Oct 14) pointed out that religious values are imparted in mission schools. She supported this practice, and felt that parents who want a secular education for their children should send them to government schools.

Mission schools follow clear rules. While they can conduct prayers, religious classes and chapel services or mass, these must be optional. They cannot compel any student to participate in any religious activity against the student's wish.

Students are allowed to withdraw from any such activity if they are uncomfortable with participating in it, or if requested by their parents.

Further, attendance at any such activity cannot be a condition for students to be admitted to the school. The time used for these activities must also be in addition to that required for the schools to cover the subjects in the regular Ministry of Education curriculum.

It is in school that children of different backgrounds build bonds and develop shared aspirations as Singaporeans. We encourage parents and schools to work together to ensure that we sustain the strong social cohesion that we have built so far.

Wong Siew Hoong
Director of Schools
Ministry of Education

Wow. How stupid can people get? We're talking about Junior College students here, not kindergarden kids! Here's a suggestion - don't attend a Christmas Party if you are not Christian. And, move your butt elsewhere if you don't want to be prayed over. QED.

Religious equality in Singapore is a farce. Promoting purely atheistic thoughts in schools is NOT equality in my book. The Singapore idea of promoting peace between the different religions is by banning all religious arguments and as little contact as possible.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. 95% of the non-christians I've met are incapable of even formulating a simple argument as to why they don't believe, or why they believe in what they believe. All they have to offer is "My parents were Buddists, hence so am I!". Heck, they don't even understand their own religion, much less defend it. Atheists are even worse:

ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF BELIEF

If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
I don't believe in God.
Therefore, God doesn't exist.

PARENTAL ARGUMENT

My mommy and daddy told me that God doesn't exist.
Therefore, God doesn't exist.

ARGUMENT FROM SHEER WILL

I DON'T believe in God! I DON'T believe in God! I don't I don't I don't I DON'T believe in God!
Therefore, God doesn't exist.

That about sums it all.

----

I had actually written the above in an angrier manner, but stupid Firefox hanged before I could publish it. Amen, God rocks! You guys are spared from my more "colourful" language by the Hand of God. *chuckles*

I hereby challenge ANY atheist to last even 10 minutes in a Creation vs Evolution debate with me. Bring it.

2005-10-25T09:25:00.000+08:00

Flight Plan was an okay show. Somewhat draggy in the beginning, lots of loopholes in the plot, but the acting was quite good. I watched it with a girl 5 years my junior. No, I'm not a pedophile, however it seems.

Doc's appointment later. I HATE it.

I just want my holidays.

Next post shall be "99 things CK wants for Christmas". Stay tuned!

2005-10-18T15:33:00.000+08:00

I like how I can just log on to MSN for 5 minutes and grab a date for dinner =)

The worse side of me has been complaining lately about the lack of my regular dosage of MSN Minesweeper. The better side of me knows that this is a good sign, because it means dear Fel is busy studying and thus has no time to come online to indulge me in a sparring of luck and wits over the minesweeper board. Study hard, kiddo!

It seems as if my praying list keeps getting longer and longer while it's still 24hrs per day. A lot of people to pray for, and so little time. Recently I had my first experience of falling asleep halfway while praying at night. Rats! AND I have become increasingly forgetful, frequently forgetting this person or that. Sorry folks, but I'm trying!

Time is getting shorter in other respects as well. Always so many things to do, but no time. Although, in truth, it is also partly due to the fact that I seemed to have become more lethargic and apathatic these few days, not wanting to care so much, and just plain lazy to make the first moves/make plans/date people.

Sometimes I wish God would just finally decide to end all the religious arguments by appearing once and for all. Sometimes I am just tempted to challenge all those skeptics and agnostics to a display of Power, a la Elijah vs the prophets of Baal and Asherah at Mount Carmel. O, how awesome it would be! Incidently I quite like that chapter. Nice distraction to the boring listing of Kings.

"Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. "O Baal, answer us!" they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And they danced around the altar they had made.

At noon Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or travelling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened."" - 1 Kings 18: 26-27

Somehow I think he must have been a great person to be around with. He surely has a sense of humour =)

Christmas is coming!

