Tuesday, April 12, 2005
i feel so..
..confused? Cheated? I don't have the necessary vocabulary to describe my feelings.
What if it had been my fault in the very first place?
Such a small action, but O, such a large effect it has on me.
Another weekend past, spent at home [mostly]. Weeks seem to be flying by quite quickly.
Sunday we went to visit my maternal grandparents' grave. Woke up at 4 am, and considering I slept at 3 [dota-ing, no doubt], I didn't really feel very tired. 20 people trying to find their way in the dark is quite fun. Anyway it was a nice gathering of sorts, weather was pretty nice too.
[By the way, any self-righteous Christians who think that going to sao3 mu4 or "sweep grave" so to speak during qing1 ming2 is unbiblical/idol-worship, please reconsider. And after reconsidering, if you still feel stronly that it's wrong, please do not bug me about it. I have no wish of engaging in an arguement that I know I will win. Yes, I am that good. I can't be bothered to search for the verses now, I think it's somewhere in the Pauline Epistles. Romans 14, I think.]
It becoming more and more evident to me that I can't evangelise for nuts. I simply can't. I have no idea how to approach the topic. No matter how many answers I have, how strong my arguements are, how many verses I have up my sleeves, I'm still so incapable at preaching the Gospel. I have long knew that my strength lies in serious apologetics and not "feel-good" evangelising. But I really want to evangelise! I want to share the Gospel with people! So many people around me, waiting to be saved. Mom and dad. Sisters. Cousins. Aunties and uncles. Friends - Feli, Cher, HS and Aud, CY, Wei. Sigh. Can't help but feel "handicapped". =/
I suddenly feel like ice-skating. I've only skated a grand total of 3 times before, twice with sisters and cousins, and once with classmates after the As. Hmm weekend maybe.
Tata off to play Zelda lol.
{/10:35 AM}
me