Monday, September 26, 2005
1 of 9, 0 of 28
I will not be bitter.
Not ever again, if I can help it. Not likely to happen, that, but one can all but hope.
You won't get what the title means, but it is not random.
It's getting to the point that I'm feeling more and more discouraged with every passing day. I just want it to be over. Why can't I ever get a clear answer? Why can't things be thrown on the table and settled once and for all? Why do people like to leave things hanging in mid air? I don't want to wait forever and I ain't got forever to wait. One of these days I will rip up all those stuff and finally step out of my own bubble of hope. I think I will start by cleaning up the links at the bottom. Pettiness? Maybe.
Some people are more worth it than others.
This update is for my audience of one. (see previous post)
It is not surprising that the only thing that's really keeping me going is the thought of singing with the choir again.
Mmm..
I've really got nothing much to say. Sorry.
I haven't found a church yet. Actually I haven't been actively searching for one. Is going to church extremely important? I'm beginning to think it's not. It's so easy to be content with your spirituality in church. And which idiot can't feel worship-ful in church? The challenge is life.
I better stop myself before I go bashing the stupidity that is modern charismatic churches again.
After all, I don't want to write too much about religious stuff. It is, in my opinion, idiotic and irritating to see people write post after post of nothing but their insignificant religious musings. I mean, yeah, if they were intellectual and engaging stuff, by all means. But please. All I ever see is "OMG THANK GOD FOR SENDING ME BUS NUMBER ### SO QUICKLY TODAY!!" (God doesn't care about your stupid bus) or "My results are really bad but I don't really want to study you know so I waited until the last minute and then I screwed up but thank GOD he was there to help me and I will work harder WORK HARDER next time OMG I'm so convicted God is so awesome OMG!" (Screw you, lazy people should just shut their whining), or random crap like "I feel so inspiried by [insert christian song], it really speaks to me, [blah blah blah], I am so reminded of [insert generic religious truth]", as if the same thing was not said 2 or 3 posts ago. What, they have a template for this sort of thing? A little drop-down menu to choose from?
These examples are hyperbolded, but they illustrate what I've seen from 3 different blogs [cookies for the person who identify which 3] which, I am embarrassed to admit, I still read semi-regularly. But only so I can shake my head and remind myself how pitiful they are. Pfftt. Grow up.
Hmm..
"You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality."
"You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with."
"It is amazing that you yourself believe that old 'adage' that you are a misunderstood person - and you feel that because of this you are being left out in the cold. It is because of this lack of believed understanding that you feel the need to conform to society in general - but this situation leaves you 'cold' knowing that you are not appreciated for your true self. Any relationship that you are developing at this time does not seem to involve any true emotional commitment, you seem to be just playing along."
"You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone."
"You don't like conflict and you endeavor to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company."
"what say you regarding this?"
I say, I agree with the last statement. =D
My results:
"At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor."
"You are an emotional and sensitive person. You are inclined to delight and wallow in all things that give pleasure to your senses but nevertheless your tastes are refined and you reject anything that is indecent or vulgar."
"You feel unhappy because you feel that you are not able to obtain the co-operation of those around you. All you would like at this time would be to achieve harmony within your circle."
"Recently everything seems to have gone wrong and so you are experiencing considerable stress and anxiety due to mental conflict. A continuous case of 'Should I?' or 'Shouldn't I?'. At this particular moment in time you feel as if you have reached the end of your tether and it seems impossible to ever rectify the situation and so you have decided, perhaps quite unrealistically, to postpone making any further decisions. Disappointment and unfulfilled hopes have given rise to despondency. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decision, you are likely to immerse yourself in the pursuit of trivialities as an escape route."
"You seem to be always on the defensive and that is because you have failed to establish yourself in a manner consistent with your own high opinion of yourself. You are trying to prove yourself with inadequate resources and this has resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to escape from these excessive demands on your reserves by adopting a defensive attitude in which you refuse to be committed or to be involved in further unpleasantness."
Amazing. Almost all true. Wow.
http://colorgenics.com
{/8:49 AM}
me