From the mouth of C.S. Lewis

2005-10-13T15:38:00.000+08:00

"The third enemy is fear. War threatens us with death and pain. No man - and specially no Christian who remembers Gethsemane - need try to attain a stoic indifference about these things, but we can guard against the illusions of the imagination. We think of the streets of Warsaw and contrast the deaths there suffered with an abstraction called Life. But there is no question of death or life for any of us, only a question of this death or of that - of a machine gun bullet now or a cancer forty years later. What does war do to death? It certainly does not make it more frequent; 100 percent of us die, and the percentage cannot be increased. It puts several deaths earlier, but I hardly suppose that that is what we fear. Certainly when the moment comes, it will make little difference how many years we have behind us. Does it invrease our chances of a painful death? I doubt it. As far as I can find out, what we call natural death is usually preceded by suffering, and a battlefield is one of the very few places where onoe has a resonable prospect of dying with no pain at all. Does it decrease our chances of dying at peace with God? I cannot believe it. If active service does not persuade a man to prepare for death, what conceivable concatenation of circumstances would? Yet war dies do something to death. It forces us to remember it. The only reason why the cancer at sixty or the paralysis at seventy-five do not bother us is that we forget them. War makes death real to us, and that would have been regarded as one of its blessings by most of the great Christians of the past. They thought it good for us to be always aware of our mortality. I am inclined to think they were right. All the animal life in us, all schemes of happiness that centred in this world, were always doomed to a final frustration. In ordinary times only a wise man can realise it. Now the stupidest of us knows. We see unmistakably the sort of universe in which we have all along been living, and must come to terms with it. If we had foolish un-Christian hopes about human culture, they are now shattered. If we thought we were building up a heaven on earth, if we looked for something that would turn the present world from a place of pilgrimage into a permanent city satisfying the soul of man, we are disillusioned, and not a moment too soon." -- C.S. Lewis, exerpt from The Weight of Glory

The more of C.S.L I read, the more I am impressed. I find the above to fit in nicely with not just war, but all the things that we see happening around us right now - earthquakes, hurricanes, suicide bombers and terrorists running rampant. Of course, I still wish he would have wrote with less flair, in terms of the language [parden my ineptitude in the finer points of literature]. Surely his books will become an easier read then. Yet, struggling to understand a particular paragraph can be quite challenging and invigorating at times. It just goes to show that C.S.L is NOT for the casual reader. Definately not your bedtime story.

But, darn are his books expensive!!

God Did Not Create Evil, Cold or Darkness

2005-10-04T09:16:00.000+08:00

University Classroom Setting...

"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ," The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes, sir."

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could... in fact most of us would if we could... God doesn't." [No answer.]

"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

[No answer]

The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. "Let's start again, son."

"Is God good?"

"Er... Yes."

"Is Satan good?"

"No."

"Where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From... God..."

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking, student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"

"Yes."

"Who created evil?

[No answer]

"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness. All those terrible things - do they exist in this world? "

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"Who created them? "

[No answer]

The professor suddenly shouts at his student. "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!"The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice: "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"

[No answer]

The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized.

"Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"

[No answer]

"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause.

"Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and whispers, "Is God good?"

[No answer]

"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."

The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you seen Him? "

"No, sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir. I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelled your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"

[No answer]

"Answer me, please."

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"

"No, sir."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"...yes..."

"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"

[The student doesn't answer]

"Sit down, please."

The Christian sits...defeated.

Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"

The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."

The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you if that's okay. Is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies, frowning. "There's heat."

"Is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No, sir, there isn't."

The professor's grin freezes.

The room suddenly goes very cold. The second Christian continues. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat but we don't have anything called 'cold'.

We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than 458 -- You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat.

We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy.

Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it." Silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.

"Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?" "That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"

"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes..."

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't.

If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you...give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"

Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."

The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!""

"Sir, may I explain what I mean?"

The class is all ears.

"Explain... oh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability itself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.

"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains; "that for example there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it."

The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids you can buy, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"

"Of course there is, now look..."

"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses.

"Isn't evil the absence of good?"

The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.

The Christian continues. "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if he exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil. What is that work God is accomplishing?

The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."

The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."

"I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going," the Christian replies. "Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you believethat we have evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?" The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.

"Professor. All previous attempts to explain how the process works have failed. Since no-one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a priest?"

"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.

"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"

"I believe in what is - that's observable science!"

"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. What you call "science" too is a premise which is flawed..."

"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters. The class is in uproar.

The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?" The professor wisely keeps silent.

The Christian looks around the room. "Sir, the basic law of physics says matter can neither be created nor destroyed, and yet you in spite of that believe in "spontaneous generation" of the entire physical universe! Spontaneous generation of vermin was disproved centuries ago.

