Monday, August 15, 2005
Pride
"A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see something that's above you." - C.S. Lewis
Nothing is more annoying than watching your friends struggle with life's greatest questions (What's my purpose? What do I want? What am I living for? Where am I going?) but are too proud to look Up.
O God, I want to help them.
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Met up with choir people on Saturday. Props goes out to Sher who managed to drag them out while yours truly sat on his lazy butt and said "Hey, let's meet, you go call them up". It's not easy to organize gatherings, with everyone having different schedules and priorities. Dinner wasn't great, and it was too expensive by far, but that notwithstanding I think an enjoyable time was had, and I dare say by all.
Going through major phases in your life makes it difficult to kep up with old friendships, no? Other people just seem to be getting along so well with their "new" lives that you don't really want to go and disturb them, or try to tie them back to the "old times". Indeed, it seems that old times are not meant to be constantly revisited, but merely occasionaly reminisced over coffee or dinner.
Which is why old friends are hard to keep. You got to make extra effort to be interested in their lives, while patiently sharing yours. You got to let go of your pride to actively arrange gatherings and catching-up sessions and movie dates and dinners together. You got to ignore the fear of rejection, or having to re-schedule over and over again, or the few wham-bam-get-out-of-my-life-I'm-moving-on responses.
Which is also why old friends get treasured so much. Not because of the length of the friendship, no matter how long or short, but simply because you have made too much of an effort to bear to see it gone. Damn it, if my efforts shall go to waste!
Nobody wanted to ride the reverse bungee with me. =(
Audrey had been messaging somebody the whole night. A boy, unless I miss my guess =D Reminded me of the time long ago when I was the one on the other end. I thought back a little further and remembered someone else with whom I had crazy conversations with. I wonder where the magic had gone.
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I do not have to go clubbing to be cool.
I do not have to drink alcohol to be cool.
I do not have to have stories to tell of how I got drunk and went wild to be cool.
I do not have to curse and swear to be cool.
I do not have to jump on the bandwagon to be cool.
I do not have to avoid the popular and be the anti-cliche to be cool.
I do not have to pretend to like something when I don't to be cool.
I do not have to do what everyone does to be cool.
I do not have to live life like them to be cool.
Because, guess what?
God is cool.
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Sunday is offically family sports day.
Badminton is fun, and I need the exercise. Was looking forward to going East Coast on Saturday, too bad that didn't materialise. Sometimes it doesn't have to be just dinners or movies, you know. Some outdoor activities would be a nice change.
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So next year the choir will be down to 2 choices. Musica Mundi in Germany, or Riva Del Garda in Italy. Although I don't mind going to Germany again, I would really like the chance to face off with VJ again, and they are going to Riva. A chance of a rematch would be nice. I wonder how many from the alumni will go. I doubt there will be many. I just hope I won't be the only one.
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Surprisingly, I feel quite good today. Even though it is monday. People must have been praying for me lately. =)
{/12:37 PM}
me