Sunday, May 08, 2005
temptat[i]on
Another week flew by. I don't know why other NS people keep complaining, but I really find that my time in NS really passes very quickly. Maybe it's because my unit is slack compared to others. Mwahaha. Week after week I just sort of "skid" by. I guess when my upper-study ORDs and leaves me alone it will be a different story. My new boss is coming in, which I absolutely dread. More red tape to handle, yay.
Saturday was fun. Needed to go extend my passport for the Malaysia trip, so woke up earlier than normal, which isn't very early so to speak. Anyway reached there and it was like super crowded. But no choice so queued. When it was my turn, I discovered to my HORROR that I had left my 11B in the office's OA computer!! [11B = IC] I was like, damn, all the queueing for nothing. And you know how irritated those people usually are, especially on a Saturday and nearing knock-off time. But the lady was VERY kind, and allowed me to prove my identity with the thumbprint machine. Thank God!
Headed over to PS for lunch. Went over to Barang Barand to pay Edwin a visit. He even tried to sell me furnitures. Lol. Then I left for practice at HC. Quite slack, actually. Combined sectionals a bit, den combined a bit. It was nice to sing with Miss Lim again. And singing those old songs like "Bogoro" and "Tsubasa" really brings back many memories and emotions. HCV does sound pretty good, for a bunch of people that just finished their exams. Hah.
Met Wei while crossing the bridge. Talked for a bit. He still hasn't changed much. Got shortlisted for both Medical and Dentistry interview. Crapped a bit about NS stuff. Talked about deferment, which I am quite seriously thinking about. Talked about God and stuff. He's still been going to Jin's church, but have not been saved yet. I really pray that I can help him.
Anyway wasn't watching the time so I thought I was going to be late and cabbed down to Somerset. Wasted $6.30. I reached there SECOND. Bah. Should have taken bus and made them wait. Mwahaha. Ok that's too evil. Nice to see Honseng and Auddie again though =) We waited outside the Ramen place for more than 30 minutes before we got to go in. I think the time we spent eating was less than the time we waited. There was a brief talk about watching "Kingdom", but as expected, it was only talk. Not that I blame them. We were walking around aimlessly after eating. Wanted to go TCC but it was full. Walked over to Taka and shopped around. Went over to Coffee Bean but it was closing. So they decided to go home. I really didn't felt like going home. But oh well, go with the flow.
There's more. Maybe later tonight. Taa for now~
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Back.
Tuition is irritating me. Like, seriously. He never does my homework. Everyweek I go there I feel like a useless bum collecting $200 per month for nothing. I just sit down and watch him do homework. He doesn't even make the effort to think. Everything I also spoonfeed. Argh. Driving me crazy.
I would seriously rather teach someone who works as hard as I do for free than to teach someone who is lazy and unwilling for money.
The other day, I went home with a freaking headache and still dug out my Chemistry textbook and revised my Acid-Base Equilibria, just because someone said she had questions on that topic to ask me. In the end she didn't, like I expected. Sigh. Sometimes I think I am worrying for nothing. Sometimes I feel stupid.
I think I shall just stop asking. There's no point. It feels as if I am trying to force myself on others. How egoistic is that? The egoism must be oozing out of my pores. The offer is still going to be dangling there, but you damn well be sure that I am not going to go around begging people to let me help them with their studies.
Watched Kingdom of Heaven. It's so not worth the $10 [$15, plus drinks and all]. Orlando Bloom is not a very good actor. There isn't really much of a plot. The fighting scenes are all very LOTR-ish. Bah. Lucky I watched alone and never drag anyone along. Wasting my own money is bad enough, let alone waste other's money. Haha.
So.
In the end I didn't make it to go church with Wei and Jin. I was so angry and frustrated at myself, I sat on my bed and stoned and prayed when I woke up and realised it was too late. Grrrr. I think God is telling me that I am not ready yet. I'm still so shaky myself, what position am I in to be trying to save others? Save myself first, hah. It's getting drier and drier. I really really miss Jiehui, Lincoln, Chris and Kaiyan. Like, really. I regret all those times I ran away from caregroup and shephearding and fellowship. I was so stupid.
Sigh.
Shall discontinue less it gets more and more depressing.
God, guide me.
{/12:07 PM}
me