Talk about straining out the gnat and swallowing the camel! Sir, biogenesis is "observable science" as you say--life has only been observed to come from other life of like kind--and yet you apparently still believe that that is exactly what happened--in spite of science--that life somehow came from non-life. "

Young man, the professor began tersely, I believe that science will eventually....

"That science will eventually prove that matter can be created, that life can come from non-life" interrupted the young Christian? Sir, that's not science--that's Faith! What you believe is the exact opposite of "observable science"!Your faith is in what you are calling "science", my faith is in God who created "science".

Make no mistake, Professor, we're both operating from faith."

There follows a long pause as the Professor stares the young Christian down without a word.

"Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's mind?" The class breaks out in laughter. The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's mind... felt the professor's mind, touched or smelled the professor's mind?"

No one appears to have done so. The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no-one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's mind whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol and science, I DECLARE that the professor has no mind." The class is in chaos. The Christian sits... Because that is what a chair is for, and begins filling out a drop slip.

(source: unknown)

On love

2005-09-29T14:33:00.000+08:00

Does God love us unconditionally, just the way we are?

Removing the religious connotations, do we love people unconditionally for what they are, or do we expect other people to love us unconditionally for what we are?

Applies to everything; friends, family, lovers, all relationships.

How many times have we heard from our parents, that they really love us a lot, if only we could keep our rooms clean, help with the housework, be less troublesome, study hard, wash the dishes, mop the floor, iron the clothes? How many times have we heard from friends, that they really like us, if only we could be a little more tactful, helpful, generous, caring, kind?

And yet, how many times have we heard the timeless mantra of: "If you really love me, then love me for who I am and don't expect me to change for you."?

Oh God, if only you could love me without conditions! If so, free me from all my troubles and pain, and trials and persecution!

Sounds good.

Yet God does not do that. There is pain. There are troubles. Trials and persecutions are everywhere, pouncing on you unexpectedly as you turn the corner. Why is that? Shouldn't God be the perfect embodiment of love?

He is.

Because love is not without conditions.

Because we are sinners, so we cannot enjoy the perfect love that comes from God. Yes, he sent his Son to forgive us, but is forgiveness enough? We are still sinners, no matter how many countless times we have confessed and been forgiven. Because of this we cannot receive God's love. And yet, even so, God loved us so that he was willing to wait for us, to be justified in Christ with all his goodness in us, to be purified by the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, so that we may be a clean vessel for his love. Perfect love cannot happen until and unless we are lovable by God! How do we become that? You guessed it: troubles, pain, trials and persecution. Is that sadistic? No, it is love. For the love of God is so great that he spends eternity waiting for us, helping us to become lovable and deserving of his perfect and wonderful love. Where does that journey end? In heaven.

So let us stop demanding that we be loved by others for just the way we are. Because, face it, just the way we are is not lovable. And so it will not be love if others should just love whatever we are. We should be accepting of others' flaws, and at the same time, encouraging and praying for positive changes to take place, so that those flaws may be transformed into strengths. In doing so, I am not saying that we withhold our love and expect 100% transformation before loving. In fact, it is our love that does the transforming. Ours and His.

In this, let us not be blinded by the flaws of others' such that we are masked from our own. This is why the union of man and woman is, in my opinion, the most appropriate representation of godly love, where 2 individuals love each other deeply, and use their love for each other to change for the better, for themselves as well as for each other.

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:6-7

---

Oh ya.

FELICIA ROCKS.

There, I said it! =D

And I mean it!

1 of 9, 0 of 28

2005-09-26T08:49:00.000+08:00

I will not be bitter.

Not ever again, if I can help it. Not likely to happen, that, but one can all but hope.

You won't get what the title means, but it is not random.

It's getting to the point that I'm feeling more and more discouraged with every passing day. I just want it to be over. Why can't I ever get a clear answer? Why can't things be thrown on the table and settled once and for all? Why do people like to leave things hanging in mid air? I don't want to wait forever and I ain't got forever to wait. One of these days I will rip up all those stuff and finally step out of my own bubble of hope. I think I will start by cleaning up the links at the bottom. Pettiness? Maybe.

Some people are more worth it than others.

This update is for my audience of one. (see previous post)

It is not surprising that the only thing that's really keeping me going is the thought of singing with the choir again.

Mmm..

I've really got nothing much to say. Sorry.

I haven't found a church yet. Actually I haven't been actively searching for one. Is going to church extremely important? I'm beginning to think it's not. It's so easy to be content with your spirituality in church. And which idiot can't feel worship-ful in church? The challenge is life.

