Sunday, April 08, 2007
Oh, it hurts alright.
Why else would I spend the day sleeping?
There are many advantages, being asleep, as compared to being awake. You don't feel the pain. You don't feel the sorrow. You can avoid thinking about the complicated things. You can put off making a decision.
There are the dreams, of course. But at least you know that the dreams are not real.
The pain's real.
I knew it would come down to this, but that doesn't make things hurt any less, does it.
In the end I'm still not good enough, no matter what I do.
Every decision I make from now onwards will hurt. There isn't an option left open for me that does not hurt in one way or another. I wish I can be selfish but I can't.
What's best for me? No.
What's best for you.
You.
{/3:21 AM}
me
