Thursday, July 14, 2005
transformation
Transformation.
Getting scared now.
NS is really a trying time. There is never a day in work where I do not struggle with doing my best in everything for the glory of God, or just slack off and meet the bare minimum requirements since that's what almost everyone else is doing. Not a day passes where I do not struggle with respecting the authorities or scorning them with typical teenage condecension and superiority. Everyday I struggle with upholding my God given morals or succumbing to the peer influence of my perishing collegues.
Funny, how we feel the need to 'fit in' and 'go with the flow' of the unrighteous and unsaved. Even though we know it's wrong and not worth it. 'Total depravity' at work, it seems. My birthday verse again:
Do not envy wicked men,
do not desire their company;
- proverbs 24:1
It scared me, how quickly I jumped onto the bandwagon and went with the flow. Without even a noticable pause I joined the rest in bashing the CO, throwing in all the regulars into the mix for good measure as well. Not once did I even consider that what we were so used to doing was already WRONG in the first place, and that the CO's 'orders' were merely repetitions of what we already know we should be doing.
More sergeats in the office now, meaning more smokers. Thank God, that my office environment is not that bad, as I know there are worse in other units. I have every confidence in God that I will survive my NS unscarthed. Even better, I know that I will be enriched spiritually and grow in the ways of the Lord. And I pray the same for my NS brothers.
More later, now must do work.
{/11:58 AM}
me