I better stop myself before I go bashing the stupidity that is modern charismatic churches again.

After all, I don't want to write too much about religious stuff. It is, in my opinion, idiotic and irritating to see people write post after post of nothing but their insignificant religious musings. I mean, yeah, if they were intellectual and engaging stuff, by all means. But please. All I ever see is "OMG THANK GOD FOR SENDING ME BUS NUMBER ### SO QUICKLY TODAY!!" (God doesn't care about your stupid bus) or "My results are really bad but I don't really want to study you know so I waited until the last minute and then I screwed up but thank GOD he was there to help me and I will work harder WORK HARDER next time OMG I'm so convicted God is so awesome OMG!" (Screw you, lazy people should just shut their whining), or random crap like "I feel so inspiried by [insert christian song], it really speaks to me, [blah blah blah], I am so reminded of [insert generic religious truth]", as if the same thing was not said 2 or 3 posts ago. What, they have a template for this sort of thing? A little drop-down menu to choose from?

These examples are hyperbolded, but they illustrate what I've seen from 3 different blogs [cookies for the person who identify which 3] which, I am embarrassed to admit, I still read semi-regularly. But only so I can shake my head and remind myself how pitiful they are. Pfftt. Grow up.

Hmm..

"You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality."

"You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with."

"It is amazing that you yourself believe that old 'adage' that you are a misunderstood person - and you feel that because of this you are being left out in the cold. It is because of this lack of believed understanding that you feel the need to conform to society in general - but this situation leaves you 'cold' knowing that you are not appreciated for your true self. Any relationship that you are developing at this time does not seem to involve any true emotional commitment, you seem to be just playing along."

"You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone."

"You don't like conflict and you endeavor to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company."

"what say you regarding this?"

I say, I agree with the last statement. =D

My results:

"At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor."

"You are an emotional and sensitive person. You are inclined to delight and wallow in all things that give pleasure to your senses but nevertheless your tastes are refined and you reject anything that is indecent or vulgar."

"You feel unhappy because you feel that you are not able to obtain the co-operation of those around you. All you would like at this time would be to achieve harmony within your circle."

"Recently everything seems to have gone wrong and so you are experiencing considerable stress and anxiety due to mental conflict. A continuous case of 'Should I?' or 'Shouldn't I?'. At this particular moment in time you feel as if you have reached the end of your tether and it seems impossible to ever rectify the situation and so you have decided, perhaps quite unrealistically, to postpone making any further decisions. Disappointment and unfulfilled hopes have given rise to despondency. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decision, you are likely to immerse yourself in the pursuit of trivialities as an escape route."

"You seem to be always on the defensive and that is because you have failed to establish yourself in a manner consistent with your own high opinion of yourself. You are trying to prove yourself with inadequate resources and this has resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to escape from these excessive demands on your reserves by adopting a defensive attitude in which you refuse to be committed or to be involved in further unpleasantness."

Amazing. Almost all true. Wow.

http://colorgenics.com

hint

2005-09-24T23:50:00.000+08:00

BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: u ah
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: very long nv BLOG le hor
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: keep seeing ur nice dream
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: lol
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: no leh
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: only one time only
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: no more le
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: =(
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: ya...nothing to say leh..so nv blog lor..
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: haha
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: talk about ur darlin friend here lor
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: HAHAHA
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: wah lao
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: you very bhb leh
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: hahaha
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: oso nothing to say wat...wat, "i played minesweeper with feli today AGAIN"?
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: now....say...you go out with me...watch show or something...den...AHA! got something to write abt le! lol =D
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: haha
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: u didn't play minesweeper with me
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: we just played checkers
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: "i won feli at checkers"!
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: one liner posts
[cK] njchoir.net for carolling updates: haha
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: hahaha
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: aiyah
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: then..
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: forget it
BaBy^GiR~~~ freedom!! at least for now: haha

--

SHE PURPOSELY DON'T GET THE HINT. -__-

LOL.

Dreams (the sleeping kind)

2005-09-02T10:29:00.000+08:00

I had a nice dream last night.

=)

Obviously I can't tell you what it is about, or why I like it so much, but I can tell you that it's a damn nice dream.

=)

See, I'm smiling non-stop.

=)

Just thinking about it is enough to keep me happy the whole day.

Like they say, think about it enough during the day, and you'll dream about it in the night.

I could almost wish that I didn't have to wake up this morning.

Ok, now back to work.

How much do you cost?

