Friday, April 06, 2007
Let's look at the pros and cons.
Pros:
1. We'll be less troubled. Or at least, I will be, I think.
2. I will no longer feel stupid.
3. I will be free to place my heart at the feet of another.
4. I won't torture myself fantasizing about what may be anymore.
5. I won't keep trying to fool myself into thinking there's a possibility.
Cons:
1. I will lose a friend. Or at least things won't be like they are now.
2. I will be sad for, like, 5 years.
3. I'll be bored from now till August. And probably long after that too.
4. I will be forever tormented by "what if".
5. I won't be able to forgive myself if she's hurt.
Other factors:
1. I really like the way things are now. At the same time I really hate it. I think the word here is "complicated".
2. I'm a better guy than him. Not saying I'm great (not even close), but I'm better than him at the least.
What am I to do?
I see 3 choices:
1. Stay and let everything be the same, let nature take its course.
2. Fight. And hope for the best.
3. Run.
At the moment, none of the options look even remotely appealing.
I wished I had a straight answer. Saying "I'm not ready for it yet" is just inviting me to consider even the slightest possibility.
Okay. Rant over. I'm going to sleep.
{/5:23 PM}
me