2005-08-30T10:17:00.000+08:00

3 boxes (3 x 30) of insulin infusion set -- ~$750
1 set lasts for 3 days, thus -- ~$8.30/day

1 box (1 x 5 vials) of Novorapid insulin -- ~$85
1 vial lasts for 5 days, thus -- ~$3.40/day

3 month regular checkup with specialist -- $79
Thus, -- ~$0.85/day

So. I cost maybe $12 a day. Not counting food and other stuff.

Damn I'm high maintainence.

---

How much can you remember of your orientation days? I mean in JC, of course, since I haven't enter university yet.

I remember towards the end of orientation our ogls made us sit in a circle, told us to write our name on a piece of paper, and pass it around. Then we would write comments about all our og mates. I was reading that piece of paper last night, what the rest of them wrote for me. Funny, read a lot of "outspoken, outgoing, friendly", which I'm sure is not what most people would describe me as now. Haha. Changes. It was nice though. I can still recognise several people's handwriting, as I kept most of my og mates for the first 3 months, and then half after that. Some of their handwriting never changes, so is easily recognizable, like wei, enid, evan, hui, tzesiang, liz, jin, etc. I'm glad I kept that piece of paper.

I only ever remembered two movie outings with my classmates. One was the mass class outing towards the end of first three months, watching Chicago. The other was Passion of the Christ with wei, evan, mich and jin.

To the original S20: wei, ting, evan, hui, jin, enid, alex, tzesiang, liz, weilun, mj, feyaze, izzy, hidaya, wanyu, weimin, serene, and everybody else I can't remember off hand: it was fun times with you guys. =)

---

The new Goblet of Fire trailer is out! Dragons look cool, I still don't like that dd actor, cho looks average (aka disappointing), fluer looks fantastic, hermy's great as usual, ron just funny with long hair. Can't wait. Oh, harry hollow-back-ing out of the water in the trailer was cool. Flash back to gym days. Damn I miss my trampoline.

---

For this week, I pray that I will not have bitter feelings. Amen.

bad and other things

2005-08-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

Bad things first.

They are really pathetic.

First they shrug off the problem as if it's of no importance.

Then once they realise that I'm really serious, they start their futile attempts to "convince" me.

I'm sorry, I'm not some ignorant, stupid and naive idiot who will just listen as you spew crap and believe. I know my stuff. And from talking to you, it's very apparent that you don't know your stuff.

So I offer to let them have some time to study the subject before coming back to me. And how do they respond? With more fluff.

Oh come on, who are you trying to kid? I'm not some 12 year old. You can't just write me off with some generic responses passed down from people higher up in the system. I'm not that dumb. Oh, and drop that condecending attitude while you are at it, will you?

They can't just take this like the debate that it is. They have to come in with the "you are having wrong conceptions here let big daddy help you with your problems" shit.

With this kind of crap coming from supposed leaders, God help them all.

It is true, I think. Charismatic churches and new age movements really do give christianity a bad name. Full of "feel-good" preaching and nothing else. Bah.

I'm done.

Now for the good things.

Well, maybe not good. Just, other things.

I need to exercise more, build up my stamina again. I was half dead after only an hour of badminton today. Sigh. Should go running again.

I had a mini self-realization. Haha.

My approach to relationships is very weird, to say the least. At least I think it is.

I think a perfect relationship, be it between family or friends or lovers or anybody, is one where the parties involve all get what they expect out of it.

My way of doing things, is first I "test waters", see if he/she respond to me, see if they send any signals to say that they are interested. If I feel really comfortable and I think that they are responding well to me, then I jump right in and devote myself. If not, I'll just withdraw and hide. I think that explains why I have some good friends, and some people whom I know that I just don't care about or bother to communicate with or keep things alive with. Once in a while I go back and see if their responses changes, but most of the time they don't. So I couldn't be bothered either.

This time around, I am determined not to make the same mistake as before.

What mistake?

The same mistake that I made before, first with E, then with AM, and then again with AC. All three. Same mistake, although different circumstances and different feelings. The mistake of expecting too much. Oh, what a mistake.

It's funny, how each of them gave me a different feeling, which is also different from what F is giving me now.

I won't make the same mistake again for the fourth time.

I cannot afford to.

I hope things will turn out fine.

When David heard...

2005-08-23T17:00:00.000+08:00

"When David heard that Absalom was slain he went up into his chamber over the gate and wept, my son, my son, O Absalom my son, would God I had died for thee!" 2 Samuel 18:33

I want to sing this. All 15 minutes of it. All 18-parts of it.